I think my kid is failing this semester

[Anonymous]

Not talking a B or C, I think he's in danger of getting a D or F in 3 of 4 classes and no hope of getting higher than a C in any course (he's in his 3rd semester). He's already dropped his hardest class this semester. We've always taken a more hands-off approach to kids' coursework and grades (definitely compared to some of the parents I see around here) and that approach worked well for our 2 older kids (now 20 somethings) and seemed to be working fine for this one as well. But college just hasn't "clicked" for him (he was a solid B+ high school student). From what I can tell he attends lectures, goes to regular tutoring and doesn't seem to have outstanding assignments. When we talk to him, he seems genuinely frustrated with his grades (for example, he'll go to lecture, office hours, tutor, etc, feels like he does ok and the test and when he gets it back it's a 69 or 73). He's no doubt been having fun in college and seems happy with his life outside of the classroom. The fun seems to be limited to Friday nights and Saturdays. Anytime I talk to him on a Sunday he's been sleeping or studying. Overall, he feels he is where he should be (meaning he wants a career that requires a college degree and he likes his college and college location).

Anyway, it feels like we're watching a train wreck in slow motion. I don't know what, if anything, I could do. Or should do.

[Anonymous]

Does he like his major/classes?

[Anonymous]

It's likely you're not getting the whole story. Kids who go to class, do their assignments, and visit a tutor don't usually get D's and F's. I don't have any answers for you but I'm sure he knows the consequences of the bad grades. Maybe he'll do better at a local school.

[Anonymous]

Things don't seem to add up. I've never met anyone who did all the assignments, went to office hours, tutoring, partied only on weekends and still failed. Are you sure you are getting the whole truth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he like his major/classes?

He's still in some of those 2nd year big lecture-type classes which he says are "fine". Otherwise, he hasn't complained and seems to enjoy the 2 smaller classes he's in. He's always wanted to be a business major with a strong analytical base (likely econ or finance).

[Anonymous]

I was an engineering major, lived in the library and was in danger of failing every one of my first 4 semesters. Junior and senior years were much better.

[Anonymous]

Probably he went to an inadequate high school. did your older kids go to the same or a similar college?

The high school really matters. The average grade for a graduate from PG highschools in freshman math at UMD is D. He may need some community college to catch up.

[Anonymous]

Business major? How is it possible to be failing if he is doing all that he says? Undergrad business is not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Business major? How is it possible to be failing if he is doing all that he says? Undergrad business is not that hard.

Helpful. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this college is just too hard for him and he needs an easier one.

[Anonymous]

If he writes really poorly, it is indeed possible to hand things in and still fail. How well does he write.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this college is just too hard for him and he needs an easier one.

I've actually wondered about this. What's an easier college? I have a niece who went to a no name college in Pennsylvania that seemed to make every course and requirement ridiculously hard (the idea was that when these grads went out to the working world, they'd cast a good reflection in their school). Without this firsthand account, I would have assumed this college was easy.

[Anonymous]

Have him screened for depression

[Anonymous]

I fell flat on my face my freshman year, ultimately ended up getting kicked out. I went to CC, rebuilt my GPA, and returned to school a wiser and more mature student.

Maybe that's his fate.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps his studying and test taking skills are not compatible in college - a new environment. How is he in reading and note-taking? Does he understand the assignments and test questions? Any distraction in college that he is having issue with? roommate, dorm, food, home sickness, etc.