Parents how do you make your career work when talking care of a child with a disability?

[Anonymous]

What is your chosen field?

[Anonymous]

My chosen field would have required at least 60 hour weeks. I quit to stay home.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't the only reason but I quit as the number of appointments mounted.

[Anonymous]

It was too hard to work so I SAH now,

[Anonymous]

DH works and I am at home. We have two children with special needs that are not the same. I would probably still be working if only one of them was SN. Two put us over the line for our family

Of the families I know where both parents work full time and have at least one SN child, at least one parent has a very flexible schedule and in some cases both parents have flexible schedules. Some have additional family in the area that help out when things get hairy. We had neither. It was a no brainer that I stay home since DH made 50% more than me and had better prospects down the line.

[Anonymous]

I work for a tech company (not a start-up). I worked there before she was ever born. The nanny takes her to her therapies, we do therapy homework when DH or I get home at night (whoever gets home first) and every two weeks DH or I go to therapy to check in with the therapist directly.

[Anonymous]

My oldest has ASD and significant disabilities (will never live independently).

I highly recommend a job/career where you are not managing people or traveling a lot. My advice is not about specific careers, but just the whole career thing in general.

You are going to meet a lot of people (women mainly) who quit their "careers" due to a SN child.

I quit my career when he was a toddler. When he started school I went back to work part time and though it isn't a "career", I am contributing financially to the family, and enjoy my job and my co-workers.

I encourage you to not think of your life as having one trajectory. You may need a stay at home parent during the younger years for childcare, doctor's appointments, therapies, etc. When they get into school, this parent may be able to work part or full time, if they want to.

[Anonymous]

I don't. My job wasn't family friendly and my boss was a nightmare. I quit. I didn't want to get another job with all the therapy and other appointments. Just not worth the drama or stress.

[Anonymous]

I work as a trial attorney and my spouse is in healthcare administration. Both are big jobs and we have three kids. I found that I have to make myself be flexible. I prefer to do my work at certain times, but there is no reason I couldn't work longer some says and take off early or come in late so I can handle all of the necessary appointments. But, it's definitely busy and in the early years, there was no "me" time at all. We are lucky because some of the disabilities that were expected to be permanent and were expected to result in the need for lifelong care improved beyond what was expected. So, the last year has been pretty easy for me.

[Anonymous]

I work for the Federal Government, have been at same place for ten years so have built up some credibility and no longer have to prove myself. I am bored but can't pursue something new at this time so just make the best of it. I work part time and from home twice a week. I use FMLA (DH has ASD diagnosis).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work for the Federal Government, have been at same place for ten years so have built up some credibility and no longer have to prove myself. I am bored but can't pursue something new at this time so just make the best of it. I work part time and from home twice a week. I use FMLA (DH has ASD diagnosis).

I also work for the Federal Government (State Dept). For a few years I did a jobshare. But I've been back full time for two years already. We have an after school nanny. I also use FMLA, whiCh I invoke intermittently for a child with ASD.

I'm surrounded by smart people and work on interesting, meaningful issues, so I have not given up my career. That said, i rarely travel overseas, despite the numerous opportunities and the fact that it would be career advantageous. And I "clock out" at 5 pm. So let's just say I'm not rising through the ranks as I once thought I would be. But those are the choices we make.

[Anonymous]

It's hard. My kid got sick and disabled at 3 so we weren't born like this and didn't have our world fall apart until a few years later. I had gone back to work after my second pregnancy and already had a nanny. Since then, we have kept with nannies/sitters and now have our second au pair. She takes her to therapy sessions 4 days a week after school. It is extremely stressful and never feels good or comfortable. Now in first grade. If I could afford to work part time, I would ask for it as a federal gov't attorney. Between private school tuition and an aide and mortgage and so much time off, we need two salaries. Neither of us is in the private sector making a huge salary. Career wise, I keep plodding along. I leave when I need to and no one ever complains (I do work at night sometimes) b/c they realize that I have to take her to these appointments. I am lucky to have an understanding boss. It makes me fear switching jobs so I feel stuck.

[Anonymous]

i try to go above and beyond with work so i have good will when i need it. i have been known to come straight home from the hospital with my child and get right on my laptop and dive into work and help out. i have to think that that busy me good will when i need to take time off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard. My kid got sick and disabled at 3 so we weren't born like this and didn't have our world fall apart until a few years later. I had gone back to work after my second pregnancy and already had a nanny. Since then, we have kept with nannies/sitters and now have our second au pair. She takes her to therapy sessions 4 days a week after school. It is extremely stressful and never feels good or comfortable. Now in first grade. If I could afford to work part time, I would ask for it as a federal gov't attorney. Between private school tuition and an aide and mortgage and so much time off, we need two salaries. Neither of us is in the private sector making a huge salary. Career wise, I keep plodding along. I leave when I need to and no one ever complains (I do work at night sometimes) b/c they realize that I have to take her to these appointments. I am lucky to have an understanding boss. It makes me fear switching jobs so I feel stuck.

This is me exactly. I am in-house counsel at a mid size company. I work early in the morning and late at night on my laptop and leave the office when I need to. I was with the company seversl years before my son was diagnosed so I have experience and a good reputation. I am very lucky to have a flexible company.

[Anonymous]

I work as an in- house counsel too. Have been with my company for 14 years. Flexible hours and good pay but I always take my laptop home and check email even on days I'm off. My children's needs are a priority but I am also careful to make sure my internal client's needs are met. My husband has been with his company for 25 years and can work from home if in a pinch. My two kids with special needs are entering teenage years so don't need as much supervision and can spend time at home alone. We just make it work the best we can.