immigrant/minority parents - does a school's student demographics affect your decision?

[Anonymous]

immigrant/minority parents - if you had a choice between a couple of public schools (for kindergarten) and they had significantly different student demographics, would you...

- send your (American born) child to the one with higher # of students with your own race, so that in theory they feel more comfortable with themselves down the road; or
- send your child to another school with less 'diversity' but higher academic reputations to (in theory again) better prepare them for tougher competitions in the future; or
- this wouldn't factor at all in your decision.

non-immigrant/minority parents please also chime in and share your thoughts/experience.

TIA!

[Anonymous]

The best shool would have a good mix of everything.

[Anonymous]

The dumb kids drag down the smart kids. Be careful.

"The best shool would have a good mix of everything." Do you mean shul? LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dumb kids drag down the smart kids. Be careful.

"The best shool would have a good mix of everything." Do you mean shul? LOL!

OP here - you probably couldn't care less but this is a sincere question. Sign.

[Anonymous]

Less diversity, better academics, hands down.

I was one of only a handful of minority kids from K through high school, and I had no problem with it. Of course, YMMV.

[Anonymous]

It depends what the options really are. A school with great academics/test scores that is 90% or more white will only have 1 or 2 kids of color per kindergarten class. Been there, done that, not doing it to my child. OTOH, a school where 90+% of kids look like my kid, but with very bad academics is not acceptable either. I chose an area with a happy medium. Fairly diverse school body, though still majority white, plus pretty solid, if not stellar academics. DH and I both felt fairly isolated growing up (different places). We got good educations, but our self-esteem took a big hit in elementary school. My HS was more diverse, but my AP classes were mostly white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends what the options really are. A school with great academics/test scores that is 90% or more white will only have 1 or 2 kids of color per kindergarten class. Been there, done that, not doing it to my child. OTOH, a school where 90+% of kids look like my kid, but with very bad academics is not acceptable either. I chose an area with a happy medium. Fairly diverse school body, though still majority white, plus pretty solid, if not stellar academics. DH and I both felt fairly isolated growing up (different places). We got good educations, but our self-esteem took a big hit in elementary school. My HS was more diverse, but my AP classes were mostly white.

I went to a school for a few years in DC where I was the only white kid and it felt quite bizarre--not in a good way. I felt isolated as well. That being said--I think times have changed. Children seem to truly be more open and accepting than when I was a child. Still, not a big fan of being the 'only one'. Especially if the school does not make a conscious effort to provide windows and mirrors (windows to other cultures and mirrors to your own) in everything from decor to language used.

[Anonymous]

OP, I will be in a similar situation in a few years and am not looking forward to that decision. DH went to a school where he was one of the only students of color and at times felt like he didn't fit in. His parents just had to make the extra effort to teach him about his heritage. I actually went to a very diverse school. I thought it was fantastic in the early years when all of the kids were grouped together. As I got older I was on an academic track where I was unfortunately sometimes the only minority in my classes. So I had trouble fitting in with the white kids and the minority kids (which I think was even worse...)

Of the choices you listed, I would choose academics first -- and then go out of my way to introduce DC to their culture like my husband's parents did.


But I agree with a pp, if you can find a solid school with some diversity, go for it! (and tell me where it is )

[Anonymous]

I wonder to what degree answers are shaped by race/ethnicity and gender. I'm Asian and female and my children are half-Asian and female and thus will find it easier, I think, to fit in in a majority-white school (although one looks more white and the other looks more Asian, so even their experiences may differ).

[Anonymous]

OP, I know a lot of people who went to predominantly white schools who are minorities, and some of them are a bit messed up. Two extremely so, well into their 40's. The emotional damage can be severe.

Something to consider. There was an article that I read a few years ago that said that there are two places that black children do well academically: Private schools, and all black schools (there are no such combination schools in the area). They pointed out that in all black public schools, kids align themselves differently than when they are the minority, they tend to form the normal cliques, and there is the geek studious group that does quite well. That does not mean that the majority of kids are in that group, but the ones that are in that clique tend to do well. Of course there is no telling what crowd your child will hang with.

