Has anyone moved away and came back due to missing family?

[Anonymous]

I seriously think I want to move back to the DC area or at least within a few hours of here. I decided to move away after college because of the COL. While I like the current city I live in, I'm unable to see my family frequently. There's nothing really making me stay where I live(I'm in a relationship however) and I'm not satisfied with my employment prospects. During my last trip home, I mentioned how much I miss living near them. This trip home has pretty much confirmed that I want to move back to the area or at least within a day trip's distance. My parents are divorced, my mom drives me nuts at times. I have a decent relationship with my dad and teenage siblings. I'd definitely have to reform my friendship group here, but most of my close friends are split between DC and Baltimore. I'm just concerned about finding employment that pays enough as I'm 30 and not interested in living in a group house. So with those few qualms, would moving back be in my best interest? Also has anyone been in my situation, if so, how did things work out?

[Anonymous]

Look for a job in the area and re-evaluate when you get an offer.

[Anonymous]

I think you will never have more flexibility than you do now. If you are willing to live 3 hours out, you shouldn't need to consider a group living situation.

Start applying. If it's meant to be it will happen for you. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others that you should start applying to jobs and seeing what kind of offers you get. What field are you in?

[Anonymous]

I moved half a country away for grad school for like 5 years, and hated it. I never really adjusted. I moved back after I got my degree and lived with my parents for a year. That was kind of hard because my mom told me I should get any job, like a waitress job. So I moved about an hour away after finally getting a job. So, yeah, probably getting a job first would be a good idea. Then after I lived within an hour of them for 10 years, they moved to the opposite coast and I've been unhappy about that since, and now I'm stuck here and am not wild about where they moved to. So, I'd say, yes, go ahead and move to be near them if you have the chance.

[Anonymous]

I moved 500 miles away for grad school. I hated where I was. I moved back home after graduating and after 2 months there I realized it wasn't where I needed to be. I left and returned to the region I went to grad school, but a different city. My aunt actually told me to go because she could see how miserable I was. I packed a lot of family time into those 2 months and relocated to a city with a major airport so I could easily fly home (grad school city was 2-3 connections to get back).

[Anonymous]

OP here. I live in a major city now, with a decent airport, so I can get home easily. It's just that I use a lot of Vacation time to see my family. It sucks because I haven't taken an actual vacation in a few years. Also because I live in a lower COL area, I won't ever make anything near six figures, which bothers me. I still have the option to go to grad school of course, but I am a lot more homesick now compared to when I was in undergrad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved half a country away for grad school for like 5 years, and hated it. I never really adjusted. I moved back after I got my degree and lived with my parents for a year. That was kind of hard because my mom told me I should get any job, like a waitress job. So I moved about an hour away after finally getting a job. So, yeah, probably getting a job first would be a good idea. Then after I lived within an hour of them for 10 years, they moved to the opposite coast and I've been unhappy about that since, and now I'm stuck here and am not wild about where they moved to. So, I'd say, yes, go ahead and move to be near them if you have the chance.

Really your story seems like a cautionary tale to build a life independent of your parents and family and live where you like. You moved back and then your parents moved away, but by then you were rooted, so hope it was where you wanted to be regardless of parents.

And parents aren't around for ever, and siblings and cousins have their own friends and lives, so coming home may not be the panacea you hope.

[Anonymous]

What above going to grad school near your parents? If you move back for them tell them so they are less likely to move away. I also prefer no va over the small town I went to for college. And my parents helped me out so much with our first child before I decided to stay home.

[Anonymous]

It sounds as if you need to move for work, not move for family.

Do your homework before coming to a decision. Research the jobs you're targeting in this area, ask friends (colleagues perhaps?) for leads, etc...

[Anonymous]

I've been looking into grad school in the area or at least within a few hours drive. My parents, well most of my family is rather ecstatic to possibly have me closer for a couple of years. My entire family minus a few members are in the midatlantic area, so we're not going anywhere. I honestly had a good career path going with my current employer prior to transferring, but just wanted to experience something different. I'm in the financial services industry, so I think it'll be pretty easy to find a position with a different employer in my search area.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Yes, I definitely want to move for better career opportunities, that's a priority next to finding a good grad school.

[Anonymous]

We moved back from where we (both DH and I) had been attending grad school. We are now closer to both of our families. It's about a 4 hour drive to most of them (5-6 for a couple), whereas before, it was about a 24 hour drive or a 4-5 hour flight (plus connections). We only saw our families maybe twice a year.

Then, my brother moved his family to GA. DH's brother moved his family to upstate OH (is that a place?), and my mom died shortly after we moved home. So we still aren't seeing a lot of our family more than once or twice a year. Add to that that DH's family almost NEVER comes to visit us.

It took me a while to find a job, around a year, although DH had one when we moved. He isn't as happy with his career as he would have been elsewhere, but we would have had to move from the city we LOVED for his job either way, most likely even further west. I like my job OK, and we are both in very stable if uninspiring career paths now. After 6 years, though, we haven't fallen in love with, or even in like with, the DC area. I still long for the city where we used to live, although I know it would be different if we lived there now with kids and not being in school anymore.

I guess the moral of my long story is that you never know how seemingly stable/permanent arrangements (i.e. where your family lives, who is still living even) may change over time, and you can't very well expect your family not to move because you "came back." I'm still mostly happy we moved back here, because we were closer when my mom got sick and will be closer as our other parents and grandparents age, but it hasn't been the panacea we probably thought it would be.

[Anonymous]

DC is not like the rest of the country, I'm sure there are a few other major cities like it. My family is all nearby, so I can only tell you I would never move away. My MIL has talked about moving to lower COL area about 5 hours away and my DH (her only child) reminds her how infrequent we see her now being only an hour away.
Figure out your relationship first, then job, then location.

Marriage and kids changes everything. My kids have friends of all backgrounds, and I wouldn't want to take them away from that. My DS was crying the other day because he was worried Trump would deport his Muslim friends.

so, I'm trying to say make sure you want DC for reasons other than family.