Please help me figure out if I'm being paranoid or if this is grounds for concern.

[Anonymous]

DS will be 1 at Thanksgiving. I know, I know, I know ... this is really early. He is #2 and a very different baby from #1, although my extremely old-school mother and husband think I'm nuts to suspect anything. (These people would also not know a milestone if it bit them.) I just wonder if we're dealing with just a speech delay or possibly autistic behavior.

Here's what has me concerned:

- Speech. Just now starting to babble double syllables, definitely no words, and isn't seeming to pick up on the few signs I'm trying to teach him. Ped does CHADIS and at 9 months told us we might be on track for a speech delay.
- Responding to name. I would say he responds about 50% of the time. If he's absorbed in something, he's not going to respond, but if he hasn't seen you in a while or is not that into it, will respond immediately
- Hand flapping. Whenever he's excited, he does a double hand wave for a few seconds.
- Pointing is a little iffy. When he learned to point around 9/10 months it was all he did, but now he just kind of lunges and grunts most of the time.
- I am 38, DH is 42, and he's a male second child with only 2 years between the 2

The more normal behaviors:

- Loves, loves, loves his family - tons eye contact, transfixed by his sister and a total mama's boy, the cuddliest little guy ever, always wants you to pick him up and hold him
- Does play independently a lot but always eventually comes back to check in / be on your lap
- Very interested in other babies (incl pictures of babies in books, reflection, etc), likes to check out people when we're out and about (although shy if addressed directly, which my daughter was too)
- Interactive, always wants to show you his toy, and knows how to do a few simple things like high-five and cheers (albeit only with gestures)

I realize the answer is probably "wait and see" but I am really stressing this for some reason. Any advice as to whether I need to just chill out because this sounds normal, or am I right to be concerned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS will be 1 at Thanksgiving. I know, I know, I know ... this is really early. He is #2 and a very different baby from #1, although my extremely old-school mother and husband think I'm nuts to suspect anything. (These people would also not know a milestone if it bit them.) I just wonder if we're dealing with just a speech delay or possibly autistic behavior.

Here's what has me concerned:

- Speech. Just now starting to babble double syllables, definitely no words, and isn't seeming to pick up on the few signs I'm trying to teach him. Ped does CHADIS and at 9 months told us we might be on track for a speech delay.
- Responding to name. I would say he responds about 50% of the time. If he's absorbed in something, he's not going to respond, but if he hasn't seen you in a while or is not that into it, will respond immediately
- Hand flapping. Whenever he's excited, he does a double hand wave for a few seconds.
- Pointing is a little iffy. When he learned to point around 9/10 months it was all he did, but now he just kind of lunges and grunts most of the time.
- I am 38, DH is 42, and he's a male second child with only 2 years between the 2

The more normal behaviors:

- Loves, loves, loves his family - tons eye contact, transfixed by his sister and a total mama's boy, the cuddliest little guy ever, always wants you to pick him up and hold him
- Does play independently a lot but always eventually comes back to check in / be on your lap
- Very interested in other babies (incl pictures of babies in books, reflection, etc), likes to check out people when we're out and about (although shy if addressed directly, which my daughter was too)
- Interactive, always wants to show you his toy, and knows how to do a few simple things like high-five and cheers (albeit only with gestures)

I realize the answer is probably "wait and see" but I am really stressing this for some reason. Any advice as to whether I need to just chill out because this sounds normal, or am I right to be concerned?

Sounds like most males!

[Anonymous]

OP,

Get his hearing checked and stay away from Dr. Google. None of this would raise any red flags for me.

[Anonymous]

We learned eventually that being cuddly and sweet and engaging is not incompatible with HFA. But everything you say is also perfectly consistent with a neurotypical kid maybe developing on a slightly different track. He could be mildly autistic but at this point it's more likely that he's just gifted--which also often comes with mild speech delay, or something else or nothing at all. Don't stress. You will find him fantastic, and be right, however he turns out to be.

