Don't want brother to be guardian anymore

[Anonymous]

After an interesting Christmas weekend I am questioning our decision to have my brother and SIL be our child's godparents. Do I tell him and cause bad blood? Or just revise the will and he'll find out if, God forbid, something were to happen? I can't imagine this conversation going well...

[Anonymous]

Change will
no conversation

[Anonymous]

We changed ours from friends to family. No conversation. I really don't think it's necessary.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell him. Just change you will. Tell the person you select and ask them to keep it to themselves.

[Anonymous]

You want to have the conversation/confrontation though. I can tell from your post. You crave it, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Change will
no conversation

This. And godparents are seperate from guardian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to have the conversation/confrontation though. I can tell from your post. You crave it, actually.

I don't. I love my brother. Don't want to cause any issues.

[Anonymous]

Yu need to tell him. If you and your husband are both killed in a car crash, he thinks he's supposed to go pick up your kids and raise them If whoever you choose to replace him doesn't have a copy of the will with them, there could be some conflict.

Your will is a recommendation. The court will usually follow it, but relatives can contest it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yu need to tell him. If you and your husband are both killed in a car crash, he thinks he's supposed to go pick up your kids and raise them If whoever you choose to replace him doesn't have a copy of the will with them, there could be some conflict.

Your will is a recommendation. The court will usually follow it, but relatives can contest it.

It would just be another family member who knows the situation. He wouldn't just go pick up the kids.

[Anonymous]

Change it. And put a letter with the will explaining (gently) why you made the change.

And then hope and pray that no one ever has to read that letter!

[Anonymous]

If you tell him, you know it will cause hurt. It's ok to bank on the fact that it's HIGHLY unlikely you and your DH will both die and he'll ever find out.

Don't tell. Change will. If you feel guilty, include a note to your brother that this wasn't a decision you made lightly, and it's not because you don't love him, but it was about your children.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP's for the recommendation to write a letter to him. I think that's what I will do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PP's for the recommendation to write a letter to him. I think that's what I will do.

I was going to suggest the same thing.

OP, what happened to make you change your mind?

[Anonymous]

Godparents are not the same thing as guardian. Which one is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Godparents are not the same thing as guardian. Which one is it?

Sorry.. I'm using them interchangeably. I mean legal guardian. I'm not even religious so don't even need to use the word godparent....