Divorce - where to start (Virginia)
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Anonymous
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I have been married almost 9 years to my husband. We have two children ages almost 5, 3, and I am pregnant with my third.
I think we are heading towards a divorce, and quickly. He is a raging lunatic who flips out, screams, can't keep cool, embarrasses me with his temper (no physical abuse). Where do I start to at least talk to someone to learn what I need to do, if our relationship ends in divorce, as to how to protect myself, money, primary custody of the children etc. I just looked online and it says if you have kids in the state of VA we have to be seperated for one year. How do you even declare a separation date? And he is the one who said he wants the divorce but I know he won't do it. If I file the paperwork does that hurt me that I INITIATED it? Where do I start? |
Anonymous
| Start with asking how this would impact your little children. |
Anonymous
| I'm not answering your question, I know, but why, only a few months ago, did you allow yourself to get pregnant again by a "raging lunatic"? Regardless, best of luck to you and your kids. |
Anonymous
| Separation means not living like a married couple. This is best done by one of you moving out. That's the date your separation starts. There is nothing to file right now unless you need a support order and custody agreement in place during your separation. Consult an attorney for advice on your particular situation. You have a lot to lose if you make the wrong decisions going forward. |
Anonymous
| The Women's Center in Vienna has expert counseling and offers many free workshops on navigating divorce in VA. I recommend starting there. |
Anonymous
| If I recall from my law school days, it's actually 6 months in Virginia for cause and 1 year for no cause to get a divorce. Because of the abuse, you could get the divorce finalized in 6 months. You should look into these resources posted above, or contact local law schools (George Mason, George Washington, American, Catholic, Georgetown) and ask if they have any legal clinics. They may be able to provide low-cost resources for you to start thinking about your options. |
Anonymous
The first sentence in the above is correct. The second is not. Separation starts from the last time you shared a bed. You can sleep on the couch for a year and be separated. My ex husband filed an affidavit stating we hadn't slept together in a year (forget the legal term for this!) and voila, that was the date of separation. Talk to the Women's Center or a private attorney. There are a lot of state laws and rules that any family law attorney will know. There's a formula to determine child support, for example. Good luck OP. |
Anonymous
Nope, not at all. There is NO WAITING PERIOD in VA to file for an at fault divorce. These divorces can often take longer and cost exorbitant amounts of money. My no fault divorce just cost me about $3K for zero issues. We agreed on everything. Took exactly 13 months. When I consulted about filing for cause the attorney's asked for a $7K retainer to begin and advised that it had a high burden of proof and could take longer than the 13 months I would be looking at for no fault. |
Anonymous
You're technically wrong, although some judges will look the other way. It's not enough to not have sex, you have to be truly living separately. You can do that under the same roof, but you have to also not share meals, resources, etc. |
Anonymous
The 6-month and 12-month waiting periods are both for no-fault divorces. If you have no kids, it's 6-months; with kids, it's 12 months. Also, not all fault-based divorces get you out of the waiting period. Adultery does, but requires a tremendous amount of proof, and there are a whole bunch of defenses that can be used to defeat it (e.g., if you slept with your spouse after learning about the affair, even just once, you may be deemed to have condoned the adultery and can no longer use it as a cause for divorce). Cruelty and desertion still require a one-year waiting period from the desertion/incident of cruelty. |
Anonymous
| Wow. Glad I don't live in VA. Talk about some archaic and puritanical laws !!! |
Anonymous
MD is worse, 1 year for a no fault regardless of kids or not. |
CarolGuerra
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I think you should have a proper communication.As you already have two children and you are pregnant.Its not so easy to live alive after divorce.Legal activities have to be take after thinking and having a proper discussion.If you problem is still now solved you must appoint a family law lawyer Centreville, VA who will guide you and help you to take proper decision.
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Anonymous
The law recently changed. This is no longer true. |
Anonymous
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Divorce 101: Information, Strategies and Tips The Women's Center Thursday, February 18, 2016 from 10:30 AM to 1:30 PM (EST) Vienna, VA single tickets for this workshop are $40 http://www.eventbrite.com/e/divorce-102-information-strategies-and-tips-tickets-19998359632 List of their other workshops relating to Separation and Divorce in Virginia: http://thewomenscenter.org/education-2/ The Smart Split: What You Need to Know About the Legal Aspects of Separation & Divorce Divorce 101: Information Strategies & Tips Divorce 102: Information, Strategies & Tips Reclaiming Your Future: Financial Planning During Separation & Divorce Finding Emotional Strength During Separation & Divorce (6 Weeks) |