Took 9 months TTC #1, on month 7 for #2

[Anonymous]

No real question, more of a putty party, but feel free to give advice.

It took 9 months for my 1st at 31 and I was so discouraged. My mom had my little sis at 41, my TWIN sister conceived the first month trying for her 1st and 2nd, and I had started to fret about fertility treatments!

i hoped #2 would be easier just two years later. It's like riding a bike right??? I'm trying not to get too sad yet, but if I hit 9 months it's probably worth seeing someone.

We only want two but I swear, even if I do get pregnant I'm never going on BC again because we're clearly not a very fertile couple.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, autocorrect - *pity party

[Anonymous]

You've probably already done this, but just in case, have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility for best times to TTC? Are you using OPKs?

[Anonymous]

Sucks and I feel you. It took me 18 months to conceive the first at 33 and after 2 miscarriages I'm finally at 30 weeks and will deliver right before my 35th birthday.

[Anonymous]

I swear by the OPKs. We could have months of unprotected sex, but nothing happened. When we used the OPKs, boom, pregnant.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I read the book, am using OPKs, and checking cervical fluid. I love having the OPKs because it feels like concrete info but then I'm even more disappointed when I KNOW we timed it right. I'm just so jealous of everyone around me getting pregnant on the first go.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should see an RE. The 1 year suggestion is basically for people who have no idea what they are doing. I had trouble too, and it took me 2 years for #1 and 15 months for #2!with IVF finally working.
I didn't know this at the time, but of my friend who didn't have trouble, they got pregnant within the first 2 or three months.

[Anonymous]

You might not be ovulating. I'm newly pregnant, but that's what my RE found out. I was only ovulating every 3rd month or so. I have PCOS. We just couldn't get pregnant even though we timed it perfectly! It was baffling. Got pregnant first time I used Clomid.

[Anonymous]

It took me over two years to conceive my DD. It was awful. The few months before I finally got pregnant with her were the lowest of the low.

We're on month 6 of TTC #2. I didn't wait very long (started trying in June, she turned 1 in July). I seem to have a new problem this time, I've gotten pregnant twice and lost both. I'm glad we started a bit sooner than we felt ready since clearly this will take time.

I think it's better to think long range. You are only what 33 or 34? You have time. You want one more child and you have many years to do that. It will most likely happen, just maybe not on your exact time schedule. I give myself this pep talk all the time. I want at least one more kid, it will happen, it just might take time. I try to enjoy the sweet child I DO have and relish every day of her being my only.

Hang in there, have sex, and hopefully it happens soon for you!

[Anonymous]

So sorry you are going through this OP! It is really frustrating when what is easy for everyone around you is so hard for you. I don't think it's too soon to go see the doctor. I am having issues as well, and it is really helpful to me to know what the plan is if things don't happen naturally soon.

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. It took us 7 months to conceive DD and we're 6 months in trying for #2 now. I wanted so badly to conceive right away and not go through this whole process again. Now I've kind of resigned myself to accept that this is just how it is for us. I wish I hadn't gone on hormonal BC after DD was born and I've already decided I won't be going back on it again. I hope we both get our #2's soon!

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP.

It took us 13 months to conceive DC 1, including medical intervention, an IF diagnosis for me, and surgery.

We figured #2 would be super easy because we had "solved" our IF problem with #1, but not so... 18 months and an IUI later, we finally conceived #2. Diagnosis this time was "unexplained."

I agree with PP that you should see an RE sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat. 1 year for #1, and now he's 19 months old.. I never went on birth control, but did breastfeed 12 months. So I'm sort of counting this as 7 months trying. Even when we've had perfectly timed sex, still BFN. ah! And all my other friends who had baby #1 at the same time are pregnant with #2. But they all got pregnant easily the first time, so not surprising it'd be easy for them with #2. I naively hoped my system would correct itself, but it didn't, and I'm in the same boat. Again. It's so so demoralizing.

Best of luck - you're not alone!

[Anonymous]

Have you considered whether there's a male factor issue?

[Anonymous]

Fertility declines with age. What makes you think at 33 you would conceive faster than you did at 31? It's completely illogical...