Last time I visit the In-laws!

[Anonymous]

We had a beautiful Christmas vacation planned until my FIL called and begged us to change our plans. This meant canceling on my parents and sisters who would have loved to see our kids. Well we spend a ton of airline miles and money only to fly across the country and have our inlaws basically ignore the kids the whole time. They can take about 10-15 minutes, tops. Today they told us they wanted to "focus on us" instead of a planned trip. My kids were totally crushed. This is the last time we are coming here. I don't care if they want to take all the me time in the world, but we have been here 4 days and seen them once on the first day for lunch. Otherwise they've ditched us to run errands and have me time. I dont care if they can't take the kids for that long- they forced us to change plans to "spend more time with them". We are here and the reality of children hits them.

Sorry for the vent but I'm nearly to the point of marching over and giving them a piece of my mind.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but this is your fault. They did NOT force you to change your plans. They asked, and instead of saying "Sorry, we've already arranged our holiday, but let's get together in February," you ditched the people you HAD plans with, spent a ton of money, and then are complaining about people not falling all over you. Are you new? I mean, this sounds like it can't possibly be something that came out of nowhere. So you should have known they'd be this way.

[Anonymous]

Say something to them!! "You asked us to change our plans to come spend time with you and yet you barely have time for us. This was a big expense and the kids have seen you for barely any time. I think next time you want to see us it would be best if you come to us."

Now go make your own fun plans there and make it a good vacation for your kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say something to them!! "You asked us to change our plans to come spend time with you and yet you barely have time for us. This was a big expense and the kids have seen you for barely any time. I think next time you want to see us it would be best if you come to us."

Now go make your own fun plans there and make it a good vacation for your kids!

We are having fun and doing as many fun things as we can for the kids. The Inlaws talk a big game- even listing all the things they want to do until the kids get here and it's all so overwhelming. My husband said something to them but said it so gently I don't think it resonated. I have stopped speaking to them entirely but they're quiet so I am sure this is probably just a relief. The trips we did today and yesterday THEY planned and emailed us about weeks ago. At the last second grandma got a headache and had to get some painkillers while grandpa needed to fix that funny faucet. Today they were at least open about it. Fuck them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but this is your fault. They did NOT force you to change your plans. They asked, and instead of saying "Sorry, we've already arranged our holiday, but let's get together in February," you ditched the people you HAD plans with, spent a ton of money, and then are complaining about people not falling all over you. Are you new? I mean, this sounds like it can't possibly be something that came out of nowhere. So you should have known they'd be this way.

Do you feel better now that you've acted like a jerk towards someone who needed a vent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but this is your fault. They did NOT force you to change your plans. They asked, and instead of saying "Sorry, we've already arranged our holiday, but let's get together in February," you ditched the people you HAD plans with, spent a ton of money, and then are complaining about people not falling all over you. Are you new? I mean, this sounds like it can't possibly be something that came out of nowhere. So you should have known they'd be this way.

Do you feel better now that you've acted like a jerk towards someone who needed a vent?

Well, they were telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

It's okay, OP. Live and learn. Not the end of the world, is it?

[Anonymous]

I don't get this at all! Why did you change your plans?

[Anonymous]

Lesson learned. Fly home now. You're an adult. Make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but this is your fault. They did NOT force you to change your plans. They asked, and instead of saying "Sorry, we've already arranged our holiday, but let's get together in February," you ditched the people you HAD plans with, spent a ton of money, and then are complaining about people not falling all over you. Are you new? I mean, this sounds like it can't possibly be something that came out of nowhere. So you should have known they'd be this way.

Do you feel better now that you've acted like a jerk towards someone who needed a vent?

Well, they were telling the truth.

+1 OP, no one forced you to change your plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesson learned. Fly home now. You're an adult. Make it happen.

Is this a possibility OP? You're already in for a ton of money - can you fly home, or fly to your family today/tomorrow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a beautiful Christmas vacation planned until my FIL called and begged us to change our plans. This meant canceling on my parents and sisters who would have loved to see our kids. Well we spend a ton of airline miles and money only to fly across the country and have our inlaws basically ignore the kids the whole time. They can take about 10-15 minutes, tops. Today they told us they wanted to "focus on us" instead of a planned trip. My kids were totally crushed. This is the last time we are coming here. I don't care if they want to take all the me time in the world, but we have been here 4 days and seen them once on the first day for lunch. Otherwise they've ditched us to run errands and have me time. I dont care if they can't take the kids for that long- they forced us to change plans to "spend more time with them". We are here and the reality of children hits them.

Sorry for the vent but I'm nearly to the point of marching over and giving them a piece of my mind.

If I were your parents or sisters I would be pissed at you for ditching at the last minute!

[Anonymous]

I would never have cancelled the original trip. Is there more to the story? Why didn't you just offer to visit in January?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this at all! Why did you change your plans?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you cancel on your family? What a bitch. You are such a hypocrite.

WTF? Why is everyone attacking her? I assumed from the OP that her family lives nearby and probably sees them every Christmas. This one Christmas, her inlaws begged for the time, so they decided to fly there instead of the usual short to medium drive.

-NP whose inlaws see us every Christmas because they are a 2 hr drive away, and whose parents live 3000 miles away and are just as selfish and flaky as OP's inlaws.