If you moved to be closer to family...

[Anonymous]

Are you happy with the decision? Any regrets? Factors you didn't consider in advance?

[Anonymous]

We lived in DC for 12 years and decided to move to PA last June to be closer to my family. I wanted my two kids (4 and 2 now) to have a relationship with their grandparents and cousins.

While I love my family and moved closer to them specifically so we could see one another much more often, it has been a little overwhelming to see them all the time. My parents are divorced so I have to carve out time for my mom and step dad, plus my dad and step mom. Then my sister invites us over, plus extended family. It's just a lot and we were used to being our own independent unit of 4. We filled our weekend days by seeing friends, going to the park and doing other kid things around town, or even playing at home. But now it's a constant barrage of making plans every weekend and we haven't really had the time to make new friends or just do our own thing. When I try to decline invitations I get a guilt trip.

But all this said - the kids really have developed a nice relationship with my family which is very important to me. Hopefully things will settle down in time when the novelty of being home wears off.

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends on your reasons for being closer to family. Like PP said, doing it for the sake of the children developing relationships with other family members may be worth it to you. Or you may have a lovely close-knit family. I don't. My family is overseas, and I'm often glad about it. (Although there are times I'm sad about it, especially around holidays, because it's not the matter of jumping in the car and having a dinner at my mom's.) I don't care of DH's family, and they don't have similar aged children anyway. I just got off the phone with him telling him to stop trying to instigate a freaking family reunion. We met a bunch of them four months ago! I want some time to ourselves already. The annoy the leaving daylights out of me, and he is working hard to ruin out upcoming trip.

Sorry for highjacking your thread! Vent over

[Anonymous]

Hahahahahahaha. Never.

Sorry, couldn't help it. Kudos to you for having a good enough relationship that you would even consider this, though. I would encourage having a frank discussion about expectations before you make any big decisions. Like, are you assuming your parents will babysit twice a week? Because what if you show up and they aren't inclined to do that at all? Will you resent them for you having made the move? Talk it out in advance.

[Anonymous]

We moved from a location where we were 9, 11, and 15 hours from the three sets of grandparents. We are now 2, 2, and 4.5 hours. We see one set at least once or twice a month now- as opposed to maybe 6 times a year. The set that are 4.5 hours away we see maybe 4-6 times a year- rather than once or twice. And the other 2 hour away we see maybe 3 times a year- rather than 1-2.

I was surprised to some extent that- for some- it hardly changed the amount of times we saw them all. Unless you move super close, it may not change the relationships. I guess I thought proximity mattered- and what I am trying to say is that the relationships you have currently are probably the relationships you will continue to have. Proximity won't be some magical thing that makes everything perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from a location where we were 9, 11, and 15 hours from the three sets of grandparents. We are now 2, 2, and 4.5 hours. We see one set at least once or twice a month now- as opposed to maybe 6 times a year. The set that are 4.5 hours away we see maybe 4-6 times a year- rather than once or twice. And the other 2 hour away we see maybe 3 times a year- rather than 1-2.

I was surprised to some extent that- for some- it hardly changed the amount of times we saw them all. Unless you move super close, it may not change the relationships. I guess I thought proximity mattered- and what I am trying to say is that the relationships you have currently are probably the relationships you will continue to have. Proximity won't be some magical thing that makes everything perfect.

Similar experience here. We moved to be 2 hours from my parents and 2 hours from my MIL. We see my MIL a bunch (maybe once a month) but only see my parents every few months. I think they got so used to being on their own (ie no kids or grandkids around) that they booked themselves up with new activities and it kinda hurts to be so much closer to them but not see them any more often than we did when we were in DC

[Anonymous]

We moved to MoCo from NYC about 6 months ago. My parents are in Charles County, about an hour away. My sister and her two kids are 20 minutes away. I am so, so happy with my decision. The kids love being able to go see their cousins, pretty much whenever they want, and my parents are very happy to come up and babysit, or help do things around the house. My only regret is that we didn't make the move sooner.

[Anonymous]

We moved an hour from my family. It is a godsend when there is an emergency. We always had a good relationship, but now we see them more and enjoy it a lot.

[Anonymous]

We moved to be closer to family and also for a lower cost of living. It has been great for the kids to be closer to their cousins and grandparents. And wonderful for us to have family babysitters 2xs a month, I am so grateful for that.

I know that it's also great for the kids to live in a kid-friendly neighborhood with lots of neighbor friends to play with every day, as opposed to being the only kids in our DC condo building.

But... I really miss city life. I am out of here as soon as they turn 18 (if not before, if it suits our family as the kids grow and needs change...)!