Not ready for this one: 9 years old DD told me she likes a boy

[Anonymous]

Last night before sleeping, she said, "Mom, can I tell you something?" I said of course. We sat down on her bed and she told me that she likes this particular boy, and it is different from all other boys she had liked in the past. I calmly told her that this is fine and just be friendly and don't do anything crazy like kissing or touching ... Deep down I was panicking, really, before 10 years old?! Gosh, my little girl is growing up too fast!!

[Anonymous]

Why would you tell her kissing or touching are crazy? That in and of itself seems crazy. And why would you panic? It's not like they're going to go shopping for a summer home together next week. His friends will tell her friends things to tell her, and there'll be a lot of giggling. That's it.

Next time try some variation on, "Cool; what do you like about him?"

[Anonymous]

Not sure why you're surprised, OP. It is perfectly normal that a child should have a preference for one other particular child, of the same or opposite sex. It DOES NOT automatically lead to impropriety!

DS has been telling me the name of his current wife (it changes every year) ever since preschool. Now in 5th, he's more cagey about it, but I can tell which girl he prefers in his class. DD, 5, really likes one boy in her class.

Ask your daughter for an update in a few months. She might have no feelings for this boy anymore

[Anonymous]

... and DON'T put ideas in her head, silly OP.

[Anonymous]

lol I still remember my first crush around that age. It's not like I wanted to kiss him or do anything like that! I just found him really cool and wanted to hang out with him. But at that age they are also getting the fact that guys and girls can sometimes have different emotions towards each other vs girls and girl or boys and boys.

If he were a girl, she would just be saying there was a new girl she wanted to be best friends with.

Please try to calm down a little. You don't want to make things into a bigger deal than they are

[Anonymous]

Yes. I had my first crush at 7 in 1st grade. I think he chased me around the playground.

Your daughter's crush is perfectly normal and as others said you're making way too big a deal out of it.

[Anonymous]

I had my first kiss at age 10 -- lying on a couch at the insistence of my friends and as they watched.

It's never too early to talk about establishing boundaries.

[Anonymous]

My seven year old has told me all about her 'boyfriend' Tony, who she decided was her boyfriend because he 'tells the funniest jokes in the whole class' but has not told him he is her boyfriend, or told anyone else, because 'some kids might say ewww or something'. I told her it was fine just to laugh at his jokes and play with him sometimes if she wanted to, but there was no need to inform him of the status she had decided to bestow

We have also had other conversations about touching, and how her body is her very own body and places no one should touch it except her parents helping her wash up or her doctor, and how no one should touch it at all when she does not want to be touched and she should tell them no.

They were just separate conversations. I don't think elementary school 'love' and learning about safety and consent need to be a paired talk, they usually aren't a paired issue.

[Anonymous]

Well done on listening calmly and supporting her. I still remember having a crush on a classmate in 3rd grade and my mom teasing me about it. (It was obvious, apparently.) I never mentioned another boy, even in passing, even once I started dating as a teen.