did you feel like you had to teach your child to read and write?

Anonymous
I have been parenting under the philosophy that at home I want learning to be fun. For example, we play rhyming games, do art projects, play board games, and read a ton, but I don't push on writing letters the correct way or push sounding out words to read every night (though some nights we do). I've been operating under the assumption that I could leave the more academic feel of learning to the school and at home teach through play.

After our kindergarten parent/teacher conference last night, I'm questioning this. My son was solidly in the the middle of the beginning and ending kindergarten reading benchmarks, but the teacher, instead of being positive about this, made it seem like we have a lot of work to do at home to get him to the end result. She asked us to work on holding the pencil correctly all the time, writing letters in the correct manner, doing flashcards for sight words, etc.

I get the importance of reinforcing teaching at home and I want to do it, but I felt like she wasn't suggesting working these things in to life, but rather doing a lot of drilling. I feel like if I got my kid to kindergarten already half way to the end of the year benchmark, what we're doing at home is working and adding in boring drills should not be necessary.

I guess with 28 kids in a class, it's going to be hard for the teacher to really teach kids at this age anything, but if I wanted to take on the responsibility of being my son's teacher, I need some training!

Is this the reality of school in FFX county, does my son have a teacher that is outside the norm, or are my expectations out of whack? I think I need a reality check!
Anonymous
I think it takes time to have a child read aloud and a parent should do that at home for practice. What schools can do more of though is work on handwriting and general motor skills and you should press your child's teacher to emphasize this. There's no reason these kids need to be on the computer so much. Have them draw more, have them write letters more, have them cut and glue and color more as a class.
Anonymous
Yes, parents are part of the teaching "team". This is true where ever you are and had been true since well forever. Reading to your child daily and helping him learn and write letters are part of parenting. So is sitting with them while they read to you daily and perhaps scribing for them if their printing lags. Exposing your child to other things like museums, music, art, theatre, swimming, bike riding, personal responsibility, character building activities....again all part of the parental compact.
Anonymous
Remember the benchmark is set for all students and is usually set at the 25 th or 16 th percentile. It is not set at the 50 th percentile nor does it represent "average". It is the bottom of low average and scoring below is a red flag for most students.
Anonymous
Drilling is unnecessary/inappropriate unless you have a kid that likes that kind of thing but offering abundant opportunities to practice wiring makes sense. Simple things like help you write grocery lists or make birthday cards.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Drilling is unnecessary/inappropriate unless you have a kid that likes that kind of thing but offering abundant opportunities to practice wiring makes sense. Simple things like help you write grocery lists or make birthday cards.


Ugh. "Wiring" should be "writing" of course.
Anonymous
yes! unfortunately, I found out too late and DD and DS never learned a correct pencil grip. It was impossible to fix the incorrect grip that they had become accustomed to.
Anonymous
We did the work before K, so yes, we did teach them to read and write. The school/teacher cannot do it alone. If the pencil grip is a problem do 1-2 sessions of OT.
Anonymous
Started the "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" when both our girls were 4. The older one finished by K, and was reading at PHS by sixth grade. The younger one finished by end of first grade and is at about grade level. Different kids learn at different rates.
Anonymous
Yes. I didn't expect this either.

Signed, mom of a k student
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have been parenting under the philosophy that at home I want learning to be fun. For example, we play rhyming games, do art projects, play board games, and read a ton, but I don't push on writing letters the correct way or push sounding out words to read every night (though some nights we do). I've been operating under the assumption that I could leave the more academic feel of learning to the school and at home teach through play.

After our kindergarten parent/teacher conference last night, I'm questioning this. My son was solidly in the the middle of the beginning and ending kindergarten reading benchmarks, but the teacher, instead of being positive about this, made it seem like we have a lot of work to do at home to get him to the end result. She asked us to work on holding the pencil correctly all the time, writing letters in the correct manner, doing flashcards for sight words, etc.

I get the importance of reinforcing teaching at home and I want to do it, but I felt like she wasn't suggesting working these things in to life, but rather doing a lot of drilling. I feel like if I got my kid to kindergarten already half way to the end of the year benchmark, what we're doing at home is working and adding in boring drills should not be necessary.

