Can we just buy presents for the kids already?

[Anonymous]

I am so sick of doing the obligatory gift thing. Every year I rack my brains for ideas for my parents and DH's parents. They already have everything! They are retired and buy whatever they want. As a result either they ask for things that are really challenging to find (antique items from eBay) or odd hobby items (homemade fishing lures, etc). It is HARD! I don't have TIME! Plus DH and I are really struggling financially and spending $50 per person on christmas is killing us.

I would prefer that we not exchange gifts, but the catch is that DH and I have two kids. Of course the grandparents should buy the kids gifts. Would it be too weird of me to suggest that we only buy for the kids in our family? But that would mean that our parents don't get presents from us, but are spending money on presents for our kids. Is this unfair? Anyone have suggestions for this? Our kids are too young for a secret santa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of doing the obligatory gift thing. Every year I rack my brains for ideas for my parents and DH's parents. They already have everything! They are retired and buy whatever they want. As a result either they ask for things that are really challenging to find (antique items from eBay) or odd hobby items (homemade fishing lures, etc). It is HARD! I don't have TIME! Plus DH and I are really struggling financially and spending $50 per person on christmas is killing us.

I would prefer that we not exchange gifts, but the catch is that DH and I have two kids. Of course the grandparents should buy the kids gifts. Would it be too weird of me to suggest that we only buy for the kids in our family? But that would mean that our parents don't get presents from us, but are spending money on presents for our kids. Is this unfair? Anyone have suggestions for this? Our kids are too young for a secret santa.

How about you select an experience for the adults? Like you all go to a play or a concert or a hike or Habitat for Humanity, make a memory together?

That's what we do. Gifts for kids. Experience for the adults.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, what is wrong with you people? All this hand-wringing about gifts. JUST INFORM YOUR FAMILY OF WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO, THEN DO IT.

"Mom and Dad, Christmas has gotten expensive and stressful for us, so we've decided to buy gifts for neices and nephews, and for the adults, to make a donation in their name to the United Way. If you want to get us something, we hope you'll consider donating to a charity of your choice, or perhaps giving us the gift of an extra visit with you this year."

It's not a discussion--just inform them what you plan to do, let them do what they want to do, and move on with your day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, what is wrong with you people? All this hand-wringing about gifts. JUST INFORM YOUR FAMILY OF WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO, THEN DO IT.

"Mom and Dad, Christmas has gotten expensive and stressful for us, so we've decided to buy gifts for neices and nephews, and for the adults, to make a donation in their name to the United Way. If you want to get us something, we hope you'll consider donating to a charity of your choice, or perhaps giving us the gift of an extra visit with you this year."

It's not a discussion--just inform them what you plan to do, let them do what they want to do, and move on with your day!

Ha!!! This would be the start of WWIII in our family. Seriously. It wouldn't just end there, there would be a litany of emails and phone calls of questioning, judging, condemning, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, what is wrong with you people? All this hand-wringing about gifts. JUST INFORM YOUR FAMILY OF WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO, THEN DO IT.

"Mom and Dad, Christmas has gotten expensive and stressful for us, so we've decided to buy gifts for neices and nephews, and for the adults, to make a donation in their name to the United Way. If you want to get us something, we hope you'll consider donating to a charity of your choice, or perhaps giving us the gift of an extra visit with you this year."

It's not a discussion--just inform them what you plan to do, let them do what they want to do, and move on with your day!

Ha!!! This would be the start of WWIII in our family. Seriously. It wouldn't just end there, there would be a litany of emails and phone calls of questioning, judging, condemning, etc.

SO WHAT? I mean really, you are an adult, you may do what you want. Be kind, be polite, but stand firm. Don't be a victim here.