Thanksgiving with just the three of us

[Anonymous]

Both of our families are out of town and divorced. They have "local" grandchildren that they spend the holidays with (and there are other complications there, as well). DH's sister is local but has generally spent T-giving with her husband's family. That has left us with no one to be with on Thanksgiving. In the past, we've had a couple of close friends/their kids that we've had very nice Thanksgivings with. But, one family moved overseas. The other moved to their home state. So, we have no one to be with on Thanksgiving aside from each other.

Of course, we are happy to be together. But, frankly, we are all extroverts and like being with friends/family. And, we do make an effort to have lots of family time outside of holidays so it's not like us being together is out of the ordinary. It's turning out to be just any other day. I think we are all a little bummed. And no one is excited about making a big dinner for 3 people.

If you are in a similar situation what do you plan to do to make the day extra special? We already volunteer and plan to adopt a family for Thanksgiving. I know that people have it worse, and it's a first world problem and all of that.

[Anonymous]

Not sure what you mean by adopt a family--buy groceries for them or have them over? So I'll respond in this fashion:

I'm in LA (used to be in DC so still on DCUM) and my alma mater UCLA just sent an email "Host a UCLA student for Thanksgiving Dinner."

I'm sure that there are programs at the local colleges that will let you do this. There was even a thread here on DCUM about parents who can't afford to bring back their kid for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Or, another idea is just to do part of the day with the neighbors or a school family.

[Anonymous]

OP - it's always just the three of us for Thanksgiving. We go out to eat. Its lovely and something we look forward to- we dress up and eat ourselves silly and have a great time. No clean up- kid watches a movie in the afternoon, we nap, then go look at Christmas lights or play board games. Love it.

[Anonymous]

It's just me (single) and my mom (widowed) for thanksgiving and we still do s big dinner and use the fancy plates and spend hours cooking. Be grateful you have a third!

[Anonymous]

To be honest, we go to Mexico every Thanksgiving. We host a "Friendsgiving" a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving and that satisfies our "have a big dinner! turkey! friends! lots of company!" feelings. We invite single neighbors, if we know someone's been laid off we invite them so they have an option other than traveling far, we invite people from work if we think they might not have other plans (we just guess on this one).

So for example, last year at Friendsgiving in addition to friends, we had our single gay bachelor neighbor, a guy in DH's band, a lady working in town from one of our other offices out of state, and the receptionist where I work who is an older lady whose children live out of town. Maybe you could invite some stragglers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what you mean by adopt a family--buy groceries for them or have them over? So I'll respond in this fashion:

I'm in LA (used to be in DC so still on DCUM) and my alma mater UCLA just sent an email "Host a UCLA student for Thanksgiving Dinner."

I'm sure that there are programs at the local colleges that will let you do this. There was even a thread here on DCUM about parents who can't afford to bring back their kid for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Or, another idea is just to do part of the day with the neighbors or a school family.

I bet the naval academy would have a similar program.

[Anonymous]

Have a destination Thanksgiving. For example, the Hyatt in Cambridge MD is a fun place to spend a few days & they serve a Tgiving dinner in their restaurant.

[Anonymous]

We used to do Adopt a Family at work, and I think it just means you gather up some presents for them for the holidays.

OP, I get it. I wish I had a large happy picture-perfect family to gather for holidays. I plan being thankful for the small family I have: There are three of us, plus my mom is here for a couple of months (she lives overseas). I don't know if I have a big dinner in me; I will outsource if I have to. I'm just thankful to be off and spend some time with my boys and my mom

[Anonymous]

I hear you. This Thanksgiving it'll just be me and my newborn. I'll eat leftovers the next day.

Do a 5k or a family hike, cook a turkey and donate it, order Wegmans or Whole Foods, volunteer at an animal shelter, Facetime with family, watch football....just keep busy so you won't feel alone.

[Anonymous]

We're actually pretty excited to be just the three of us. Our plans have unexpectedly changed and we will be here by ourselves. DC and I are also super extroverts. I'm already floating ideas to friends who may or may not be around that day, but might be back from their own travels on Friday or Saturday. Also, think beyond close friends. Do you have any neighbors, colleagues, acquaintances who aren't going anywhere? Invite them over, you never know they might be your future close friends.

What do you enjoy doing? We're doing a Turkey Trot and are already planning to use Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas, which is something that usual is a rush job the following week. Do you FB? Post a message "Hi friends, who will be around Fri or Sat? We're thinking of doing XXX and would love some company!" Personally we're excited by the possibilities of an unexpected five days together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of our families are out of town and divorced. They have "local" grandchildren that they spend the holidays with (and there are other complications there, as well). DH's sister is local but has generally spent T-giving with her husband's family. That has left us with no one to be with on Thanksgiving. In the past, we've had a couple of close friends/their kids that we've had very nice Thanksgivings with. But, one family moved overseas. The other moved to their home state. So, we have no one to be with on Thanksgiving aside from each other.

Of course, we are happy to be together. But, frankly, we are all extroverts and like being with friends/family. And, we do make an effort to have lots of family time outside of holidays so it's not like us being together is out of the ordinary. It's turning out to be just any other day. I think we are all a little bummed. And no one is excited about making a big dinner for 3 people.

If you are in a similar situation what do you plan to do to make the day extra special? We already volunteer and plan to adopt a family for Thanksgiving. I know that people have it worse, and it's a first world problem and all of that.

Is there any way you can snag an invite to the local sister's family Thanksgiving? When I host, I look around for Thanksgiving orphans and invite. Not all accept, but any do.

Or post an open invitation on Facebook and see if any of your local friends bite.

[Anonymous]

I'd start looking around for other people who are having small gatherings and see if you can combine. Just start asking friends what their plans for Tday are. If someone say "we don't know" throw out an offer to come to your house.

I also think several PPs have great ideas. Shake it up and do something different. After my parents divorced there were a few Tdays were it was just me and my mom. We'd bake pies on Wednesday night, eat them for breakfast, and then head downtown to a musuem. Normally they were empty and it was really fun to have them almost to ourselves. Then we'd go out to eat somewhere with a big fancy Tday and my mom would leave an obnoxiously huge tip. We'd head home and eat more pie! All in all, those few years were some of my favorite Tdays.

[Anonymous]

SIL is going to a beach with our BIL's inlaws so we can't snag an invite.

I do want to ask some neighbors but don't want them to feel like they have to ask us to come. Most of our neighbors have local family. And, not everyone wants non-family invited to their family events. Maybe I just have to suck it up and do it but not sure how to do that w/o looking pushy.

Some of the other ideas are good ones. Are there museums and things open on T-giving? I just assumed everything was mostly closed.

[Anonymous]

Invite some local Naval Academy kids over. I know people who have done that

[Anonymous]

I did a lot of Thanksgivings with just me and my parents, especially when I was a pre-teen and teen.

My mom pulled out all the stops for cooking. I loved to help her. We had the tv on to the parade and my dad was putting up the tree. My mom was cooking up a storm, and I'd go back and forth between them to help out. It was super festive, and because we had also experienced big family Thanksgivings, it was just another variation on the holiday for me.