How did you feel about donating or destorying your frozen embyros?

[Anonymous]

We recently received our annual storage bill from CFA. We have a toddler and are unsure if we want more children. We plan to make a decision by the end of the year. Receiving the bill in the mail made me imagine deciding we are done, and making the decision to discard or donate the embryos (to another couple or to research). The thought of doing anything other than trying to make them my babies feels very strange.

What did you decide, and how did you feel about it? We have three, and the only case in which we would use all of them ourselves is if we decided to have another child and the first two attempts failed. So in other words, there is no way we would have 2-3 more children.

[Anonymous]

I received our storage bill last week and paid it the same day, as I did not want to risk forgetting and something happening to them. We have 2 on ice and hope at least one of them would like to become a sibling. My embryos are from a donor; I fought 5 years before having success and I could not imagine donating them to science. We would do an open donation to another couple.

Difficult decision, but worth paying the storage fee for you to have more time to explore if you are unsure what to do at this time.

[Anonymous]

KEEP THEM as long as you think you might try again. You never know in the defrosting how so embryos may degenerate or come out of the process. We had some double A grades that didn't make it through the defrosting well. And as you age, they still often recommend a double transfer more than when you are younger (although this may be changing). Dispose or donate when you feel like you are beyond where you'd have another kid.

[Anonymous]

I paid the storage fee until we could go back and do an FET. I did not feel comfortable donating them or destroying them.

[Anonymous]

I destroyed one and I wouldn't say I felt bad about it exactly. But it was a bittersweet moment. We knew for certain we were done.

I looked into donating it to research, but that wasn't an option at my clinic. I wasn't prepared to take possession of it myself and try to get it somewhere where it could go to research.

It really was the final page of closure on the whole process for me and I think that's why it was emotional, for me at least. As in, wow...I have spent years of my life thinking about this and doing this and now it's finally and truly done. I had thought so many times about the "last" steps...the last time I would walk through the clinic door, the last time I would see my nurse, the last time I would get blood drawn...and this was the last of the lasts.

[Anonymous]

We donated to science.

[Anonymous]

Donated to science, as well.

[Anonymous]

Having the same issue. We have 6 frosties and trying not to think about them or make a decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having the same issue. We have 6 frosties and trying not to think about them or make a decision.

+1, although we only have 1. We ended up with twins after many cycles. I imagine we will do an FET at some point but kind of hope it doesn't work, which odds are it won't.

[Anonymous]

I say keep until you are 100% sure you don't ever want another child. Not to be macabre, but I sometimes think, well, what if something happened to my one and only child? yes, I'd want another, but that could be anytime really, so the second factor is age. At what age do I not want to raise another child (a surrogate could help if I'm getting too old), but at a certain point I'm just too darn old to cope with raising another--so that can be a cut-off point. Donating them to science is a great way to help other couples in the future if you do decide to get rid of them.

[Anonymous]

The folks who donated to science, how did you manage that? We have 6 frozen embryos at Columbia and when we investigated about 3 years ago, donation to science did not seem to be an option. We have been paying for storage since 2008 ...

[Anonymous]

I had a hard time donating or destroying, so I paid the doctor to transfer the remaining eggs at the time when pregnancy was highly unlikely (had to get blood work prior to transfer to make sure chance of pregnancy was slim to non). Was expensive but worth to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a hard time donating or destroying, so I paid the doctor to transfer the remaining eggs at the time when pregnancy was highly unlikely (had to get blood work prior to transfer to make sure chance of pregnancy was slim to non). Was expensive but worth to me.

PP here. Sorry, embryos, not eggs.