[Anonymous]

EI SLP here. Boys also tend to develop their motor skills before their language skills, whereas girls often do the opposite, making them seem more advanced when you compare them. You say he's babbling double syllables and not using any words-is he not using any sounds to represent things at all? For a 12 month old "wawa", "bobo", "meemee", etc are considered words if he uses them consistently to refer to something. How is he communicating with you?

The not responding to his name is the only item that's a bit worrisome-get his hearing checked to make sure that he doesn't have fluid in his ears or some other issue. If a child isn't bothered by it it's not uncommon for them to have ear infections without anyone ever realizing and that impacts what they're hearing in their environment. Another trick that we use is having the parent give a direction or call the child's name while sitting on their hands. It's so natural to give visual cues when we ask something that it can cover up that the child isn't understanding what's being said and are just relying on environmental cues.

Take a deep breath, OP. It's good that you're paying attention to these things but it can also make you feel a little overwhelmed. The hearing is the most important piece you can follow up on now. That can be addressed medically if it's a problem. If it isn't, that's a relief from your mind and important information for EI providers. I generally recommend that parents wait until 15-16 months before getting an EI assessment for expressive language only, if for no other reason than it can be difficult to qualify before that age because it's not outside of the range of normal to have first words at 15 months. However, if you're feeling stressed, get the assessment scheduled and see what the professionals say. A neutral party coming in and playing with you and your child can sometimes see things that you might have been overlooking because your attention was focused elsewhere.

I hope this was helpful! He sounds like a sweet little boy.

[Anonymous]

Nothing sounds abnormal to me. Most kids this age won't respond to their name when they are absorbed. No child will ever respond all the time.

All babies hand flap when they are excited. It's totally normal. It's striking when an older child does it.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, everybody, for your feedback. This is so helpful, esp. the EI info! I will look into getting his hearing checked. The ped also said not to call EI unless he has no words at 15 months (and that it doesn't have to be a "recognizable" word to anyone but me - although he definitely does not even have that yet), but I've just been fretting so much that maybe the hearing test would be a good idea. My daughter was the exact opposite - ridiculously verbal but slow on gross motor - so it's a little confusing. He's my sweet guy, though, and if there is anything amiss I just want to make sure he gets the best care as soon as possible ...

[Anonymous]

Sounds normal. I don't think my son said anything except mama till 16 mo, now at 2.5 he has huge vocab. Other things you describe sound normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, everybody, for your feedback. This is so helpful, esp. the EI info! I will look into getting his hearing checked. The ped also said not to call EI unless he has no words at 15 months (and that it doesn't have to be a "recognizable" word to anyone but me - although he definitely does not even have that yet), but I've just been fretting so much that maybe the hearing test would be a good idea. My daughter was the exact opposite - ridiculously verbal but slow on gross motor - so it's a little confusing. He's my sweet guy, though, and if there is anything amiss I just want to make sure he gets the best care as soon as possible ...

stop comparing the two. Every child has his/her own path.

[Anonymous]

Sounds a little late for language but all else sounds normal! And even the later babbling can be normal. But I would get hearing checked. One of my kids had not babbled by 8 months and pediatrician said it was normal as long as it happened by 12 months. I disagreed and turns out she has hearing loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, everybody, for your feedback. This is so helpful, esp. the EI info! I will look into getting his hearing checked. The ped also said not to call EI unless he has no words at 15 months (and that it doesn't have to be a "recognizable" word to anyone but me - although he definitely does not even have that yet), but I've just been fretting so much that maybe the hearing test would be a good idea. My daughter was the exact opposite - ridiculously verbal but slow on gross motor - so it's a little confusing. He's my sweet guy, though, and if there is anything amiss I just want to make sure he gets the best care as soon as possible ...

Stop fretting. Stop comparing your kids. Get his hearing checked. And call EI in 3 months if still no words and there's no hearing issue.