Elder Care from Afar
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Anonymous
| I live locally in the DMV and my parents live in NJ. When I saw them over the holidays it seems like my mother has gone down hill both physically and mentally and my dad, while older, is in good health, doesn't want to deal with it all. Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if I have to uproot my family and move eventually to care for them, but in the meantime I'd like to try to care for them from afar. Does anyone know of any actual rights I have to ingratiate myself in their business? I believe I am listed as a person their doctors can speak with. Any resources or tips would be greatly appreciated as I try to navigate this. |
Anonymous
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I've had success leaving messages for my dad's physician.
My dad was forgetting to tell his doctor some critical health information (some likely due to embarrassment, some forgetfulness/neuro problems that needed further testing/help) You'll need to ask if they have you listed as an emergency contact. do you have any legal rights as a guardian? Get in touch with social services in their town. Might want to familiarize yourself with available resources like Meals on Wheels, adult daycare, etc. |
Anonymous
| Know their finances, or make it a goal. The more you know about their finances, the more options there will be re: their care. Often the elderly think that everything costs too much and they don't want to spend for anything. Helps to know if this is a reality or not. |
Anonymous
| You can pay for Meals On Wheels to deliver food. It is $6 a day per person for lunch and dinner to be delivered Monday through Friday in my city. |
Anonymous
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You need a durable power of attorney, a healthcare proxy, and an advance healthcare directive from each parent, stat. Get these in place before dementia kicks in and they are no longer capable of making these choices.
The POA will enable you to handle their banking and credit cards. The healthcare proxy will enable you to speak with their doctors, pharmacies, etc. This book will help. http://www.amazon.com/Eldercare-For-Dummies-Rachelle-Zukerman/dp/0764524690 This one is good too: http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Eldercare-Planner-Revised-Updated/dp/0307409627/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=147B5KCXR6GBNXM6506V |
Anonymous
Wow! Thank you! |
Anonymous
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This firm is great - they can help you think through options and put you in touch with social workers and others in your parents communities.
You can do an initial consult for free, and add other services if you decide need them on an hourly basis or negotiated basis. http://www.agingnetworkservices.com/our-services |