25 year old brother wants to join the army
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Anonymous
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My brother lives with DH and I currently and we are expecting our first baby in July. Brother is fine to continue to live with us and helps out with rent and bills. He is now saying he will be in the way and wants to join to better himself.
I am a huge supporter of our troops but can't quite stand behind my brother joining up. I feel like this is the worst time with ISIS. Does anyone have any advice for when he talks to recruitment or any tips we should know about? If he is adamant about this, I want to support him. I just think it's not his only option. He wants to go to pay for college and learn skills to get a better job than the food industry he currently works in. He hates authority though and complains every time his boss yells or makes him do something he doesn't want to do, hence the nerves I'm experiencing. I have a horrible feeling about this. We have no other family to help with his college tuition though. |
Anonymous
| I'd do Coast Guard, Air Force or Navy over Army. Sounds reasonable but he will be much older than the normal enlisted person. |
Anonymous
| What is his passion? |
Anonymous
| Is he open to Navy or Air Force instead of Army? |
Anonymous
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I would talk to him about the fact that YOU don't think he'll be in the way, as well as OTHER options that could lead to bettering himself. I'd ask how much better he thinks he'll be three years from now with only one leg and PTSD so bad he can't work but waiting for VA benefits to kick in. Because that sounds like he'd be worse off, not better.
Does he HONESTLY think a sergeant in the army won't yell at him or make him do things he doesn't want to do? It doesn't sound like he's truly thought this through. OP, Army Recruiters get bonuses for each person they sign up They will totally talk him INTO it. They will NOT be honest and give a balanced view of what life would be like in the Army. |
Anonymous
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One of the main reasons people wash put of boot camp.is that they can't learn to take orders. If he's not going to be able to manage it, he'll know early on. It's also possible people in the military will earn his respect in contrast to those in food service.
. If he is serious, you should go with him to the recruiter. He should also look into all of the services, not just Army. For a single, slightly older recruit, I would think the Navy might be a good fit, and might be safer, too. |
Anonymous
OP, he sounds like a terrific young man with a lot of potential who just needs to grow up. ("Hating authority" is a huge sign of immaturity!) The Army could be the best (or worst) thing in the world for him. Good for him for wanting to better himself in some way; too many young men his age are content to play video games all day and work at some low-rent job. Does he have a mentor that he trusts? Can you find him someone impartial to talk to him seriously about this? Ideally, a man fifteen to twenty-five years older who was once in your brother's shoes. (Ask around -- you'd be surprised at who has served. Maybe at your church? Job or your DH's workplace? Neighborhood list serve?) I agree, he needs to get a realistic picture of this before making a decision, although keep in mind that it is impossible to understand the situation completely before you do it. |
Anonymous
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If he has no other options, military may work. Navy and AF are more selective, but Army will take just about anyone who appears reasonably healthy.
He may or may not be in the way, but at 25 it's time for him to get his act together one way or another. I say support him. As far as ISIS, there will always be something. His job will be to kill people and destroy things, there is no better or worse times for this, it has always been and will always be dangerous. |
Anonymous
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I have a cousin that did this 4-5 years ago- he was a teeny bit younger than your brother (maybe 23?). He wanted to join the infantry. Who does that? He scored so well on the assessment that the recruiter (or whomever makes the decisions) tried to talk him out of infantry. He was smart, but aimless, and had always been that way - had a really hard time buckling down, always had just ok grades because he didn't want to do anything or work really hard.
The Army has been the best thing that has ever happened to him. He is truly soaring - it is hard when he is deployed, but...his transformation in a short period of time has been nothing short of amazing. If he doesn't want to go to war, he needs to join another service. |
Anonymous
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I have a hard time understanding how you can say that you are a "huge supporter of the troops," and, in the same sentence, say that you will do just about anything to keep your brother from becoming one of them. I could start to see some logic if your brother were a young father, but he's not. Nor is he particularly young, married, or even accomplished.
Who is supposed to be a troop, if not someone like your brother? |
Anonymous
| Your fears are unfounded, foolish and selfish. Have you done any research on risk of death/injury in the military? Read his http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2014/03/15/dying-for-a-paycheck-these-jobs-are-more-dangerous.aspx . In addition to the benefits provided by the military to those in service, there are a large number of benefits for those who honorably complete their service. I've already been talking to my kids about the increasing need for Americans to have served - especially if they're interested in federal service. |
Anonymous
+1 It's okay for other people, but not your brother, who actually wants to join? |
Anonymous
| He's 25 years old - not exactly a child. |
Anonymous
| OP, you're the worst kind of hypocrite. Your "support" of the troops, whatever that even means, is so patronizing and condescending. |
Anonymous
| It is his decision to do what he wishes with his life. Sounds like you don't want to lose money he puts on for rent and food. Why would a 25 yr old want to live with a newborn not his own. |