Would this bother you?

[Anonymous]

I'm probably way too sensitive but would this bother you? Parents live 6 hours away. We all always call each other on thanksgiving. They are 80 but have a more active social life than I do so they are in no way frail etc.
I left them a msg this morning. They haven't called me. I know they're fine, they were w one of my brothers in fact. But no call to me. Would this bother you?

[Anonymous]

Not if they are still with the brother. I'd expect a call in the car on the way home though. If you are alone, then I think it's ok to be annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Op here : I don't think they're with him anymore. They went to lunch a him. And no I have my own family - just ticked they haven't called.

[Anonymous]

Nope, wouldn't be ticked.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Did they call yet?

I would just be happy that you have both parents at that age who are happy and social. Don't sweat the small stuff.

[Anonymous]

I'd be worried first. Then I'd be a little hurt. Then I'd wonder if they are getting more forgetful as they age. And then when I got in contact with them, I'd ask what happened? I missed your call. I hope you had a nice TG. And see what they say.

[Anonymous]

I would love it if my parents were well enough, at almost 80, to be out and about and busy with celebrating.

My feelings might be hurt momentarily that they forgot me but I definitely wouldn't dwell on it.

Call your brother! Everything will be ok.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would be worried, then annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Why not focus on the fact that you have two parents who both are in such good shape that they get out and about? Rather than focusing on one phone call, how about thinking, "It's terrific they aren't sitting home taking a dozen meds and being depressed at the loss of their mobility"--? Too many of us have parents who can't even get out their own doors due to physical health, or who are suffering the depression that too often comes with old age and makes older people avoid social situations. I hope you can stop to give thanks that your parents are in such good physical and mental shape, and focus on that rather than on one phone call. I'd be delighted to think that my mom was so busy being social and active and out of the house that she couldn't stop to call me just yet. I wish that were the case.

If you're genuinely worried that something has happened to them (and not just sore that they haven't called you), call the local brother and tell him that. He can go out and look for them. You can't do anything, from a distance.

[Anonymous]

No. As you get older, priorities change, not necessarily consciously. I expect they are not intentionally being neglectful. Furthermore, some family traditions are lame.