When both spouses are depressed/anxious

[Anonymous]

My DH and I have been going through a lot of changes lately, including living in different cities from one another and our toddler, temporarily for work. We will be relocating once again in the near future, and all living together again, however this move is bringing about 1)Less income 2)Loss of friends and family for support 3)Loss of job/identity for me 4)Obviously changes for our child.

I started having panic attacks about 6 months ago out of the blue. DH has been depressed for a long time, in theory because of his old job. The hope is that this new job will be such better hours, and subject matter that he will be able to have a better work/life balance. While I'm hopeful for putting this period behind us, I'm also anxious that both of us are so tightly wound, not sleeping due to stress, etc...that our coping skills are shot, and we are not really able to help each other as well as we want to because we are 1)parents 2)both pulling from an empty well.

Advice?

[Anonymous]

Go to your respective doctors--or find ones--and talk about what is going on. Find a counselor. Do what you can to give yourself a break--be sure you get adequate food and sleep. Do things that are fun with your kid, things that make you both feel happy.

Set goals on the calendar--when you will be in the same place, that you're going to take your kid to her favorite playground this weekend, etc.

Make lists. Break things down.

But start with the doctor about the panic attacks. And DH about the depression.