Would you bring your young children to a work party?

[Anonymous]

A colleague invited everyone in our office to a holiday party at his home. The party says to bring your family. I have 3 young kids-ages 9,7 and 5. They are generally well behaved, but at this age, you never know when you are going to have a meltdown, etc. I just started working at this firm six months ago and am still trying to make a good impression. Almost everyone else (including the hosts) are 10-20 years older than me with grown children...so there won't be a lot of young kids there. I should decline, right?

[Anonymous]

If they will be the only young children, I would leave them home with a babysitter.

What time is the party? I would be more inclined to bring them to a daytime party than an evening party.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but only because you are new there. Next year, bring your kids.

[Anonymous]

Why not just get a sitter and go? My kids can be skittish in a large group environment, so I undrstand feeling cautious about bringing them. But you can still go without them.

[Anonymous]

If you are sure that there won't be kids of a similar age, I advise you just go by yourself this year, to check out the vibe. Then you'll know what to do for next year.

DH used to work for someone who held wonderful child-friendly Christmas parties. There were kids of all ages, from infants in arms to teenagers. Employees who were musical turned up with their instruments, and played carols, someone dressed up as Santa and there was a gift swap for the kids. It was great.

[Anonymous]

It's a on a Sunday afternoon.

[Anonymous]

6 months on the job with your colleagues 10-20 yrs older, I wouldn't bring them. Just get a sitter for them, go by yourself or with DH and say -- oh we wanted to bring them, but they had soccer/choir/whatever.

I imagine at those ages on a Sunday afternoon, they'd do fine BUT being the only kids -- they may get bored, and that's when kids start to get antsy, goof around with each other etc. You don't really know your colleagues yet and I find that people who raised their own kids 10-20 yrs ago have VERY short memories about how kids behave; you may get some raised eyebrows if your kids act normally but not like perfect angels.

[Anonymous]

I'd bring my kids who are 2.5 and 4, but it'd because they shine in public and save their tantrums for home. I wouldn't stay more than two hours.

[Anonymous]

No, I would not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If you are sure that there won't be kids of a similar age, I advise you just go by yourself this year, to check out the vibe. Then you'll know what to do for next year.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you are sure that there won't be kids of a similar age, I advise you just go by yourself this year, to check out the vibe. Then you'll know what to do for next year.

+1

This. Get a sitter, network, get to know people outside of the office. Without other children their age, you have the potential to have to entertain them, which won't leave you much time to socialize and network. If you get a sitter, you have the freedom to relax and get to know people without worrying about what your kids are getting into (or without them telling you they are bored every 5 minutes).

[Anonymous]

Our agency head once held a Sunday afternoon party at his house. From what I was told, not a single person brought their children even though we were told we could. (I didn't attend because we had a prior engagement.)

I wouldn't bring your children unless you know some other young children will be there.

[Anonymous]

I'm in this position -- parties are "bring your family," yet I am the only one with a young child. Don't do it. We brought our six year old daughter once to an afternoon barbecue and it was terribly awkward. No meltdowns, but she was just out of place. The adults stand around sipping wine and discussing work. I had to leave my husband and daughter sitting together while I circulated for a half hour and then we left. Never again. Unless you know there are at least 2 other children -- I mean children -- there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd bring my kids who are 2.5 and 4, but it'd because they shine in public and save their tantrums for home. I wouldn't stay more than two hours.

Well behaved or not, it may be awkward to be at a work party being the only one with kids in tow, especially as the new person in the office.

OP, get a sitter.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the office. My boss always says 'bring your family' and he means it - and we all bring the kids. They all run around the back yard and the boss loves it (boss is 70 and most of us are 30-40 with 1-3 kids).

But I agree with PPs - check to see if other kids will be there.