Who else is dreading holiday QT w/ the fam?

[Anonymous]

I am already having anxiety over our upcoming holiday travel to my ILs. First, it's a 7 hour drive with a 1.5 and 3.5 year old who are board after 20 mins. Next, there are 4 bedrooms and a den for ILs, me/DH/2 kids, SIL/BIL/3 kids, BIL/SIL/3 kids, plus an aunt/uncle. Every year there are not enough beds for the adults, let alone the kids who just kind of have to pass out anywhere, if they sleep that is. One SIL's kids (9 and 7) are total psychopaths and tried to feed the dog dishwasher pellets last year. The other SIL and BIL are always on the verge of divorce and literally can't be in the same room most of the time.

MIL is the world's worst cook but thinks she is Ina Garten- raw turkey anyone? Burnt pie? Mashed potatoes with mystery chunks? They also like to sleep with the heat on 95 degrees which is miserable.

Share what you have planned!

[Anonymous]

Most houses people go visit don't have 4 bedrooms and another sleeping option.

[Anonymous]

Get a hotel room. Say that it's because of naps.

[Anonymous]

Good grief, OP. Why are you doing this to yourself! HOTEL.

[Anonymous]

And... why on earth are you going?
Why on earth aren't you in a hotel?
Why on earth haven't you put your foot down already, declaring to everyone that you will create your own holiday traditions at home, thank you very much?

OP, you have to show a little backbone here.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for you. This many people in a house that size = a hotel for you and your family. Otherwise, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

[Anonymous]

Get a hotel, or stop complaining about the lack of space/lack of sleep.

I will give you a pass to complain about the food. It's the worst when people who can't cook think they CAN cook. I truly appreciate hosts who at least have the self-awareness to ask people to bring food, or order in/go out to eat if they can't handle properly feeding a crowd, especially for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

OP here... If it were up to me I would not be going, but DH is adamant that we go because it is very important to his parents to have all family under one roof, which includes sleeping there as a "family tradition". They had fantasies about their kids and grandkids celebrating Christmas together since their kids were little. This has been the source of many arguments between DH and I and he has pretty much begged me to just do this for him, so I do, but I hate every second of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here... If it were up to me I would not be going, but DH is adamant that we go because it is very important to his parents to have all family under one roof, which includes sleeping there as a "family tradition". They had fantasies about their kids and grandkids celebrating Christmas together since their kids were little. This has been the source of many arguments between DH and I and he has pretty much begged me to just do this for him, so I do, but I hate every second of it.

Then stay there ONE NIGHT--Christmas Eve into Christmas Day--and that's it. That's your compromise. A local hotel for any additional nights.

[Anonymous]

OP- I'm in a similar boat, and came up with the exact compromise PP mentioned. We're "sleeping" at his family's home Christmas eve only. It blows my mind how even some of DH's siblings want to spend whole days with everyone crammed into their parents house making gingerbread houses and playing board games and doing puzzles. They say the "crazy chaos" is "part of the fun." Um, when I can't find a clean place to sit, and am constantly pulling small objects or candy out of DC's mouth (DC is the youngest grandchild by far, everyone seems to have forgotten this phase), it isn't any fun for me. Good for you doing it for your husband, though. I hope he appreciates it. Maybe come up with a list of things you'll do/buy for yourself after the trip. That helps me get through some of the rougher moments. I may get flamed for shallowness, but it helps me keep a smile on my face, and the truth is I've never actually followed through on any of the things I've promised myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here... If it were up to me I would not be going, but DH is adamant that we go because it is very important to his parents to have all family under one roof, which includes sleeping there as a "family tradition". They had fantasies about their kids and grandkids celebrating Christmas together since their kids were little. This has been the source of many arguments between DH and I and he has pretty much begged me to just do this for him, so I do, but I hate every second of it.

Tell him you have met his parents' dreams for years, and next year it is time for *your* dreams to matter. You know, his wife!

And stay home (or visit your parents!).

[Anonymous]

Why do his parents' dreams/fantasies trump your REALITY? One night and one night only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a hotel room. Say that it's because of naps.

Get a hotel room. Don't offer an excuse or an explanation. Why on Earth do you have to explain yourself, let alone invent a lie?

[Anonymous]

Think of an errand you need to do OUT of the house every day. If you feel like it, take one of your kids with you, but that's not required. BAIL on your DH and let him deal with the two kids and the madness a bit.

But yeah, this sounds like way too many people in one house. Maybe for one night I'd do it, but not more than that.

[Anonymous]

HOTEL. HOTEL. Too bad if they don't like it.