Not even married yet, but sometimes feel bored!

[Anonymous]

We have been dating for over a year, and we have had serious talks of engagement, family planning, and all the works. But lately I feel so bored with us in the metropolitan area. Everything has always felt natural and fun, but now we seem to be two very boring and comfortable people. We don't live together, but we spend all our weekends together at his place or mine. We have hobbies and interests, but as the season gets colder we are limited to more indoor activities. We have visited museums in DC, we have done things in VA and MD like Great Falls and Billy Goat Trail, and we have exhausted most of the typical date places. Any suggestions or tips on how to better this relationship and make it exciting or at least interesting again?

I know for sure I want to be his wife and the mother of his children, I'm not questioning that at all. I just need suggestions for physical activities that yield to more excitement.

[Anonymous]

Naked Sunday's?

That was our go to. Now with kids we miss those days so much.

[Anonymous]

Porn.

[Anonymous]

Do something that gets your hearts racing. White water rafting, rifle range etc. That is actually empirically effective to enhance love between couples - when people do something highly exciting with their partner, they interpret the anxious-excited feelings as romantic love. It works! Tons of studies on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do something that gets your hearts racing. White water rafting, rifle range etc. That is actually empirically effective to enhance love between couples - when people do something highly exciting with their partner, they interpret the anxious-excited feelings as romantic love. It works! Tons of studies on it.

Yes, share a new experience. When DH and I were dating, we found cool activities on Groupon or Living Social. Boat rides / cruises on the Potomac, bike rides on Mt. Vernon trail, tubing in WV, weekend trip to a new place (Wintergreen or Massanutten?), etc.

[Anonymous]

If you feel bored now...honestly, don't get married anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned you have hiked Billy Goat trail, have you hiked up Old Rag Mountain?

[Anonymous]

Travel.

[Anonymous]

Get your own friends, have girls/guys nights out. Don't rely on each other to be your only source of fun.

[Anonymous]

Jesus, how old are you? You sound like a four year old who needs constant diversion and attention. If you are bored, it is because YOU are boring and lack the mental resources to entertain yourself. Go read a fucking book or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, how old are you? You sound like a four year old who needs constant diversion and attention. If you are bored, it is because YOU are boring and lack the mental resources to entertain yourself. Go read a fucking book or something.

LOL exactly!

[Anonymous]

I found, right around the time I met my husband and got married, that I was honestly sick of my whole life being just about me and what I wanted to do. I was in my early 30's, I had travelled and established a career, I had hobbies and interests. But I was bored with my life. For me, getting married and having kids was great -- it wasn't all about me any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your own friends, have girls/guys nights out. Don't rely on each other to be your only source of fun.

This. It's not your partner's job to keep you entertained. If you haven't realized that yet, maybe you are not ready to settle down.

[Anonymous]

Suggestion: Go skydiving or bungee jumping together. That's a thrill.

My 2 cents: I do believe it's vital for long-term couples to be able to have fun together, I don't buy into the DCUM mantra that you can't expect to have that with your spouse, but there's a point in every lasting relationship when it's all about the thrill, that's not the same as boredom. So think very carefully about what you want with this guy especially if you are thinking kids because life with kids can get very routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, how old are you? You sound like a four year old who needs constant diversion and attention. If you are bored, it is because YOU are boring and lack the mental resources to entertain yourself. Go read a fucking book or something.

Amen