[Anonymous]

I can really tell I'm living in DC when I see this post and it makes me feel a little nauseous. Why does one preclude the other? As if there are not schools with both...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can really tell I'm living in DC when I see this post and it makes me feel a little nauseous. Why does one preclude the other? As if there are not schools with both...

Sadly, there are too few schools with both. In DCPS, the top 10 elementary schools are somewhat homogeneous, with the exception of Oyster. In DC, which is a majority-black city, the black residents are for the most part worse off than the white and Asian residents, and live in low-performing school districts and can't afford private.

The private schools make an effort at diversity but that is difficult due to tuition and other factors-- including black middle class people going to Howard County and PG.

At the charter schools, specialized DCPS, and a couple of high schools (Wilson, Walls), there is a balance of diversity and excellence. But these are the standouts.

And it's not because DC is the worst place on the planet, really. Everywhere I've ever lived in the U.S.-- with the exception of Cambridge, MA-- had similar issues.

We wanted a balance of diversity and high performance and bought in boundaries for Oyster. The housing prices there are very high and there are hundreds of kids on the OOB wait list. It's tough out there; I hope that the charter movement and school reforms will generate more and better choices.

[Anonymous]

We adopted our son and he's Latino. It was hands-down in favor of the diverse school (and there really was no academic cost). We're in Arlington and he goes to a dual-immersion school. The test scores are lower and there are NCLB issues because of the number of English-learners but the teachers are dedicated and the academics are great.

As a white parent, I am so glad DS does not go to our neighborhood, virtually all white school in North Arlington. He would have stood out so much in that school. Although we know a decent amount about his birth culture and do a good amount of cultural activities, we're not "authentic conveyors" of that culture, nor can we be. So, school is helping in that respect too.

I can also say that, these days, it actually feels like something's wrong when we're in an all-white environment. I feel weirded out (b-day parties of some of our son's friends from outside of school, for example). If I got this feeling as a white parent who lived a fairly white life prior to adoption, I cannot imagine what the world would have seemed like to our son had he gone to a virtually all-white school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know a lot of people who went to predominantly white schools who are minorities, and some of them are a bit messed up. Two extremely so, well into their 40's. The emotional damage can be severe.

Something to consider. There was an article that I read a few years ago that said that there are two places that black children do well academically: Private schools, and all black schools (there are no such combination schools in the area). They pointed out that in all black public schools, kids align themselves differently than when they are the minority, they tend to form the normal cliques, and there is the geek studious group that does quite well. That does not mean that the majority of kids are in that group, but the ones that are in that clique tend to do well. Of course there is no telling what crowd your child will hang with.

PP, these "a bit messed up" people who attended predominantly white schools 25+ years ago probably had fewer coping mechanisms in place to get them through.

I agree that children feel more comfortable and are probably happier in academic environments where they don't feel chronically "different." For our family, it's a priority that the school has a rigorous academic program. Diversity comes second. Our neighborhood is extremely diverse, as well as, friendships outside of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends what the options really are. A school with great academics/test scores that is 90% or more white will only have 1 or 2 kids of color per kindergarten class. Been there, done that, not doing it to my child. OTOH, a school where 90+% of kids look like my kid, but with very bad academics is not acceptable either. I chose an area with a happy medium. Fairly diverse school body, though still majority white, plus pretty solid, if not stellar academics. DH and I both felt fairly isolated growing up (different places). We got good educations, but our self-esteem took a big hit in elementary school. My HS was more diverse, but my AP classes were mostly white.

I went to a school for a few years in DC where I was the only white kid and it felt quite bizarre--not in a good way. I felt isolated as well. That being said--I think times have changed. Children seem to truly be more open and accepting than when I was a child. Still, not a big fan of being the 'only one'. Especially if the school does not make a conscious effort to provide windows and mirrors (windows to other cultures and mirrors to your own) in everything from decor to language used.

Windows and mirrors, I've never heard this expression before. Love it! Thanks for sharing.