When did you stop signing holiday cards from the whole family>

[Anonymous]

Our daughter is now in her mid20s, working professional, lives with her long-term boyfriend. We have two younger kids in their early teens. Our holiday cards have always read "Love, the Smiths. Dick, Jane, Larla, Larlo, and Aidan". I have always listed everyone since I don't like just saying "The Smiths", but it felt odd this year including her as a signatory. Of course the card has pictures of all of us, but she's now an adult with her own life. On the other hand, it would feel weird to simply drop her.

I could just ask her, but wanted anonymous feedback first.
Also, would your answer differ if I said we were a blended family, and the adult daughter is the biological daughter of only one of the parents?

[Anonymous]

If you are sending a card with everyone's picture, yes include her name.

[Anonymous]

My mom stopped when I married and sent out my own cards.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws still include all the names of their grown children, spouses, and grandchildren (with the picture of the whole group we try to take at some point during the year)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws still include all the names of their grown children, spouses, and grandchildren (with the picture of the whole group we try to take at some point during the year)

Oh, I should add that we do send out our own card – my husband and children and I – but I think both ways are fine. Most of the list doesn't overlap.

[Anonymous]

I think as soon as someone has their own independent household, they sign their own cards. So, if they're away at college or something, they'd stay on the cards, but once they're out in their own place, they can and should send their own cards.

Same answer for blended families. Whoever lives in the household would be named on the card, not someone who lives somewhere else and has their own household.

[Anonymous]

OP here, in case it wasn't clear. Her photo would still remain on the card, in the same way that photos of me and my family are on my parents' holiday card each year, it's just that the card isn't really from her since she no longer lives in the household.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure my mom ever put my name on the card. We were a blended family so the smiths followed by my name would have been incorrect since I'm jones. I think when someone pays their own rent is a good time to take them off the signatory list.

[Anonymous]

The second they graduated college. When your house stopped being her home.

[Anonymous]

I am mid-thirties with a husband and two kids and have been sending my own card for years. Same with my sibling. My parents still send a card with pictures of the whole family (or sometimes one of them and the grandkids, and then separate pictures of the kids families) and sign it "from our family to yours." Not a blended family if it matters but I don't think there is a right or a wrong here. I'd say though, in your situation I would probably keep everyone on (and keep adding) until the kids suggest otherwise or alternatively wait until all the kids were old enough to be off the card. If it doesn't feel weird to your DD or SDD, I don't think what anyone else thinks really matters.

[Anonymous]

I'd say keep her on. Coming from the perspective that my in-laws send a card from them, my dh and me, my BIL and his girlfriend, and their cats - other than the cats none of us live with them. We don't send a desperate card at the moment but will once we have kids. We fully expect my in-laws will continue to send a joint card from all of us.

[Anonymous]

Whoops - auto correct changed separate to desperate

[Anonymous]

My two older kids are 24 and 21 and live on their own. We agreed to keep them on until they're ready to send out their own, and they both said that will be when they get married.

[Anonymous]

I think as soon as someone is old enough to write their name, they sign their own name to things.

I would find it incredibly annoying if my parents were signing my name to a card I had nothing to do with. Would you be OK with your kids signing your name to something they put together and sent to their friends?

[Anonymous]

We send holiday cards with everyone in the pictures and everyone's names, parents, grands, kids, and all spouses and sig others.