Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You all really, really should be room parents. Really. You understand it so much better.

And while I didn’t lay out every detail of the budget, no more is definitely spent on our kids: paper products, drinks, a vegetable or fruit and dessert. It is beyond me that you wouldn’t consider two classroom lunch parties for your elementary school aged kids. Because your job doesn’t allow gifts you think the teacher shouldn’t get them. I had no idea parents felt this way.

This is the person teaching your kid. If you can’t show a small token of appreciation - don’t. Now I get why people don’t contribute.

$4-500 is not a 'small token'.

If it equates to being about 6-7 dollars per family towards a gift for the teacher, it’s a small token.

$ 7 X 25 = 175

We get the math. We also assume most families will get the teacher a small item for the holidays, end of year and teacher appreciation week. Most people would spend $10-$15 for that item. This is less than that. Group gifts are typically more extravagant. I’m guessing you’d be good with 25 kids giving her a single mug and a single ornament.

I'd be better with 25 kids making a holiday craft, or having pencils/paper.

As a gift for the teacher? This is a fifth grade class. They generally don’t make holiday cards or if they do it’s quickly so they can socialize in fifth grade.

No, not for the teacher. Why would the teacher want 25 of the same craft?

Yeah, I used to do craft stations when the kids were younger but I stopped. Not enough funds.

There would be if you didn't spend it all on teacher gifts, which to be honest, are 'from' you, just funded by the class.

If that's what you want to say to justify not giving, that's your opinion. Our teacher gifts are clearly from the class (gift card with picture frame signed by each kid, irrespective of whether their parents contributed). If parents want to give their own gifts to suck up they can do that too.

A lot of people feel that the 'gifts' decided on by room parents are inappropriate. If you want to do separate collections, you might be surprised at how many more people would contribute to a 'class fund' that was actually for the class.

We don't do "gifts" at my school, just gift cards (usually to target) with a small signed object attached (picture frame, soccer ball etc.) so the teacher has each kid's signature associated with the gift. And yes, like the other room mom, I have to take time out of my schedule to get every kid to sign at lunch.

[Anonymous]

Again, have you tried using signup genius for parties and asking for specific items? It seems to work well in other schools, so I can't imagine why it would work so poorly in yours.

[Anonymous]

What I have learned from this topic:

1) Being a Room Mom sucks and the person does not get enough thanks. I did send a thank you note in a email response to my DS Room Mom because, wow does the job suck

2) Different schools/teahers/parents have ideas about what is an acceptable party and if pizza is needed

3) There are different ways to collect funds for parties and room activies. Demanding parents donate a set amount of money is bad.

4) Sign Up Genius is a good way to organize things, even pizza parties. Which most people think are stupid but others really like.

5) Even when Room parents ask for money as needed people are annoyed if there is too much money donated for teacher gifts because that is unacceptable.

6) But please bring in the supplies that the teacher or Room Mom asks for, such as note books and paper towels, even if you don’t want to pay for pizza or a teacher gift.

7) Being a Room Mom really, really sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is the person teaching your kid. If you can’t show a small token of appreciation - don’t. Now I get why people don’t contribute.

Why do you assume that people aren't showing tokens of appreciation? I have my kids make cards for the teacher. We give individual gifts. Just because I don't feel the need for you to be a middleman between myself and the teacher for class gifts doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the teacher. I'm so glad that my kids attend Title I schools, just so we don't have to put up with any of this nonsense. People make cards for teachers and contribute what they can. People sign up for items for parties or volunteer to help with class activities. There's no need for pushy room moms trying to control how everyone contributes.

Op parents can show appreciation without involving you.

Collect what you collect and budget from that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I have learned from this topic:

1) Being a Room Mom sucks and the person does not get enough thanks. I did send a thank you note in a email response to my DS Room Mom because, wow does the job suck

2) Different schools/teahers/parents have ideas about what is an acceptable party and if pizza is needed

3) There are different ways to collect funds for parties and room activies. Demanding parents donate a set amount of money is bad.

4) Sign Up Genius is a good way to organize things, even pizza parties. Which most people think are stupid but others really like.

5) Even when Room parents ask for money as needed people are annoyed if there is too much money donated for teacher gifts because that is unacceptable.

6) But please bring in the supplies that the teacher or Room Mom asks for, such as note books and paper towels, even if you don’t want to pay for pizza or a teacher gift.

7) Being a Room Mom really, really sucks.

8) When a room mom collects for the group gifts, it is really her way of bribing the teacher so the teacher thinks the gift is just from her.

9) Don't do group gifts, we hate them.

10) Do group gifts, it is so much easier for us.

11) I love pizza parties around lunch time.

12) Why do kids need pizza parties? Give them a cupcake on a free papertowel and call it a day.

13) Teachers only need a token gift, and by token I mean something really, really small.

14) Teachers need no gifts. I don't even get to accept $1 where I work as a sign of appreciation.

15) Ask for $2 per family for the gift and call it a day. She certainly doesn't need a gift more than once per year.

16) If you didn't step up and volunteer, keep your mouth shut and go with the flow and be thankful someone else is taking over a job you aren't doing.

17) I'm sick of these pushy room moms who overspend on everything. Ever heard of Signupgenius? Ask for everything to be donated.

18) Don't be a martyr. If you don't have the funds and need to pay for things yourself, tell the teacher no.

19) That's awful parents didn't pony up when asked.

20) I'm sick of being asked to pay for things. If you want to pay for the pizza or notebook, go right ahead. But that's on you.

See how no one sees this the same way? I'm completely baffled I must associate with some of you throughout the year.

