Controlling behavior
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Anonymous
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ADHD/anxiety son is8. He wakes up extremely early (530). Then he refuses to stay quiet in his room or go downstairs to watch tv alone. He comes into our room wakes everyone up. Refuses to do anything alone so I have to get out of bed with him and take him
Downstairs. If I leave him for a minute he whines and yells and wakes up the house. It's an awful way to start the day. We have promised him rewards/points etc. he does not care. Please please help. This is not a normal environment for anyone |
Anonymous
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Punishment.
Are you the poster who posted a few weeks ago with a child this age who won't go play in the basement alone, won't do anything alone? Whining and yelling is not a way to go through life. You didn't put up with this when he was 2 years old. Why are you putting up with it now? Why do you HAVE to do what he wants? Really, OP. Why? Time to sit down with this child and explain the rules. His anxiety is not to blame for parenting fail. |
Anonymous
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You must put a stop to this behavior.
It is behavior. It is not anxiety. Yes, you will see an "extinction burst" -- his behavior will get worse while you ignore it and put an end to it. But he can and will stop this stuff. |
Anonymous
| I know I can't indulge the behavior. It just seems he has zero consideration for everyone else that is sleeping. He screams so loud and just wakes us up. It's very impossible to ignore a screaming child in your room at 530am. I hope after a few days it will change |
Anonymous
| Behavior chart. When he comes in your room yelling. Ignore. It will be hell on Earth for a couple of days. Is you or your husband particularly weak? The weak one may need to leave the house. |
Anonymous
| I made a chart. He couldn't care less. In fact he just whined snore about the fact that he's not getting points for morning behavior. So that's just another thing for him to whine abot |
Anonymous
| More. Not snore |
Anonymous
| If there were a mattress on the floor in your room, would he come in and lay down and let everyone sleep? Sorry, op. That must be very frustrating. |
Anonymous
Lock your door. Install a lock. Now. Have a family meeting. Include this child. Out the behavior. "Tomorrow morning when Larlo gets up at 5:30, none of us are going to be getting up. Larlo, do you understand that? No one else is going to be getting up with you?" If Larla screams, whines, and cries, the plan should be that there is ZERO payoff. Lock on your bedroom door. Send other kids away for a week to friend's houses or grandparents. You need to handle this like a priority. |
Anonymous
Whining needs to go on the chart too. How often do you award him prizes? It may need to be something immediate and you have to stay on top of if every damn minute. You are going to have to ignore these behaviors. It is hard. This is not a magic bullet. I would guess 30 days minimum of charting good, awarding behavior with something very motivating and ignoring bad. I can tell how frustrated you are, and have never met you. He is in control and he knows it. I also agree with the poster who said stick a mattress on the floor. Maybe it could be an interim step to getting him to just go downstairs alone. |
Anonymous
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Is this you, OP:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/515685.page |
Anonymous
| These are good suggestions. I think I can have my husband and other son sleep in the basement for a few nights so they can sleep through it. I don't want to do the mattress on my floor because I think he will still annoy us after he has reached his limit of being quiet (which is not long). As for the reward chart- I was doing points. I kept it simple with only 4 behaviors on there. Some are easy and worth little points (getting dressed is 2). The biggies are morning behavior and night behavior (no yelling from bed) and worth 8 points. Then we thought about 3 rewards that are all worth different levels of points (computer time, Lego etc). |
Anonymous
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Yes |
Anonymous
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Controlling behavior/lack of flexibility is absolutely a sign of anxiety. He sees his world spiraling out of control, so he latches onto whatever he does have control over.
Who prescribes his ritalin? Stimulant medication can increase anxiety. My child's meltdowns and general frustration behaviors decreased dramatically with a small dose of SSRIs. |
Anonymous
I would seriously readdress his current medication with his psychiatrist. |