Far Of Losing Affection Connection w/ Teen D

[Anonymous]

I'm a dad and have started to feel a bit worried (maybe just insecure) about the way my daughter and I show affection for each other. And before anyone jumps to any conclusion - do NOT infer anything creepy or inappropriate about this post.

She's 13 and we have a great relationship after a somewhat rocky period due to a divorce where I went through a bit of depression and wasn't at my best, combined with the fact that her mom really took the opportunity to throw gas on the fire.

But all is well now and we get along great.

My concern is that we used to be very huggy and say "I love you" etc at goodbyes and randomly - often many times a day. I still tell there this often and make sure she knows that I love her more than anything in the world.

But since we've come back to a good place after the initial separation of my stbx and I, she has never said ILY and isn't that huggy or affectionate with me - unless we're watching a movie at home, in which case I’m anything from a headrest to a piece of furniture

The part that bugs me, and I admit this is largely me, is that I see her be very huggy and say ILY to not only her mom, but moms of her best friend. When she sees this woman it’s “Ooooh, hi mommy 2! I love you so much…” etc and all kinds of squishyness. She says things to the other moms in her life that she never says to me.

I guess my question is this; have you experienced this with your teen D and did it ever change with time? I know inside she loves me but I would like to get back to hearing it verbally - even if only once in a while.

Thanks for your time and any thoughts you can offer.

[Anonymous]

It's the age. My son won't hug me, his mom, these days. He will come back, but right now too bad for me. I miss him.

[Anonymous]

This is very normal for fathers and daughters at this age. My DH went through something similar with my DD, and they have a very close relationship. She has become a bit more physically affectionate again now that she's further through adolescence (16 yrs old) but it's just different than when she was a little girl. Normal.

As an aside, I went through something similar with my two sons around age 13. They are still affectionate with me, but not in the same way they were when little. They both are young men now with girlfriends. What can you do? It's part of life and healthy, but sometimes tough on us parents.

[Anonymous]

It's normal, but also really important now that you maintain physical affection (on her terms). So the TV watching is all good. Keep telling her you love her.

[Anonymous]

Agree on it's the age. I have a soon-to-be 13 yo and am seeing some of this too, OP.

We've always been very close, but lately she keeps more to herself, is less affectionate, and is more moody. But thing is I know she still loves and needs me (also a Dad) -- she just shows it in different ways.

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old son no longer wants hugs. It is NOT you. It is their ages. I promise in a few years it will turn around.

[Anonymous]

Is not you, it's the age. I have 10 and 15 year old boys. 15 year old is way past any of that stuff and I know my time is limited with my 10 year old.