[Anonymous]

21. Some people just really need to chill out about class parties.

[Anonymous]

my school had Valentine's Day parties and most of the parents were very generous and brought in lots of food. In fact in some cases there was so much food there was plenty of food left over.

[Anonymous]

+1 to both of the immediate PPs. Some of these room parents need to do a bit of self reflection on whether the root of the problem is that they’re bossy control freaks. Parties and gifts work wonderfully at so many schools without all of this stress. These room parents need to pop a Xanax and learn how to create signup genius accounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both of the immediate PPs. Some of these room parents need to do a bit of self reflection on whether the root of the problem is that they’re bossy control freaks. Parties and gifts work wonderfully at so many schools without all of this stress. These room parents need to pop a Xanax and learn how to create signup genius accounts.

You sound really grounded and seem to know what to do. Step and and volunteer next year!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both of the immediate PPs. Some of these room parents need to do a bit of self reflection on whether the root of the problem is that they’re bossy control freaks. Parties and gifts work wonderfully at so many schools without all of this stress. These room parents need to pop a Xanax and learn how to create signup genius accounts.

You sound really grounded and seem to know what to do. Step and and volunteer next year!

I would, except my kids' schools don't have room parents! Amazingly, parties still happen and things still manage to get done without any sort of neurotic, bossy, busybody SAHMs standing between the teacher and the other parents. The teachers create their own signup geniuses, and I happily contribute each time.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate my Room Mom. She has been great in organizing things and letting us know what help she needs. She has asked parents to send in a few dollars to help with the hoiliday party and then she did all the shopping. She has used sign up genius for the Valentines Day party so parents could sign up to send in things or to help with the party. She asked for people to donate to a holiday gift for the teachers and made it clear that people should only donate what they are comfortable with.

She has stepped up to the plate and taken on a job that i cannot do, work prevents me, but has not been pushy or over the top. My DS has been thrilled with the events she has put together and we have been happy to help when we can.

We had a similar experience wiht the Kindergarten Room Mom as well.

[Anonymous]

We never had room parents, either. The teachers managed their own parties. No decorations, pizza, etc but the kids still had fun.

[Anonymous]

30) Valentines parties, other parties, room parents, teacher bribing with presents is all ridiculous. Why not just go back to how it used to be. The teachers spent time teaching. If they wanted to give the kids a bit of time off for a special occasion, they did an activity for a couple of hours that involved music and some sports equipment. No gifts for teachers unless they REALLY go over and above to help your family with a personal matter. On the other hand, parents are actually interested in their kids' educations, or at least care when the teacher is unhappy with the child's level of effort. Kids got their butts kicked at home if they disrespected a teacher or didn't do what was expected. Basically, let teachers be teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a room parent and we ask for each family to contribute a certain amount at the start of the year. This covers teacher holiday and end of year gifts, costumes for the school play and all crafts/food for parties. Pizza alone runs roughly $135 per party. We have about 55% participation yet 100% of the kids get crafts, fed at the party, and costumes for the play. We sign the teacher gifts from the class. It's January and we are out of money once I set aside for end of year gifts ($25/teacher). That means no more parties for the rest of the year. Do I email the class asking again for those who haven't donated to step up? For those of you who don't contribute, how do you feel about your child taking part in the parties, etc when you've not helped? And for those in a financial hardship, I get it.. but I'd venture in our school that is not the primary driver.

No, you don't get it may be a financial hard ship. I don't get how you are spending what you spend. I am a room parent and we get many 10-20% donations of stuff and that is it. Pizza for 25 kids is not $135. No, you send out two emails and if you get no response you find a way to make the money you get work. Many of us do it on a lot less. If you are out of money, you mismanaged the money. You should not be constantly asking for money. We never ask for teacher gifts. Parents can give what they want. We do a sign up genius asking for the basics.

You need 5 double cut pizzas - this is not supposed to be a full meal. You need a costco cake or cupcakes. Then some fruit and veggies depending on what is on sale. And, water bottles and/or juice boxes. Done. That should be under $100. Plates and decor from dollar tree. Decor pick so as a room parent you can use it year to year. Pizza Hut is having a sale for $5 medium pizzas and bread sticks. Get 4-5 pizzas double cut, 2 things of bread sticks (cut each breadstick in half).

$50 or under pizza.
$20 Costco cake
$10-15 for some grapes and carrots (or strawberries or what ever is on sale)
Plates and silverware and a few streamers and balloons - $10-15 at dollar tree
Then crafts - if no one steps up, get cheap things.


I plan to cover the entire party so anything we get is a bonus. I never ask for money as people are generally more generous with giving things. Some years we have 1-2-3 parents who are a huge help and one will do pizza, one will do desert and a few others do the random stuff so all I need are decorations, crafts and games (never had anyone donate those)

Parents do own presents for holidays, teacher appreciation, etc.

You are asking too much and misusing the money so people are not going to give you more.

And herein lies the problem... I always gave money to the class fund, but I also felt the people in charge LOVED to spend other people’s money. The amounts requested was way over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both of the immediate PPs. Some of these room parents need to do a bit of self reflection on whether the root of the problem is that they’re bossy control freaks. Parties and gifts work wonderfully at so many schools without all of this stress. These room parents need to pop a Xanax and learn how to create signup genius accounts.

You sound really grounded and seem to know what to do. Step and and volunteer next year!

I would, except my kids' schools don't have room parents! Amazingly, parties still happen and things still manage to get done without any sort of neurotic, bossy, busybody SAHMs standing between the teacher and the other parents. The teachers create their own signup geniuses, and I happily contribute each time.

Then you really have nothing to add. You have no experience with this. Many schools and teachers require them.