Step moms/dads: What expectations do you have for gifting?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My friend now has step kids.
I love her and don't know her step kids so well (teens). I want to appreciate her new family and get them some holiday gifts. Thoughts? Any "always go-to" gift cards for kids in HS? I'm stressed about $ amounts, and I think of it a karmic-she's been so good to my kids over the years I should just go for dollar amounts close to what she spends on my kids. I'm also leaning towards things parents pay out of pocket for that I could offset. (Gas, barnes & noble. movies...). Is that weird? |
Anonymous
OP-Meaning will the kids think it is weird or will they just say, "Oh! Stuff!!". Who speaks teenager? |
Anonymous
| I think that it is both sweet and totally appropriate for you to give gifts to your friend's DSC. However, you may want to get a vetted list before shopping. DD 10 came home with some inappropriate items given to her by soon-to-be stepmom's BFF. Inappropriate as in track bottoms with words written on the butt and "baby doll" cut tees with suggestive sayings. I may be stereotyping, but from mass media, I think these are culturally appropriate pre-teen girl wear in STBSM and BFF's home state if you get my drift. DD herself was uncomfortable with the clothing. We donated them to Value Village. |
Anonymous
It would only be weird if you haven't met the kids themselves or if the kids don't live with your friend and her husband at least part of the time. If you have and they do, just treat them the way you'd treat any other friend's children (and/or the way you'd like your friends to treat your children at the holidays). I agree with the suggestion that you ask her about it though, but don't make it about "step." "Is there anything in particular that Starla wants for Christmas?" is just fine. |
Anonymous
|
I think a book of movie tickets for the whole family would be fine. Adjust the number of tickets depending on what you want to spend and make the gift to the whole family.
They could do a movie night together, or the kids could go on their own to the movies they want to see, but it's up to your friend to decide. |
Anonymous
|
In my view, you can never go wrong with iTunes gift cards for teens. Here are some other ideas.
Movie theater gift cards Starbucks A handful of fun small gift cards -- Five Below, an ice cream store, a craft store (probably more for girls) Like $5 or $10 each Game stop Amazon I think your minimum is $25, but I don't think you have to go nuts. |
Anonymous
| I give itunes and amazon gift cards. I'd give others if I knew particular preferences. Teens always love gift cards. |
Anonymous
|
OP here:
Thanks for the great and kind ideas. I got an assortment of gift cards for Barnes & Noble, Starbucks & a local sporting goods store where I know they go a lot. I called the store manager and he set up a "family account" with $ in it, so next time they need gear, maybe they will get something nice. I also got them some very generic boxes of candy to celebrate the season. My uncle used to do this and I felt so grown up that he saw me as someone who was mature enough for candy with a map inside. 
When I gave it my friend, she explained how there is holiday drama (not on her end) and the kids are upset. Listening between the lines, I see how much she loves and cares for them (but doesn't want to replace their mom) and I felt really good about making their week a little nicer. I told her to either give it to them at Christmas, or when she thinks they need a pick-me-up any time between now and then. (See: candy). |
Anonymous
I do, and I think I grew up there. I live in VA now. My kids say "Mom thinks she needs a sweater," when someone is dressed like that. |
Anonymous
| $1000 cash/each kid |
Anonymous
LOL! I know that the gift was meant with the finest intentions. It was a teachable moment. |
Anonymous
Oh poo. Wish I'd seen this before I landed on the Starbucks thing... |