How do you get through family events that you dread?

[Anonymous]

I hate getting together with my brother's family, but have to join them for several long evenings this holiday season. I can feel my stomach already starting to clench for the week.

There is no drinking at their house (very religious). I would normally have a glass of wine to relax, but that isn't happening.

How do you deal with these events?

[Anonymous]

Make up a game in which you pay yourself. Ie. "Every time Aunt Myrtle mentions something she saw on Fox News, I get a dollar." Then take that money and buy yourself something, even if it is just some ice cream.

[Anonymous]

I knit. If the get together is casual I bring it along. I can chat and work on a mindless project but the split attention helps.

[Anonymous]

Buy a flask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy a flask

They are religious and don't drink. You may add a splash of vodka to anything you like.
I also play games like pp does. If you dh can be part of the game even better. It is almost fun to count the times Aunt Edna says "x". I also go for a walk after dinner if at all possible. I will go do the dishes if there are any to be done, take out the trash if at all possible. I get the bonus points for being helpful (and yes they are keeping track) and at the same time I get to go outside by myself and just breathe for 5 min.

[Anonymous]

booze, lot's of booze.

[Anonymous]

Can you move the evenings to another venue? How many evenings?

I think I would work on reducing the number of times you need to be with them since it makes you so uncomfortable/unhappy.

[Anonymous]

I just hang out with the kids when the adults are stressing me out.

[Anonymous]

could you have a glass of wine ahead of time? Or, could you have them to your house instead so you're not subject to their rules?

[Anonymous]

I make a mental list of all the things they normally do and say that piss me off and then I mentally play Bingo while I'm there. That way, I get excited to hear them ask when I'm going to get married or if I've gained some weight.

Also, I pretend I'm on a reality show and they're the ones cast in the role of villain while I'm beloved by all my fans.

[Anonymous]

Frequent trips to the bathroom with your iphone to read DCUM.

[Anonymous]

I conjugate verbs in French and Spanish in my head.

[Anonymous]

I menu plan and create shopping lists in my head. Same as when I'm having sex with DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make up a game in which you pay yourself. Ie. "Every time Aunt Myrtle mentions something she saw on Fox News, I get a dollar." Then take that money and buy yourself something, even if it is just some ice cream.

I mentally play a game called A$$h*le Bingo from law school: count every time the class sycophant says something to appease the teacher and when the number gets to 5, say "Bingo" in a sentence. I only play mentally at family gatherings, but who knows? Maybe you can try it IRL and Aunt Myrtle won't notice.

[Anonymous]

Use the classics:
* "Oh, there's Cousin X from Albany. I've got to say hi";
* "I hear the kids";
* smile, nod and after 5 minutes, say "excuse me, I'm going to refill my drink."