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My daughter and a boy "like each other" and they want to "hang out" over the break. Any ideas from any other parents out there who have gone through that awkward "getting to know you" phase with boys and girls? Going to a movie doesn't seem like you really get to know the other person all that more. My daughter isn't into shopping or going to the mall either. It was so much easier to have playdates!
I would love to hear any other advice on how to be supportive of newly "hanging out/going out" teens. TIA. |
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What age?
For GS camp, we had these cards that were all conversation starters. "What do you do once in a blue moon?", "Where is the last place you would look for your keys, but might find them?" They came pre-printed from a company. That would be a fun coffee shop "date". Pick a physical activity that isn't too vigorous for conversation. Right now, ice-skating. In the Spring, rowing a small boat. You have something to do during conversational lulls. |
| Thanks for your thoughts. They are seventh graders. |
| My son likes to go to the movies, lunch, ice skating, hiking. |
| How about a day at a museum? |
| How about bowling or a day at a museum? |
| i have a 7th grader. I would not coordinate a social activity for a boy/girl. If they came up with something, I would consider driving and staying nearby, but would not be thrilled about it. If kids are ready to ship, they would know where to hang out. |
| Only group coed activities in 7th. |
I agree. Also agree that group activities are best. |
Agree. Two friends' daughters who were pushing for one on one time with boys in seventh grade were fully into stick-like-glue "boyfriend/girlfriend" exclusiveness by the end of that year, and it created all kinds of drama much earlier than the parents -- or the kids -- were ready for. The result was parents having to backtrack and stop the MS dating behavior because the exclusivity and intenseness was just too much, too soon, and affected the kids' schoolwork and their other friendships. The girls of course were furious and confused that they'd been allowed to do time alone with their boyfriends (and a LOT of social media time "with" them and talking to friends about them), then were told it had to stop. Just don't go there so soon. It's nice that you want to support what is right now a new friendship, but stick with group activities for a while to come, and while you still can. Take a group of four or six of them ice skating or bowling or to play laser tag (let your kid plan it herself and find activities she knows her friends would consider fun), have pizza afterward, then everyone gets picked up by their parents. |
| DD in 8th grade has not expressed any interest in hanging out with boy one on one for which I am thankful. But if she had, I would drive them to ice skating, movie, bowling, etc. it is natural to have feeling at 13. |
| I have a DD in 7th. Agree with group activities only. |
| What I did what told my daughter no dating until she is fifteen. But, I had a strict definition of dating. She met the boy in the mall and they hung out. Mostly they walked and talked. (I did not know the boy, so unbeknownst to them, I kept an eye on things (the first time). |
| taking them for a hike, going to museum--although you'd have to be nearby, giving them some space. basically giving them a chance to walk and talk and get to know each other. also if they both like sports, going to college bball game in the area. |
| I would try shorter first. Like a visit to frozen yogurt or starbucks for an hour, then pick them back up and try something longer next time |