Trying to plan in-laws 50th wedding celebration

[Anonymous]

It's my in laws 50th anniversary this year. DH and siblings have all agreed that they would like to plan for a vacation this summer with all 3 families plus the couple of honor. However, they have done nothing to get the ball rolling and are unlikely to with out some intense behind the scenes pressure from me and my SIL (married to my DH's brother). I think it's important that this happen bc it will mean a lot to my parent in-laws but I am feeling resentful that their actual kids can't or won't get their act together to get it organized. Do I continue to push my husband or just let it be and risk that nothing gets planned?

[Anonymous]

I think that you and your SIL (who are 2 of the 3 families) should put together a short list of places you think would work and people would enjoy along with a list of weeks that would work for your families. Present them to your DH and BIL and see if that gets things moving. If it does, great! If it doesn't, well, they don't really want to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's my in laws 50th anniversary this year. DH and siblings have all agreed that they would like to plan for a vacation this summer with all 3 families plus the couple of honor. However, they have done nothing to get the ball rolling and are unlikely to with out some intense behind the scenes pressure from me and my SIL (married to my DH's brother). I think it's important that this happen bc it will mean a lot to my parent in-laws but I am feeling resentful that their actual kids can't or won't get their act together to get it organized. Do I continue to push my husband or just let it be and risk that nothing gets planned?

Nope this just makes you a nag. Don't let them turn you into a nag. Do 30 minutes of research into affordable big family trips (maybe call a travel agency) then hand that research to someone else. That way when the in laws are disappointed, you know you tried.

[Anonymous]

I would do as first pp. suggests to get the ball rolling. The guys might get around to it eventually but it will be last minute and everything will be full and you'll end up paying three times as much for something lame. Get the ball rolling, if you can, take something off your husbands plate so he can dedicate an hour to talking with his brother, researching etc. You're a team so work together. Yes it's annoying that he's procrastinating, but you know now that he is so head it off now. Get with sil, presents your husbands with some ideas and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that you and your SIL (who are 2 of the 3 families) should put together a short list of places you think would work and people would enjoy along with a list of weeks that would work for your families. Present them to your DH and BIL and see if that gets things moving. If it does, great! If it doesn't, well, they don't really want to do it.

+1

Some people aren't planners, OP. My husband is the vacation planner in our relationship; I'll be the one saying, "I'd kind of like to visit Argentina" and he'll be the one coming up with a list of places to go and hotels to stay in and using the airline miles to book the flight. If he sat around and waited for me to plan the trip, he would be disappointed and I would be frustrated and stressed. Also, when big groups of people like this start discussing potential vacation plans, it can be easy for everyone to sit back because they assume someone else will be taking over the planning. If you and your SIL step up to the plate, you could end up planning an amazing trip that will be wonderful for the entire family. Please don't let your resentment get in the way of what should be a wonderful gift/memory for your in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that you and your SIL (who are 2 of the 3 families) should put together a short list of places you think would work and people would enjoy along with a list of weeks that would work for your families. Present them to your DH and BIL and see if that gets things moving. If it does, great! If it doesn't, well, they don't really want to do it.

This. Give them a little nudge by offering some concrete suggestions. Then let them take it from there. If they really want to do this, then this should be enough to get them going. If not, I agree, they don't really want to do it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. SIL and I did present a couple of options in Dec - we agreed that we want to be in the Northeast and that we want a great pool and hopefully access to a lake with beach, boat rentals, fishing, etc.

We originally suggested Lake Naomi or Woodloch in the Poconos. Woodloch was vetoed bc you have to book a full week (Sat - Sat) and there is a preference for a long weekend (Wed - Sun) and Lake Naomi was vetoed because it's a 10 minute walk to the pool and lake (I still don't know why this is a problem since everyone is healthy and mobile).

Anybody have suggestions for alternate locations? Would greatly prefer a hotel/resort that has pool with a slide but not a full-fledged waterpark.

Thanks!