Childhood toy--can I ask for it back?

[Anonymous]

I feel weird posting this, but I'm trying to decide on what to do. We were visiting my sister over the holidays. Among their toys (not given as a Christmas gifts) is a childhood toy of mine.

She's 5 years older than I and apparently took it a while ago with some other toys from our childhood home and gave them to her kids. This particular toy is something I cherished as a kid and thought it had been lost to the sands of time. Her kids have so many toys, I didn't notice that it was there until now. I have kids the same age and they would enjoy this toy too. In fact they were playing with it while we were there and that's how I realized she had it.

My question is, can I ask for it back, which would make me feel awkward or do I let it go, which makes me sad b/c I have so little I can share from my childhood with my kids?

[Anonymous]

Sure. Why not just ask her.

[Anonymous]

What's your relationship? If good, she might not realize that it matters to you. Next time you talk you could simply express your surprise and happiness that she found your cabbage patch doll (or whatever). You figured your parents threw it away years ago. Any chance your kids would be willing to part with it? I've missed that thing and would love for my kids to have it.

That sort of thing. Be prepared for her to say no. Don't hold a grudge if she says no, life is too short.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely! If you want to be nice, you can ask if you can buy something new for her kids in exchange for the old one. She probably has no idea that it means something to you. Just ask.

[Anonymous]

You can certainly ask for it.

But just because you cherished it doesn't mean she didn't cherish it too. It may mean just as much to her for her own kids to play with it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, ask for it back.

Or just take it, like she did, without asking. If it were my sister, this is how I would have to handle it, because my sister's sort of a jerk and thinks everything belongs to her.

[Anonymous]

I would just take it. I wouldn't even bother asking.

[Anonymous]

I would ask. I wouldn't just take it, because that's rude to her kids who don't know the backstory.

[Anonymous]

If I were your sister, I'd hope you would ask me!

[Anonymous]

You can ask, but it's time to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, ask for it back.

Or just take it, like she did, without asking. If it were my sister, this is how I would have to handle it, because my sister's sort of a jerk and thinks everything belongs to her.

Take it like she did without asking whom?

Presumably, it's the parents who get asked -- not the siblings.

It would never occur to me to ask my brother's permission to remove objects from my parent's attic. Especially old toys.

Taking an object from an adult sibling's home, however -- that would be stealing.

[Anonymous]

I would first look on Ebay for a second.one (don't order it). Then ask her if you can have the old one, but offer to buy a replacement if her kids really love it.

If Ebay doesn't have it, ask her if there's anything you could exchange it for.

If her kids don't particularly like the toy, this is much less complicated, obviously.

We found a brand new, in box "Keys of Knowledge" toy on ebay when I saw one at my inlaws house.

[Anonymous]

I would just tell her that you noticed she had X from your parents' house and you were happy to see it was still around. Say you have special memories of playing with it and would love to have it when her kids have outgrown it.

A considerate sibling would gladly comply.

[Anonymous]

Definitely ask, or next time you're over just take it when no one is looking. I doubt they'd even notice if they have so many other toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, ask for it back.

Or just take it, like she did, without asking. If it were my sister, this is how I would have to handle it, because my sister's sort of a jerk and thinks everything belongs to her.

Take it like she did without asking whom?

Presumably, it's the parents who get asked -- not the siblings.

It would never occur to me to ask my brother's permission to remove objects from my parent's attic. Especially old toys.

Taking an object from an adult sibling's home, however -- that would be stealing.

Then you're a jerk. If you take something from your parents house that you knew darn well belonged to your sibling then it's stealing just the same as if you took it from the siblings house. And taking something that belongs to you from your siblings house isn't stealing, it's taking back what belongs to you.