would you let your kids go inside neighbor's house without you?

[Anonymous]

DH's mom helps watch our kids sometimes. 2 girls 3.5 and 6. When they go to MIL's house, they play with the neighbor's kids a few doors down. I've never spoken to the parents but Mil knows them apparently and dh has seen them. I'm sure they are nice. They have twins: 8 years old girls. So when mil watches the kids sometimes, she lets them go to the neighbors house to play with the twins. I heard from my eldest that she went to play inside the house and not just the yard. Mil does not go in the house but is at her own home presumably taking a breather.

Personally I am very uncomfortable by this, especially if it means the younger one might go inside the neighbor's house as well. Putting our youngest daughter aside, is it unreasonable for me to ask mil to NOT allow our kids to go inside the neighbors house? Yard play is ok, but not inside. I worry mil will think I am overreacting and don't trust her judgment of her own neighbors. Also she is doing us a favor by watching our girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH's mom helps watch our kids sometimes. 2 girls 3.5 and 6. When they go to MIL's house, they play with the neighbor's kids a few doors down. I've never spoken to the parents but Mil knows them apparently and dh has seen them. I'm sure they are nice. They have twins: 8 years old girls. So when mil watches the kids sometimes, she lets them go to the neighbors house to play with the twins. I heard from my eldest that she went to play inside the house and not just the yard. Mil does not go in the house but is at her own home presumably taking a breather.

Personally I am very uncomfortable by this, especially if it means the younger one might go inside the neighbor's house as well. Putting our youngest daughter aside, is it unreasonable for me to ask mil to NOT allow our kids to go inside the neighbors house? Yard play is ok, but not inside. I worry mil will think I am overreacting and don't trust her judgment of her own neighbors. Also she is doing us a favor by watching our girls.

Why?

[Anonymous]

If I (or the adult I trusted to watch my child) trusted the neighbors, then yes.

The problem I see is that 8 year olds need far less supervision than 3.5 year olds, but it's easy to forget how much supervision they need. So I'd worry that either the 3.5 year old isn't being supervised properly or that it's an imposition.

Can you go talk to the neighbor yourself when you pick up your kids?

[Anonymous]

If your MIL knows them, I would trust her judgment. I would feel uncomfortable letting a 3.5yo out to play in the yard or someone's house alone.

I have a 4.5yo and 6.5yo. I would let my 6yo go to a neighbor's house. We live in a safe neighborhood and I trust the ones we know. If the neighbor was creepy or I felt my child would be unsafe, I obviously would not want my child to play there.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I would and have.
If your worry is because you don't know these neughvors, why not try to get to know them? Stop by and hang out outside MIL house with your kids. Invite them over to your house sometime because your kids like playing with theirs. Be friendly. Get to know them.
And if you do t trust your mil with this, don't let her watch your kids.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for your response. Interesting to read because I am very uncomfortable letting my oldest go over. The neighbors are strangers to me. To be honest, I don't trust mil's judgment. She is a bit lax and semi naive sometimes and I lean the other way. Not saying I'm right, just much more cautious generally. I just don't understand why mil can't have the kids play outside only and keep an eye on them?

[Anonymous]

I would not be ok with this if I didn't know them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for your response. Interesting to read because I am very uncomfortable letting my oldest go over. The neighbors are strangers to me. To be honest, I don't trust mil's judgment. She is a bit lax and semi naive sometimes and I lean the other way. Not saying I'm right, just much more cautious generally. I just don't understand why mil can't have the kids play outside only and keep an eye on them?

I'd be more comfortable with a "lax and semi naive" person watching my 3.5 year old inside, then outside by the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for your response. Interesting to read because I am very uncomfortable letting my oldest go over. The neighbors are strangers to me. To be honest, I don't trust mil's judgment. She is a bit lax and semi naive sometimes and I lean the other way. Not saying I'm right, just much more cautious generally. I just don't understand why mil can't have the kids play outside only and keep an eye on them?

No, I wouldn't let them go in the neighbor's house. But... I also wouldn't let someone I considered "lax and semi naive" take care of my children.

[Anonymous]

I would be okay with it, but not for a 3.5 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for your response. Interesting to read because I am very uncomfortable letting my oldest go over. The neighbors are strangers to me. To be honest, I don't trust mil's judgment. She is a bit lax and semi naive sometimes and I lean the other way. Not saying I'm right, just much more cautious generally. I just don't understand why mil can't have the kids play outside only and keep an eye on them?

That's the issue. Not whether the kids go inside the house or stay in the yard. The issue is that you don't trust the judgment of the person who is watching your children. I think that you should focus on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for your response. Interesting to read because I am very uncomfortable letting my oldest go over. The neighbors are strangers to me. To be honest, I don't trust mil's judgment. She is a bit lax and semi naive sometimes and I lean the other way. Not saying I'm right, just much more cautious generally. I just don't understand why mil can't have the kids play outside only and keep an eye on them?

That's the issue. Not whether the kids go inside the house or stay in the yard. The issue is that you don't trust the judgment of the person who is watching your children. I think that you should focus on that.

Op here. Yes, I admit I don't trust her judgment on certain issues. I do trust that she will keep the kids safe when at her home. Outside of the home? Not so much. She's proven to be easily distracted and a bit absent minded. When the kids were babies we didn't let her babysit much. having said all that, we are from California and don't have any other family in the area. We can't be too picky; hence my dilemma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for your response. Interesting to read because I am very uncomfortable letting my oldest go over. The neighbors are strangers to me. To be honest, I don't trust mil's judgment. She is a bit lax and semi naive sometimes and I lean the other way. Not saying I'm right, just much more cautious generally. I just don't understand why mil can't have the kids play outside only and keep an eye on them?

That's the issue. Not whether the kids go inside the house or stay in the yard. The issue is that you don't trust the judgment of the person who is watching your children. I think that you should focus on that.

This. If you don't trust your MIL your kids shouldn't be at her neighbor's house OR at her own house.

[Anonymous]

I would not. They are strangers to you. I wouldn't let my kids into a strangers house.

[Anonymous]

3.5 year old no, older child maybe but its not something I would probably do.