How to support DH through difficult work period when I'm burnt out

[Anonymous]

My DH is going through a very tough time at work. He travels M-F and works like a dog on the road right now, and comes home very drained. I want to support him through this time. At the same time, I'm home with 4 kids all week alone (SAHM, no housekeeper or nanny, 2 in elementary and 2 in morning preschool, not every day). I also need to have some relaxing time on the weekends. I feel like I spend 99.99% of my time taking care of everyone and everything at home- my DH wouldn't know our kids teacher names or where their Drs offices are if you paid him. That's what I signed up for, but sometimes I need to be taken care of too, kwim? I feel like no one is ever looking out for me. I'm so tired. I feel bad that when DH finally gets home on Fridays, and relaxes a bit after dinner, I start to get so resentful as I'm doing the dinner dishes and getting kids ready for bed.
Just had to vent.

[Anonymous]

It's ok! Vent away!!
Is there an option for you and DH to go to a hotel for a day/night? Both get m massages, go for a nice dinner and go to bed early!

[Anonymous]

Man, been there, it's awful. Just stay appreciative of each other and commiserate together. Then time will pass and it will get better.
Do not (him or you) do the "keep a stiff upper lip" thing. Just looks self-centered. Work through it, don't sweep it under the rug.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe you.

This sounds like a post compiled of the complaints about what men do or don't do and what women do or don't do for family / around the house etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is going through a very tough time at work. He travels M-F and works like a dog on the road right now, and comes home very drained. I want to support him through this time. At the same time, I'm home with 4 kids all week alone (SAHM, no housekeeper or nanny, 2 in elementary and 2 in morning preschool, not every day). I also need to have some relaxing time on the weekends. I feel like I spend 99.99% of my time taking care of everyone and everything at home- my DH wouldn't know our kids teacher names or where their Drs offices are if you paid him. That's what I signed up for, but sometimes I need to be taken care of too, kwim? I feel like no one is ever looking out for me. I'm so tired. I feel bad that when DH finally gets home on Fridays, and relaxes a bit after dinner, I start to get so resentful as I'm doing the dinner dishes and getting kids ready for bed.
Just had to vent.

Maybe you both can agree on having a weekend shift where one of you is the primary caretaker for Saturday, and the other is the primary for Sunday? The "secondary" can go off and have some "me time" to unwind for a bit?

[Anonymous]

Get a mothers helper or a sitter on the mornings the two preschoolers are at home.

Do the same on Saturday nights. 8pm-12 am. You all need time together too.

[Anonymous]

DH doesn't travel quite that much but I have 4 kids too, and a traveling DH. It's exhausting. When he gets home from a trip, he tries to time it so he arrives after the kids are asleep, so he can have an evening to rest. Then we let him sleep in the next morning, and he gives the kids his full attention that afternoon because he's finally home and he's reasonably well rested. I'm on the clock and try to get household stuff done that's too hard to do with kids underfoot. The next day is my day off. I can go see a movie, get coffee, go for a hike, whatever. Then he goes back to work the next day and we start the routine again.