Distracting yourself from infertility with new hobbies/activities

[Anonymous]

I find that I ruminate on my infertility a lot--several hours a day. I worry about it and just ruminate over how my fertility could have gone away so quickly. I feel like I need something new and different to take my mind off things--since it's probably going to be a long journey with infertility treatments. Just wondering if anyone else has done this--gotten involved in something new and different (hobby/activity)?

[Anonymous]

If you're the same PP from about 20 other threads (one kid, no support network, declined offers of support network, DOR diagnosis, not doing IVF), I affectionately agree, . FWIW, I always did things I needed to do before allowing my brain to go there. For example, no more worrying about IF until I read these three books and finish knitting a pair of socks. It was like a challenge for myself and let me focus on things that made me happy. If you have a kid already, you can spend AGES on stuff centered on him or her (scrapbooks, learning activities, crafts).

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I hear you. I spent so much time researching things (even after the fact when nothing can be done), reading all manner of infertility boards, SART data, buying supplements and other crap on Amazon...

Anyway, in the past few months I have started reading A LOT. Fiction, for the most part. Other hobbies allow my mind to wander, even watching TV, but I've found reading to be the one thing that really takes my mind off of the present situation. Of course, it may not be for you. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

[Anonymous]

OP, how far are you into the process. I found after my 1st failed IVF I was super angry and resentful, thinking about this all the time. I literally fumed all summer last year, but also did a lot of research, got 2nd, 3rd and 4th opinions and extra testing. From the moment I started 2nd round I felt better - just going through the steps mechanically, but very detached emotionally. I think the novelty of frustration just wore off.

[Anonymous]

I'm totally on the same page - stressed about infertility issues, and then even more stressed because I don't feel like I can focus on some of the physical activities that normally help me to de-stress. For example, I can't play my favorite sport while going through IVF, so I don't want to sign up with a team for a season, knowing that I'd probably have to sit out (leaving them short a player), while going through treatment. So, I decided that I'd learn to play the violin. Signed up for lessons, and so far, I REALLY love it ( though I'm still very squeaky). It's been helping with all of the infertility related stress and depression.

[Anonymous]

I have been doing IVF for almost 3 years now and have a friend just starting. She was beating herself up for being 'obsessive' about IF and spending too much time talking about it and thinking about it.

I say, think about it all you want. It's hard enough--why then beat yourself up for feeling what are pretty natural emotions?? Do we tell people with other non life threatening chronic illnesses (ie Asthma, diabetes, etc) to just let it go? It's OK to be upset, do online research, talk about it. Yes it's also healthy to draw some boundaries, invest in productive hobbies, but don't beat yourself up because you spend a few hours a day looking online for hope or solutions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been doing IVF for almost 3 years now and have a friend just starting. She was beating herself up for being 'obsessive' about IF and spending too much time talking about it and thinking about it.

I say, think about it all you want. It's hard enough--why then beat yourself up for feeling what are pretty natural emotions?? Do we tell people with other non life threatening chronic illnesses (ie Asthma, diabetes, etc) to just let it go? It's OK to be upset, do online research, talk about it. Yes it's also healthy to draw some boundaries, invest in productive hobbies, but don't beat yourself up because you spend a few hours a day looking online for hope or solutions.

Not OP, but thanks for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been doing IVF for almost 3 years now and have a friend just starting. She was beating herself up for being 'obsessive' about IF and spending too much time talking about it and thinking about it.

I say, think about it all you want. It's hard enough--why then beat yourself up for feeling what are pretty natural emotions?? Do we tell people with other non life threatening chronic illnesses (ie Asthma, diabetes, etc) to just let it go? It's OK to be upset, do online research, talk about it. Yes it's also healthy to draw some boundaries, invest in productive hobbies, but don't beat yourself up because you spend a few hours a day looking online for hope or solutions.

This is a great point, thanks for bringing it up!

OP, I haven't been very good about picking up hobbies. I have my usual exercise stuff and reading and that's about it. I've tried some crafty stuff and wasn't very good at it, but if you can knit or sew or something, that would fill a lot of time. Leading up to my last FET, I did try to do one "self care" thing each weekend, like a pedicure or a massage or whatever, and that was nice!