Applying to private - teacher recs from public school...

[Anonymous]

Is there any way of knowing what the teacher letter of recommendation letter says? Our DS applying to private, which requires two teacher recs. The recommendations are sent directly to school and I'm out of the loop. I guess I could ask or would that be kind of pathetic? I'm just curious and obviously hoping DS is shown in the best light possible.

[Anonymous]

You need to get over this. You're not supposed to know. This will happen again for college applications,e tc. Regardless, it won't be negative. A teacher is very unlikely to send a negative letter, so don't worry about that.

[Anonymous]

This is the norm for teacher recs. The fact that they are public school teachers is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

I didn't want to know and some of the teachers shared a little of what they said...were you in contact with the teachers about asking them to do the recs/providing the forms, or did you have your child do so? If you were the point of contact maybe check in with them and say "just checking that all is well with the recommendations since application deadlines are quickly approaching" and they may provide you some insight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any way of knowing what the teacher letter of recommendation letter says? Our DS applying to private, which requires two teacher recs. The recommendations are sent directly to school and I'm out of the loop. I guess I could ask or would that be kind of pathetic? I'm just curious and obviously hoping DS is shown in the best light possible.

You are SUPPOSED to be out of the loop, OP. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there any way of knowing what the teacher letter of recommendation letter says? Our DS applying to private, which requires two teacher recs. The recommendations are sent directly to school and I'm out of the loop. I guess I could ask or would that be kind of pathetic? I'm just curious and obviously hoping DS is shown in the best light possible.

You are SUPPOSED to be out of the loop, OP. Let it go.

Yup OP. It's out of your control. I did send my DC's teacher an email letting her know about it and thanking her, but I am completely out of the loop otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Most letters have a statement at the top that parent is supposed to sign saying they are confidential. The goal is that these portray the child accurately. The teachers will be honest - and that should be the best possible light if your child is a good student.

[Anonymous]

As a former public school teacher who became a private school teacher, there is NO reason to be anything less than glowing, if at all possible.

You get a smaller class size. The student gets a positive experiece. If parents have the means, (time/money) to make the other school happen, why wouldn't you set a child up for the best set of circumstances?

Teachers are honest about lateness and organization.

If a kid acts up a lot, I'd want to warn the new school (not shuffle the kid around) so they can place him/her with a good teacher.
Other than that...Good news.

Keep in mind that teachers who say every kid is a genius DQ themselves.
Teachers who say a kid has a lot of strengths but is still working on....have street cred. *IMHO

[Anonymous]

As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

I sincerely hope this person is a troll. On the odd chance that it's not, have you considered the message you are sending the prospective school by refusing the sign the waiver and insisting on seeing the recommendations? Admissions may see you as difficult and high maintenance. They will also devalue the recommendations knowing that the recommenders were pressured to write them knowing you would see them. They will be less likely to be candid (especially considering some of the forms ask about the parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

I sincerely hope this person is a troll. On the odd chance that it's not, have you considered the message you are sending the prospective school by refusing the sign the waiver and insisting on seeing the recommendations? Admissions may see you as difficult and high maintenance. They will also devalue the recommendations knowing that the recommenders were pressured to write them knowing you would see them. They will be less likely to be candid (especially considering some of the forms ask about the parents).

If you ever had a really weird public school teacher who made strange conclusions about your child you would understand why one would not want to waive confidentiality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

I sincerely hope this person is a troll. On the odd chance that it's not, have you considered the message you are sending the prospective school by refusing the sign the waiver and insisting on seeing the recommendations? Admissions may see you as difficult and high maintenance. They will also devalue the recommendations knowing that the recommenders were pressured to write them knowing you would see them. They will be less likely to be candid (especially considering some of the forms ask about the parents).

If you ever had a really weird public school teacher who made strange conclusions about your child you would understand why one would not want to waive confidentiality.

My kids are both applying from public (one with special needs so the public school definitely has some opinions of our family because we've really fought them) but I waived. It's the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

I sincerely hope this person is a troll. On the odd chance that it's not, have you considered the message you are sending the prospective school by refusing the sign the waiver and insisting on seeing the recommendations? Admissions may see you as difficult and high maintenance. They will also devalue the recommendations knowing that the recommenders were pressured to write them knowing you would see them. They will be less likely to be candid (especially considering some of the forms ask about the parents).

Nonsense. And I've never insisted on seeing them. I just want the option to be there, in case I want to see them at a later date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

I sincerely hope this person is a troll. On the odd chance that it's not, have you considered the message you are sending the prospective school by refusing the sign the waiver and insisting on seeing the recommendations? Admissions may see you as difficult and high maintenance. They will also devalue the recommendations knowing that the recommenders were pressured to write them knowing you would see them. They will be less likely to be candid (especially considering some of the forms ask about the parents).

PS. My kids have got into every private we've ever applied to, so I think it would take more than this to make them think we were high maintenance and to be avoided. Haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent, I just don't sign the confidentiality waiver. I want to have access to everything, if possible and if necessary.

You might want to include a stamped, addressed envelope though, when we applied to a private from public our old K teacher said she'd do it if we supplied those things.

I sincerely hope this person is a troll. On the odd chance that it's not, have you considered the message you are sending the prospective school by refusing the sign the waiver and insisting on seeing the recommendations? Admissions may see you as difficult and high maintenance. They will also devalue the recommendations knowing that the recommenders were pressured to write them knowing you would see them. They will be less likely to be candid (especially considering some of the forms ask about the parents).

PS. My kids have got into every private we've ever applied to, so I think it would take more than this to make them think we were high maintenance and to be avoided. Haha.

Good luck getting getting high school teaches to write a rec without a waiver. Signing the waiver is just about required at DC's top 3 private. The recommendation is less valuable if you have refused your right to see it.