Anyone stop cooking for teen?

[Anonymous]

Just curious is all. I have a friend that no longer cooks or purchases groceries for her teen DD. The teen has a job now so she buys her own groceries. She doesn't object to mom eating them, since her mom doesn't buy groceries for the family any longer. Before she completely stopped cooking, her DD had to practically beg her to cook. I guess DD gave up and does it on her own. BTW, teen is a decent cook. Trying to MOB but I feel bad. Should I just ask the mom why? I've offered the teen dinner before when she is only eating cereal or cookies for dinner, most times she accepts. Should I just plan to include her when cooking dinner. Normally, I cook just enough for my DD.

[Anonymous]

You might not know the whole story.

My DD (now 18) at 15-16 started some crazy restrictive eating habits - only eats chicken, very picky, etc. I still paid for groceries, but I stopped catering to her picky taste - I wasn't going to eat chicken 7 days a week. She was free to make herself eggs, etc, but I didn't view cooking exclusively to her taste my responsibility. I did still make a nightly dinner.

If you'd heard a reporting from her on the food situation, she would have way dramatized it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might not know the whole story.

My DD (now 18) at 15-16 started some crazy restrictive eating habits - only eats chicken, very picky, etc. I still paid for groceries, but I stopped catering to her picky taste - I wasn't going to eat chicken 7 days a week. She was free to make herself eggs, etc, but I didn't view cooking exclusively to her taste my responsibility. I did still make a nightly dinner.

If you'd heard a reporting from her on the food situation, she would have way dramatized it.

Thanks, but they live with me, so it's nothing like that.

[Anonymous]

They live with you?! Then yes, go ahead and make food for her. Why wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are trying to eat really healthy, no carbs, etc. Our daughter is really angry that we're not purchasing junk food anymore. She basically refuses to eat what we are cooking and so, yes, she makes her own food a lot. Think mac and cheese. Not an ideal solution but it's pretty hard to force a 16 year old to clean their plate.

[Anonymous]

Of course you should cook for her! LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are trying to eat really healthy, no carbs, etc. Our daughter is really angry that we're not purchasing junk food anymore. She basically refuses to eat what we are cooking and so, yes, she makes her own food a lot. Think mac and cheese. Not an ideal solution but it's pretty hard to force a 16 year old to clean their plate.

You're the crazy one. Your growing teen NEEDS a full nutritional meal, and that includes some carbs. Nobody's telling you how to eat (you may be obese and cutting carbs may be the only solution), but I'm sure your teenager is not in such dire straits. You are not being a good parent here. Shame on you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You might not know the whole story.

My DD (now 18) at 15-16 started some crazy restrictive eating habits - only eats chicken, very picky, etc. I still paid for groceries, but I stopped catering to her picky taste - I wasn't going to eat chicken 7 days a week. She was free to make herself eggs, etc, but I didn't view cooking exclusively to her taste my responsibility. I did still make a nightly dinner.

If you'd heard a reporting from her on the food situation, she would have way dramatized it.

Thanks, but they live with me, so it's nothing like that.

That's an interesting detail to drop in. I suspect there's a lot more going on in this situation that's not been shared either. What is your understanding of why the mom has stopped cooking or buying groceries? What does mom eat? Since you live together, I'm sure you have at least some inkling of this.

[Anonymous]

Yes, cook enough that you can offer her some. It's very unusual for parents not to provide food for their teens--be a nurturing adult for her.

[Anonymous]

A parent is legally required to provide food, clothing and shelter. For that mom to not provide food is illegal.

[Anonymous]

I think it's great that she knows how to cook already.

[Anonymous]

i wouldnt let mom eat my groceries if she wouldnt buy any too

[Anonymous]

My mom barely cooked once I was a teen. It was just me and my older brother at home. It don't recall it bothering me and if I asked her to make something in particular she might. What I do remember as a teen girl is always being on some sort of diet and not likely to have eaten the meals my mom made anyway or just pick at them. I remember lots of trips to the salad bar at Giant for dinner back then.

[Anonymous]

I had a moment last night where I announced I wasn't cooking anymore for anyone (I'm the last one home and everyone else in the house is now perfectly capable...I was hangry and we ate at 9 because that's when the food was ready).

This sounds kind of different. Go ahead and include her if you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom barely cooked once I was a teen. It was just me and my older brother at home. It don't recall it bothering me and if I asked her to make something in particular she might. What I do remember as a teen girl is always being on some sort of diet and not likely to have eaten the meals my mom made anyway or just pick at them. I remember lots of trips to the salad bar at Giant for dinner back then.

OP here. PP, was there a reason that she stopped cooking? I'm not sure if it bothers the DD, I think she is so use to doing everything on her own, that she just accepts it. The last time that I recall her asking her mother to cook, her mom made such a big deal about it (she didn't want to get off of FB). It was sad actually.

A few months ago, I did ask the mom why she stopped cooking and she said "I do cook", so I said "really, I never see you cooking. I'm the 1st one home and I stay in the kitchen/dining room until I go to bed, so I would see her cooking, and then she gave me some excuse about me being in the kitchen cooking. I was like, "so what, there is plenty of space for both of us to cook meals for our families." Oh well.

Anyway, I will just start cooking extra food so her DD can eat, especially when her mom hasn't provided groceries.