Visiting Mom
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Anonymous
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I love my mom. Let me start with that.
Mom lives in a 900 sq ft apt with my younger, failed to launch, brother, three small dogs, and her loser unemployed alcoholic boyfriend. My brother's GF stays over a lot, too. It's a full house, to say the least. Recently my husband, my toddler, and I visited for the first time. (It's a nine hour drive from DC.) We slept in Mom's small bedroom, Mom and the BF slept in the office, brother and the GF slept in his room. It was tight and stressful, and because Mom won't introduce the loser BF to the rest of the family, she skipped out on meals at my aunt's house with the lie that she had to work. Instead she stayed home with the BF, who also doesn't drive. I grew up in this apartment and I feel guilty for visiting just once in 3+ years. And I feel guilty for not wanting to go back anytime soon. The loser boyfriend has put me over the edge. Mom says he's not a bad guy and he's going through a rough time and blah blah blah. But am I a terrible person for avoiding this situation and using my vacation time for an actual vacation? I'm sure her feelings would be hurt if I told her the truth. And she'd be hurt if we stayed with other family or friends. |
Anonymous
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Can you pay for her travel expenses so that she can come and visit you? No need to invite the BF. |
Anonymous
| Nope, you're not a terrible person. |
Anonymous
| Maybe you could have your mom go on a vacation with you to another destination? |
Anonymous
| Stay in a hotel and plan lots of outings/activities with her and with the people you actually want to see. |
Anonymous
| I never understood why people in these types of situations don't stay in hotels. Are you THAT afraid of your mom? |
Anonymous
+1000 You don't want to stay with your mom in those living conditions but you don't want to stay somewhere else because it would hurt her feelings. You have to make a choice. |
Anonymous
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Isn't it better to see her for a weekend with a hotel as the home base than not to see her?
If you have changed as a family (in quantity) since you were a kid, and the apt is the same size, it is just physics. You need more space. |