Why do some people become so hyperfocused on religion, race and ethnicity as they age?

[Anonymous]

My parents, who are white, are in their late 60s. Lately, it seems as if they can't suppress comments about these things. For example, we chose to send our DC to a nondenominational preschool. My mother can't stop asking me for the umpteenth time why I couldn't find a nice Catholic preschool for her grandchild. In other conversations, both of my parents can't help themselves when it comes to having to point out race-- oh, a nice Indian family moved into the X family's house down the block. Or, that person who was rude to them was Hispanic. Just a lot of stuff like that. To top it off they've made such comments at my kid's birthday party last year where we had a few families of other races. It's just so damn embarrassing already. What is it with some people? Does the filter just vanish over the years? Do they just become increasingly xenophobic? What gives? I know plenty of older people who are not this way. Do some people just not know how to act?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents, who are white, are in their late 60s. Lately, it seems as if they can't suppress comments about these things. For example, we chose to send our DC to a nondenominational preschool. My mother can't stop asking me for the umpteenth time why I couldn't find a nice Catholic preschool for her grandchild. In other conversations, both of my parents can't help themselves when it comes to having to point out race-- oh, a nice Indian family moved into the X family's house down the block. Or, that person who was rude to them was Hispanic. Just a lot of stuff like that. To top it off they've made such comments at my kid's birthday party last year where we had a few families of other races. It's just so damn embarrassing already. What is it with some people? Does the filter just vanish over the years? Do they just become increasingly xenophobic? What gives? I know plenty of older people who are not this way. Do some people just not know how to act?

Maybe they're spending too much time watching CNN or paying attention to the Democrats. The party’s electoral model is to divide voters along gender ("War on Women!!"), racial and socio-economic lines, and then patch together a majority by stoking grievances against those outside of their groupings. All that class and race division catches up after a while. Oh, and gives us Donald Trump.

[Anonymous]

It's a few things. One is yes, the filter goes away. Two is that they stop working and are not distracted. Their lives become more insular. Anyone not in their circle becomes weird or foreign to them, because their circle has gotten smaller now that they don't have a job that exposes them to all sorts of people.Three is that they're trying to keep their minds sharp, so they think adding descriptors shows they're paying attention to details. That's why it's a nice Hispanic family rather than just a nice family who moved in.

[Anonymous]

I've seen it many times with parents, other relatives, neighbors. Retired people have a LOT of time on their hands to imagine slights, imagine conflicts where there aren't any, etc. They don't get out much and when they do, it's with like-minded friends. Or family - as you can attest. Their world shrinks to a tiny fraction of what it once was.

[Anonymous]

My retired parents are super active but my mom has lost her filter. Nothing racist but long rambling stories about those who live in her condo building. She often tells who is sick and who has died. I hate it.

[Anonymous]

A retired family member has become focused on the negative. So where she used to simply say "my neighbor's daughter is stopping by", she'll now follow up with "she had a lot of learning disabilities at a young age and her boyfriend doesn't have a stable job." She's always been an incredibly positive person so it's surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents, who are white, are in their late 60s. Lately, it seems as if they can't suppress comments about these things. For example, we chose to send our DC to a nondenominational preschool. My mother can't stop asking me for the umpteenth time why I couldn't find a nice Catholic preschool for her grandchild. In other conversations, both of my parents can't help themselves when it comes to having to point out race-- oh, a nice Indian family moved into the X family's house down the block. Or, that person who was rude to them was Hispanic. Just a lot of stuff like that. To top it off they've made such comments at my kid's birthday party last year where we had a few families of other races. It's just so damn embarrassing already. What is it with some people? Does the filter just vanish over the years? Do they just become increasingly xenophobic? What gives? I know plenty of older people who are not this way. Do some people just not know how to act?

Maybe they're spending too much time watching CNN or paying attention to the Democrats. The party’s electoral model is to divide voters along gender ("War on Women!!"), racial and socio-economic lines, and then patch together a majority by stoking grievances against those outside of their groupings. All that class and race division catches up after a while. Oh, and gives us Donald Trump.

wait. so we can blame democrats for Donald Trump? good to know lol

[Anonymous]

My dad is like this, despite not being a Republican or consuming any Fox News or talk radio. I think it's because he's so unused to encountering people who aren't white. He's also not a very empathetic person and doesn't grasp how rude he is being. If he can't identify someone's race, he will speculate about it in a whisper. We have had fights about it, as it's so annoying. I feel like I can't take him anywhere in DC!

The thing that weirds him out the most is seeing people of color who are not poor. We live in NE and most of our neighbors are AA, as well as most of my daughter's classmates, and a large proportion of the families we socialize with. This is amazing to him. He once asked me who was the first black person my daughter met-- it was my obstetrician, ha ha.

[Anonymous]

Fear of death. Boredom.

[Anonymous]

Were any of the comments derogatory? If not, you may be too focused on these issues yourself, why your parents don't give it a second thought. There is no shame in being any race, OP. It is no secret that people on Earth are ethnically different, and it is okay to notice that. In fact, pretending being color-blind seems much more embarrassing to me.