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do i get a thank you?
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Anonymous
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Is it possible to encourage your dh to show appreciation for you? If so, how? I feel like I am running around like a chicken all the time, constantly juggling 99 things. I would like more appreciation/acknowledgment from dh for all that I do. Whenever I approach this topic with him, I get the line, "Well we all have responsibilities....."
Maybe I will get a thank you on Mothers Day... Ideas? |
Anonymous
| Try thanking him for things he does--hopefully after a few times he'll get the message and start to reciprocate. When I'm nicer to my husband (which is by no means all of the time), he's nicer to me. |
Anonymous
My husband does thank me for stuff (although of course I want more appreciation).  And he helps out a lot around the house. However, I do pretty regularly discuss with him that we need to model good behavior in front of our kids, including things like eating dinner together every night (he always wanted to eat in front of the TV). So I would probably include saying please and thank you and all that as part of what we model to our children. Could you approach it that way? He probably “does” appreciate what you do, but isn’t good at expressing it (or shy, or whatever).
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Anonymous
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you are setting yourself up for a bad mothers day. watch out!
9:24 has the right idea. |
Anonymous
I think this is great advice! This works wonderfully in any kind of relationship, if your partner or friend has any sense about them. I kinda feel the same was as my first Mother's Day approaches. But then I have to stop myself from these thoughts because I can appreciate myself on Mother's Day and spend Sunday just loving and admiring my beautiful baby.... Then after the awesome Father's Day we are going to have, my husband will understand what it means to be taken care of and appreciated. Then my 2nd Mother's Day will be even better! |
Anonymous
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I found the most helpful thing is to teach my toddler manners. My son now shames my husband into saying "thank you" and "your welcome" The other night, I did something for my husband and my son looked at me and said "mommy, why didn't daddy say "thank you?" It was priceless.
I don't know about thanking your husband thing. I thank my constantly for doing every little thing, and it still took the shame of a toddler to get him to realize he never thanked me back. Well, I mean, I think it is good to thank your husband, I just meant don't expect the same in return. |
Anonymous
Agreed. Just because you thank him, doesn't mean he'll think to thank you. If he does, great. But I wouldn't expect it. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I do try to be mindful and thank him for what he does, and I will continue to do so in hopes that he will reciprocate. I think because I run around doing things that falls in to the “domestic” category, he expects me (on some level) to take care of these things, and they are my “responsibility”. I am just exhausted and thought that if he were more appreciative or gave me positive feedback and acknowledgement maybe I would be able to tackle these tasks with more zing, and maybe even enjoy contributing in the way that I do. Maybe that is flawed thinking. |
Anonymous
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I think you should read the Five Love Languages.
Maybe the way you feel appreciated is by verbal thank you's, and maybe for him, those things just don't mean much and so are not worth stating, in his opinion. Does he show you appreciation in any other ways? Does he actually appreciate you? He might be appreciating you in ways that don't reach your "i'm feeling appreciated" buttons.... But if he doesn't appreciate you altogether, then I don't know that you can force him to. |