Polite way to suggest where to get gifts?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I tend to think that you don't get to dictate gifts and you just say thank you regardless of what you get - but last year we got a huge suitcase full of gifts (literally had to buy a second suitcase to take them back and still couldn't pack them all), many of these were cheap flimsy sets with dozens of pieces that get lost under the couch, stuck between cushions, etc. We let the kids play with them for a bit and threw a lot of it out after a couple months. This year my husband would like to direct people towards a company that does simple toys that enhance fine motor skills and a book sale the kids' school is sponsoring, which has books on the recommended reading list. I would much prefer these kinds of gifts also, but I don't know how to couch my husband's request. It just seems presumptive that (1) our kids will get presents from these people and (2) we should get say in it. Obviously we have say in which gifts they get to keep and for how long, and my relatives don't want to give something that is just a waste of space - so if they knew, then they'd appreciate knowing what works for us. I think they'll appreciate the information once they have it, but I just can't imagine an appropriate way to convey it. Ideas? |
Anonymous
| There is no appropriate way unless you are asked. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| You don't. You buy your kids what you want and say thank you to others for what they buy. |
Anonymous
| I think you can direct if asked for gift suggestions. Otherwise, keep quiet. |
Anonymous
This. If they ask, you can say we'd love books or this or that, but only if they ask for suggestions. |
Anonymous
|
Are we talking grandparents? I think you can shoot grandparents a note letting them know about the book sale. You could phrase it as "If you're thinking about getting books for the kids, check out this list--it has lots of great books and the kids are really excited about it!" You could also say something like, "The kids have really been loving their toys from X Company and Y Company, if you need any ideas!"
Anyone else, you wait until you're asked. |
Anonymous
|
Not much to do unless you are asked. When you are asked, be direct about what you like and why.
We keep an Amazon list for our kids. My family tends to use the list. DH's family prefers to choose themselves. After a few repeat gifts (which now is obvious because my 5 year old has not learned to keep quiet and just say thank you), they are now starting to ask. With gifts you don't like, send a thoughtful thank you and then donate away. |
Anonymous
| Wow. And my mom thinks I'm elitist. |
Anonymous
| The only way you can bring this up is to reach out to the people you're getting gifts for and ask if there are any particular companies they like gifts from, and then see if they ask what kinds of gifts your kids want. But if they don't ask, you can't tell them. |
Anonymous
| Nope. |
Anonymous
| If they are grandparents, you can make suggestions or say you really love the toys at wherever. Just be prepared for them to ignore you? |
Anonymous
Another in agreement. You can't specify stores or catalogs, it's simply rude. |
Anonymous
|
I have a great relationship with Inlaws, including SILs and BIL. We're just transparent and tell each other these things. We also exchange with DH cousin and his family and they're the same.
If it's not family, you're kinda stuck unless asked. |