For Every ‘Yes’ Man at Work, There’s a ‘No’ Woman

[Anonymous]

Great article. This is true in my office. And MEN NEVER TAKE NOTES.

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/02/every-yes-man-at-work-a-no-woman.html

[Anonymous]

This is a fantastic article! I am surrounded by creative idea people, and I'm the one who has to implement all the craziness, so I spend a lot of time saying things like "no, as cool as it would be, we can't actually fly someone into the general session on a wire like peter pan" . I am definitely the "rule maker" and no sayer in our office, but only because if I didn't NOTHING would actually get done!!!!!!!!!!! It is a hard balance to not be seen as the wet blanket who just says no to everything, but I do try to always temper my no with a "well that might be challenging, but what if we did X"

[Anonymous]

YES. Sometimes I feel like nobody ever pushes back at my company - they just say yes to everything, regardless of whether it actually needs to be done, if it has already been done or if it's a stupid idea in the first place.

My boss gets annoyed at me when he gives me an assignment and I ask him (a) when it's due and (b) who is going to see it. He thinks everything should be done immediately, regardless of what else gets pushed back to make that happen, and I prefer to prioritize my workload based on when things are actually due and who is expecting them. He rushes me on stuff and ends up sitting on it for 2 days, while other people are waiting on things I had to put aside to rush his stuff. He's surrounded by yes-men that just do whatever he asks.

At other jobs, I've gotten tired of having to be the one to do realistic cost-benefit analysis on stuff. "Sure, that's a great idea, but if it costs $2M to implement and nobody buys it, we're out $2M. Does the market actually want this product?"

[Anonymous]

Damn this article is right on the nose. I call myself the no fun police at work all the time because I work in a corporate environment that has a lot of governance rules with a bunch of guys that like to think of themselves as cowboys operating in a lawless corporate wild west. Unfortunately, someone has to keep their eye on the bottom line and manage the risk to the company and that role falls to me.

I'm always the one reminding them that this isn't the Larlo Smith sole proprietorship and they have to think of what's best for the company and follow the rules (which, btw, were put in place due some incredible damage done by another dude who liked to act like a freakin cowboy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a fantastic article! I am surrounded by creative idea people, and I'm the one who has to implement all the craziness, so I spend a lot of time saying things like "no, as cool as it would be, we can't actually fly someone into the general session on a wire like peter pan" . I am definitely the "rule maker" and no sayer in our office, but only because if I didn't NOTHING would actually get done!!!!!!!!!!! It is a hard balance to not be seen as the wet blanket who just says no to everything, but I do try to always temper my no with a "well that might be challenging, but what if we did X"

Dang you! I want to see people fly into the general session on a wire like Peter Pan.

But yeah, I've had to be that voice, too.

[Anonymous]

I'm the no-woman with a bunch of dippy women. Not fun.

[Anonymous]

Isn't this true for many arenas of life though? Often the husband is the big dreamer of what the family aught to do, and the wife is the one reminding everyone that homework is important, we can't exceed X hrs on our childcare contract, etc etc etc.

In my current job, thankfully I don't have too many "creative geniuses" - though I have in the past - but I do have male colleagues who know the rules, don't play by them, and then complain that processes get bogged down because the rules weren't followed.

[Anonymous]

Tell those folks that the world is waiting for their great entrepreneurial gifts.

[Anonymous]

I read this article and had a pretty different reaction, I think. It made me think that women need to NOT say no -- have some crazy ideas, reach for the stars, let a few bad things happen.

If you don't like being the No Police, then stop. Unless it is specifically your job, just stop doing it. See what happens. I bet someone else will step up, or maybe someone will learn a hard lesson.

If you're doing a behavior over and over and hating it/not gaining from it, how is that anyone's fault but your own? I agree that there is rampant sexism in our society and inequality, but I think women have to take some responsibility, too.