Do you have a good relationship with your siblings with a significant age difference?

[Anonymous]

I am almost 2 decades older than my late tween and early teenage siblings, one boy and girl. I love them to pieces. My oldest sibling is 4 years younger than I and we're pretty close, we communicate almost daily. I mentioned that I wanted to have a stronger relationship with them to a family member who replied that I'm an adult, so I shouldn't expect to be close to them. Obviously I am aware that we may not be as close as my oldest sister, but I can't imagine not having a good relationship with them. Have any of you experienced a similar situation? How did you handle it?

[Anonymous]

My DH is 14 and 17 years younger than his siblings. (My DH was my MIL's mid-life crisis.) My DH and his siblings have always been close and gotten along well. As a teenager my husband often traveled both with and without his parents to visit his siblings. I don't see anything wrong with older siblings having a relationship with significantly younger siblings. Are you full siblings or half siblings? I could see it being a little more complicated if you are half-siblings.

[Anonymous]

We're half siblings, which I agree complicates the issue. But we spend as much time as possible together while I'm home for holidays and other times.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't you have a close relationship with them? It's all about getting to know them as they grow, and knowing what makes them tick. Being perceptive and sensitive to others.

I know it's perhaps not the same thing, but my husband and I have a 19 year difference, which means that his parents are not the same age as mine, his siblings are not the same age as mine, his nieces and nephews are young adults. Nobody in his family is my age, and guess what? I love them all and we are close. Age doesn't really matter, it's your attitude.

[Anonymous]

9 years apart and nothing in common. Sometimes I think I have more in common with strangers. I remember her being a baby and toddler well but she doesn't remember when I lived at home much. She doesn't visit me and we see each other maybe every other year now when we're at grandparents.

[Anonymous]

I am closer to my siblings who are much older and much younger than me than the one who is more traditionally spaced. Zero sibling rivalry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 years apart and nothing in common. Sometimes I think I have more in common with strangers. I remember her being a baby and toddler well but she doesn't remember when I lived at home much. She doesn't visit me and we see each other maybe every other year now when we're at grandparents.

DH is 9 years older than his site and they are pretty close even though they have different personalitis and different tastes. I think it's been easier for them to relate now that they are both adults

[Anonymous]

I have half siblings who are early-mid 20s and, frankly, they are really self absorbed! It's hard to make conversation and build closeness. I am much closer to my other sibling who is near my age. I'm good with it.

[Anonymous]

brother that is 12 years younger- than me--- YES!!!
brother that is 4 years younger than me---not really

[Anonymous]

I'm very close to my brother who is 9 years older than I am.

[Anonymous]

I am close to my only sibling - a sister who is 10-1/2 years older than me. We were pretty much raised separately - she was out of the house when I was coming of age - but became very close as adults, especially after her child was born. We are not remotely alike, so there was no competition, so I think that actually contributed to our closeness.

[Anonymous]

I am close to my brother who is 10 years younger. I always felt more like a second mom than a sibling, since I've done tons of babysitting and was even required to take him to dates with my first boyfriend. Our relationship soured a little when he got older and started complaining that he wished he had a sibling, not another adult in his life (I refused to buy him alcohol). He is in his 20s now, and although often voices the same regrets, I am the first one he calls with his troubles and concerns, he visits often, and adores his nephews.

[Anonymous]

My husband is very close to his sibs, who are 12, 14, 18, and 21 years older than him. I think the relationship is different than they had/have with each other, but it is true closeness.

[Anonymous]

I am very close to my 15 years older sister, a bit less close (but still have a great relationship) with my 19-years older brother, and am not close with my 23 years older sister. Also correlates with personality differences.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 siblings 8-11 years older and am very close with them all, especially my oldest brother who always took a strong interest in us younger kids when we were growing up. Honestly though, what influenced our adult relationship the most is that my mom had an extended battle with cancer when I was in my early 20s and everyone rallied around her and spent a lot of time together. I think there are also opportunities as your siblings move into adulthood and are looking for advice/help with their first home/job/kids. My first real job was in my brother's office, and I had a summer internship with my older sister's company. My brothers also encouraged me in some shared hobbies and bankrolled some activities/trips I couldn't have afforded on my own at that point.