Anxiety with BFP

[Anonymous]

We had our second FET this month. On Tuesday (5dp5dt) I started getting BFP on

[Anonymous]

OP again - I have been testing daily getting positives. Our last FET ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks. I thought I would just be excited but instead I have a level of anxiety that I wasnt expecting. How do you take it day by day and relax? Help!

[Anonymous]

I had many losses and could never really find myself getting excited about having a baby until after viability. You just have to take it one day at a time and find things to take your mind away from the stress of the possibility you might miscarry again. For me it was better once first trimester was over but I really didn't rest easy until baby was in my arms and even then there are a whole other set of worries.

[Anonymous]

I had a stillbirth at 20 weeks, so the anxiety never really went away. I just keep repeating to myself, "The best thing I can do for my baby is not be anxious." Baby is getting dosed with all those neuro-chemical anxiety signals every time you freak out. So I try to stay calm for my baby.

[Anonymous]

I also had a loss around 9 weeks, and when I get a BFP on another round, I saw a therapist weekly until I hit week 13. It did help.

[Anonymous]

I think it's different for everyone OP, but very common for those of us who have had trouble conceiving, had multiple losses, know far too much about the incredibly fragile nature of the magic involved in conceiving and giving birth, etc... to have some level of anxiety throughout.

I felt better when I saw heartbeats, and better when I hit 12 weeks, and better when we had the anatomy scan, and better when we hit 24/28/32/36 weeks. But I never fully relaxed. And once we had healthy babies I discovered a whole new level of anxiety about kids in the world today.

So it may never fully go away, but you will learn to manage it. Talking things through w/ my docs, my husband, my friends, and most importantly - with people I met online who were facing similar infertility hurdles, really helped me a great deal.

Hang in there! I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat, OP! It's awful. I had one friend say that you can only say to yourself "today I am pregnant." It's true. Today we are pregnant, and that's all we can know/control. It's a bit of a mantra. I think even with the two losses I had recently, it still feels somewhat better to know that I can get pregnant - I think I would be much more heartbroken having BFNs over and over again. I don't know. It's all hard - all of it. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thanks for the suggestions. I have been seeing a therapist since the miscarriage and it has been helpful. Our last pregnancy we lost because of chromosome issues and the embryo we just transferred was our one PGS normal embryo so I keep trying to remind myself we do have that going for us.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I am starting to think a positive at 5dp5dt is a mixed blessing. My beta with SG is tomorrow and I feel like I am a big ball of nerves and what ifs! This has been a long two weeks!!!!

[Anonymous]

To reiterate what the others have said, the anxiety still remains even though you are pregnant. I had multiple losses and some chemicals. I'm now 28 weeks and am starting to relax just a little bit with each passing milestone. I remember being at my 12 week ultrasound where they told me the sex and I barely batted an eye as I couldn't allow myself to be happy/excited. I also had trouble accepting clothes/gifts from people. I belong to a support group and that has helped a bit.

I look at every passing week as another week under my belt. I'm not sure I will truly relax until I have the baby in my arms - but I hear that having a newborn brings about a whole new set of worries .

[Anonymous]

no advice, just comisseration. I'm in the same boat. woke up this morning feeling more energetic and my first thought was "oh no, have i lost this one too?"

next appointment isn't for a week, either. one day at a time.

[Anonymous]

It never truly goes away. I celebrate every night I go to bed and am still pregnant. Each day is a milestone, each week, each doctor visit.

[Anonymous]

So, so normal. I was very much the same way. I played meditations from this site at night as I was going to sleep to help me get through it. http://www.anjionline.com/pages/PregnancyMeditationDownloads.html

[Anonymous]

You just have to will yourself to relax. Today you're pregnant! Your baby needs relaxation and no anxiety. I think it makes a difference in your health. I didn't tell anyone this (even DH) but I made lists of baby names and an elaborate baby registry. Anything to make myself happy and hopeful. I also looked at cute baby pictures.

Most of my anxiety went away at 12 weeks and I'm hoping it decreases further when I hit 20 weeks. I didn't even appear excited when I heard I was pregnant or when I saw the first ultrasounds. It was too surreal.

[Anonymous]

OP again - thanks to everyone for the thoughts and to the PP who are in the same boat with me - best of luck! I will keep my fingers crossed for all of us!