I guess with 28 kids in a class, it's going to be hard for the teacher to really teach kids at this age anything, but if I wanted to take on the responsibility of being my son's teacher, I need some training!

Is this the reality of school in FFX county, does my son have a teacher that is outside the norm, or are my expectations out of whack? I think I need a reality check!


OP - Did your child go to preschool or preK? I also am not keen on a drill and kill method of practice at home for my children and, like you, teach more through exposure to different games and activities that I know involve skills kids need to know. However, I have found that my almost 5 year old who is in preK this year is rapidly learning reading and writing through their more direct teaching methods. After reading your post, I am wondering if that will be sufficient for her Kindergarten prep or if I'm going to have to do even more.
Anonymous
I have a K student and have taken a similar approach to you, OP. We read a lot at home, and she writes letters and her name but she does that on her own, not because I ask her to. Between home and preschool she learned her letters and numbers, but was not reading before K. I have been impressed with her progress since she started K. She now knows lots of sight words and I ask her to read them when we come across them in books.

At her parent teacher conference the teacher did not express any concerns. She just asked that we keep reading a lot and work on word and letter recognition as we read. She did not say anything about benchmarks or percentiles.

We are not in FFX though and I don't know if that makes a difference.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have been parenting under the philosophy that at home I want learning to be fun. For example, we play rhyming games, do art projects, play board games, and read a ton, but I don't push on writing letters the correct way or push sounding out words to read every night (though some nights we do). I've been operating under the assumption that I could leave the more academic feel of learning to the school and at home teach through play.

After our kindergarten parent/teacher conference last night, I'm questioning this. My son was solidly in the the middle of the beginning and ending kindergarten reading benchmarks, but the teacher, instead of being positive about this, made it seem like we have a lot of work to do at home to get him to the end result. She asked us to work on holding the pencil correctly all the time, writing letters in the correct manner, doing flashcards for sight words, etc.

I get the importance of reinforcing teaching at home and I want to do it, but I felt like she wasn't suggesting working these things in to life, but rather doing a lot of drilling. I feel like if I got my kid to kindergarten already half way to the end of the year benchmark, what we're doing at home is working and adding in boring drills should not be necessary.

I guess with 28 kids in a class, it's going to be hard for the teacher to really teach kids at this age anything, but if I wanted to take on the responsibility of being my son's teacher, I need some training!

Is this the reality of school in FFX county, does my son have a teacher that is outside the norm, or are my expectations out of whack? I think I need a reality check!


Welcome to FCPS. I had the same problem. I don't know what is wrong with FCPS Kinder teachers right now. In the past, once a child hit the grade level benchmark, that was it. And most middle class kids without disabilities did, without too much effort on anyone's part. But the benchmark was put at what was cognitively appropriate for a child that age. Now suddenly FCPS kinder teachers want everyone to be above that mark, but it isn't appropriate for many children, especially boys. It's really bad for them to pressure them to do work their brains aren't ready for - it leads to a hatred of reading, anxiety, a dislike of school, and low self-esteem as a student. The benchmark itself hasn't been raised, so I don't know why these teachers think it is OK to push the kids harder and encourage parents to push harder. I stupidly did it, and my child hates school and hates reading now. We used to read books together all the time - I remember how he used to sit on my lap and loved when I read to him. But half way through kindergarten he wouldn't read with me, stopped writing me "stories," stopped anything to do with reading and writing near me because I was trying to teach him (and I am, actually, a former Kinder teacher who knows how to teach reading. It's been a year now, and he still won't even let me read him a bedtime story.

Don't listen to the teacher. Be strong and preserve your child's love of learning.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Remember the benchmark is set for all students and is usually set at the 25 th or 16 th percentile. It is not set at the 50 th percentile nor does it represent "average". It is the bottom of low average and scoring below is a red flag for most students.


Says who?? I don't think the benchmark is low at all. Ten years ago that was definitely 50%, and not more. Less in many schools. Also, girls read much sooner than boys on average, so any percentile is already skewed against boys.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:yes! unfortunately, I found out too late and DD and DS never learned a correct pencil grip. It was impossible to fix the incorrect grip that they had become accustomed to.


Why exactly does this matter?? I am an adult with an incorrect grip. I write beautifully and can do calligraphy. It's never held me back, but every single teacher until high school berated me for it.
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