Do the project on your own or with friends

[Anonymous]

DS is in es. He has a project to do. He can do it on his own or with friends.
His good friend asked several times to do it with him together, but he prefered to do it by himself.
I asked him the reason. Basically he is concerned about the potential conflict and
Fight/argument with the friend if they do it together. His friend is kind of strong-willed.
I was trying to explained to him, that most of the time people has to work in a team to get
Thing done, this is a good opportunity for him to learn how to solve conflict if there's one.

I also think it's his concern, maybe not going to happen, he doesn't need to upset his friend on something
Which is not serious(this project is optional)

What do you think? Encourage him to do it with his friend or just let him do by himself?

Thanks for any inputs!

[Anonymous]

Let him make his own choice, OP. Why are you micromanaging this? It feels from the tone of your post that you are going to undermine whatever choice he makes. Uggg. The whole idea of the project is HE DECIDES. NOT YOU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him make his own choice, OP. Why are you micromanaging this? It feels from the tone of your post that you are going to undermine whatever choice he makes. Uggg. The whole idea of the project is HE DECIDES. NOT YOU.

+1
Your son sounds like he has it all figured out. I agree with him about group projects!

[Anonymous]

Omg. Let you kid do it on his own.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you have a very smart little by on your hands. Most people never figure out that keeping work and friends as separate things is almost always a good idea.

Maybe he has done in class stuff with his friend before and it's not been a good experience for him.

He will have plenty of opportunity to learn conflict resolution in the hundreds of group projects he'll be forced into during his entire education. It's his choice this time- let him make it.

[Anonymous]

You have an awesome and perceptive kid on your hands. He was able to suss out that working with someone who is very strong-willed, even if he is a friend, is not the way to go.
Also, solo projects are easier on mom and dad because it is on your own time with no meetups and snacks and stupid arguments.

[Anonymous]

Let your kid lead on this.

My kid had a group project with a very good friend that he picked to work with. What he didn't know when the agreed to work together was that his mom was one of those that REALLY liked to "help" on projects. A lot. We are very hands off with school work and projects so for our kid having a mom involved took away the fun and pride of the assignment.

The next time a group project happened, he worked with someone else, even though he and his buddy were very compatible.

Part of learning how to work in a group is learning who you can't work with.

Good for your son for figuring this out on his own without damaging a friendship.

[Anonymous]

If I could've done all projects on my own, I would have because, yes, there's conflict, there's always that one or two people that don't do their share. Time enough for your DS to experience all this as he gets older. You are overly invested. Leave him alone. It's find to talk to him about options, but you seem way more invested in it than you should be.

[Anonymous]

i agree with your son. Sounds like he has a well thought out justification for why he wants to work alone. If that is an option offered by the teacher then I'd let it be.

[Anonymous]

OP's son sounds smart! Did you ever do projects in school with other kids OP? It was the WORST, and no, it does not teach you skills you will need later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is in es. He has a project to do. He can do it on his own or with friends.
His good friend asked several times to do it with him together, but he prefered to do it by himself.
I asked him the reason. Basically he is concerned about the potential conflict and
Fight/argument with the friend if they do it together. His friend is kind of strong-willed.
I was trying to explained to him, that most of the time people has to work in a team to get
Thing done, this is a good opportunity for him to learn how to solve conflict if there's one.

I also think it's his concern, maybe not going to happen, he doesn't need to upset his friend on something
Which is not serious(this project is optional)

What do you think? Encourage him to do it with his friend or just let him do by himself?

Thanks for any inputs!

I think the reason your son gave was well thought out. Leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

op here. Thanks for all the advices!

I was going to leave it alone, then get asked by the boy's mom directly.
I was under "pressure".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op here. Thanks for all the advices!

I was going to leave it alone, then get asked by the boy's mom directly.
I was under "pressure".

So her going to let other parents bully you into decisions other than respecting your son's (amazingly intelligent and sensible) decision?

"Under the teachers instructions, we let little Larlo make the decision that he felt was best for him. I appreciate the boys at friends, but it really has nothing to do with this decision. Thanks for talking to me about it."

[Anonymous]

I can completely see the point stated in the posts above. But what about helping each other??
Do we not consider helping friends when they need anymore?
In the future op's ds may need help from his friend too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can completely see the point stated in the posts above. But what about helping each other??
Do we not consider helping friends when they need anymore?
In the future op's ds may need help from his friend too.

The kid can still help his friends. You've totally missed the point.