working from home/being the default parent
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Anonymous
Just sharing because so many people can relate. I have a fairly flexible job. My 7yo is sick today. I worked from home. No problem. I also had my performance review. So my boss had JUST shared with me the two things I really need to work on in 2016, and it was my turn to express that I understand what she said and offer some ways I might do what she is suggesting (yadda yadda yadda) when my son bursts into my office hopping on one leg. He is smart enough to be quiet during the call, but I was trying to focus and sound semi intelligent while a goofy 7yo was literally jumping around me. This is part of why I will never have the success I would have if I weren't a parent (and the default parent who almost always takes on the sick kid, the school holiday, etc). That's it. This is real life.  My son is completely fine, of course. He's just.... seven.
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Anonymous
| This is why I hate telling people I work from home. How unprofessional can you be? |
Anonymous
| Not having childcare is pretty much illegal if you bill the government |
Anonymous
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OP, I've definitely been there. Sometimes on snow days, if I know I'm expecting a call, I will bribe my kids to stay down in the basement and play without interrupting me. Sometimes it works. Sometimes I'm standing up against my office door to prevent a 6 year old from bursting in when I hear his heavy footsteps barrel up the steps.
I buried my pride regarding success and ambition a long time ago (the 6 year old is my 3rd child and I feel like I've been a juggler for years). You're right. It's real life. The alternative is to quit my job and there's no way I'm giving up a flexible (though agitating at times) paycheck. |
Anonymous
| And for the naysayers, a good teleworker always has backup care. There are times, though, when I offer to call in sick because of a sick kid and my boss would rather me work, with a few interruptions, rather than nothing all day. |
Anonymous
| Lock on your door - use it while in videoconferences and on calls. And teach your child boundaries. What's cute from a 2 y.o. is not the same from a 7 y.o. |
Anonymous
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My job is amazing. They are so flexible. My boss doesn't work in my office and he just cares that I get the job done. It is SUCH a family friendly company. I work 2 miles away from home. It sounds like a dream, right? It is, but sometimes I wish they weren't so flexible. My husband's job is not as flexible. (They understand family situations but not to the extent my company does). Because of that I have to take a lot of hits. I do it because I love my child but I wish at times my boss was as strict so I would HAVE to be at work in my office etc. I do all the pick ups and drop offs because I am closer. My husband is AMAZING and so helpful and a perfect father but there are certain things he can't help with because of work. I'm the default parent.
Also, teleworking is hard. I want to kick my pre-kid self that silently judged my colleagues that were on conference calls while they were working from home and I heard their child. I always thought that when my son was 1 and had the ability to go to daycare 2 or 3 days a week (up until 1 he had to go 5) I would work from home a day. Not now. I rather pay extra for daycare because I'd never get work done. |
Anonymous
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I hear ya OP. And I knew going in my decision to do this was going to effectively be a career killer. Still, it's less stressful than trying to do it all. I usually have my kids watch TV when I have a conference call. I tell them don't bug me unless there is a broken bone or blood gushing out, but I still keep an ear out for major fights and tears.
And no, I don't work for the gov't, and my boss still considers me a valuable member. |
Anonymous
| Don't complain if you get anther bad performance review next year. You have to DO something to resolve this problem, pronto. |
Anonymous
| I'm not understanding how all these teleworkers are having their kids interupt them when they are working. If you're working (telecommuting) you shouldn't be parenting. If you're parenting, you shouldn't be working. Gives all of us telecommuters a bad name and potentially ruins the perk for the rest of us. Get back up child care or take leave! |
Anonymous
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Completely understand. My boss definitely prefers I work to taking the day completely off, so I often work from home with a sick child. It is so frustrating that DH can't do it as often as I can, but he definitely does when he can. Sometimes, it just plain sucks. You want to be the best version of yourself as an employee but you just cant because of those adorable kids you love and would do anything for.. including stalling your career.
Definitely why you really can't "have it all." It is just physically impossible. You can certainly try, but it wont always be the ideal you wish or could envision. That being said, the grass is always greener, right? When my kids ask for me for bedtime snuggles, cry for me when they need a hug, and write me sweet love notes- being the default parent sure does have its upsides! |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
Often this isn't a "regular" telecommuting situation. OP stated that her child was sick. My boss knows that when my child is sick or school is cancelled for weather or even if there is an inservice day I can (A) take the day off entirely or (B) work from home as best as I can, knowing full well there may be some interruptions. Often the Boss is the one to suggest that you do this. They are doing this with full knowledge of the situation and without requiring the childcare that would be needed if it were a regular arrangement. It is one of those family friendly work environment "perks" that working parents really appreciate. On days I do this, I report my hours after the day is over. If I was about to work 5, I take 3 PTO. Or maybe I take 5 PTO. Depends on how distracted I was. |
Anonymous
Did OP give any indication that she worked for the gov't or billed the gov't in her job? |
Anonymous
It might be at your agency, it's not at mine. |