How Does Your Child Treat Children with Minor Issues?

[Anonymous]

DC is very bright, one of the better readers in his class, highly verbal, very warm and empathetic. But he has a few issues, none ofwhich seem to quailfy him as special needs though. He has mild sensory issues.

His preschool treats his neurological issue as a behavioral one and seeks to continually punish him each time he does something quirky or odd. Its been like hitting my head against a brick wall trying to explain to his teachers that it's wrong to punish him to try to get his behavior to change. I'm sick to my stomach of watching how this is affecting DC but I have no other school to place him in. He has minor attention issues and a mild sensory issue. What can I do to get his teacher to understand that time, developmental growth, and evolution are what will make his behavior change?

Then I visited a elementary school to check out their kg class. There is a child there who seems tohave speech problems. The teacher was unbelievably cruel to him, getting irritated that he was unable to pronounce the letter "w." She told him, "Aw come on..for goodness sake, say it! You can do it. See how I say it? Now say it like I said it!" I know that due to integration some special needs children are in public school classrooms now. I've thought about complaining. Who should I complain to? Would it do any good anyhow?

How does your school deal with your child if they have some minor issues?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear this. I think every teacher in the country needs to take a workshop on accommodating learning styles like your child's and the child in the K class.

If you haven't already, discuss your concerns with your child's pediatrician, psychologist, whoever makes sense, about what they think the ideal classroom approach should be for your child. I'd also speak to the head of the preschool to make sure they understand the diagnosis and to get a handle on how thought-out their methods are. Maybe they aren't. Perhaps you can educate them on this, provide literature, etc.

Where you the only parent who saw the K teacher? If it was a tour, and others were present, you could send an anonymous note. I would not do anything that includes your name, including sending an anonymous email, since there's no such thing. (They can trace most emails.)

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

I have a child with both speech delays and sensory issues (and a few other things) and was horrified to read your post. I never experienced anything like what you've described. With the articulation issues, the teachers are aware of his program goals and work with him on using the sounds he has, particularly the recently acquired ones. He is never expected to use sounds he doesn't have the capability to make.

With respect to neurological issues, they come out in the form of inability to stay on task, inability to eat many foods and some other things. With the attention issue, I've found that the teachers move him or get him to be a helper or use other methods to keep him focused. With eating, they gave him one to one in preschool and pre-k. (In kindergarten he is on his own, as are all kids, because it has not affected his ability to perform in school so he is not entitled to services for it.)

I have seen that in kindergarten, my son is expected to stay on task more than in preschool and prek. However, he only gets negative consequences if he disrupts the class, which is not a neurological or developmental delay issue. It is behavioral for him and he needs to face the consequences, so I have no problem with it. As far as his attention problems that are due to his medical issues, they are particularly prevalent with activities that involve language and he is placed with an aide and/or in a very small group for that type of learning.

My son does have an IEP and I make sure to attend all meetings well prepared to brainstorm about his needs and develop a plan for dealing with them.

[Anonymous]

I think it would benefit your child to keep him home. Really. Playdates and classes for young children can provide the opportunities to socialize with peers, and reading to him and playing with him will more than adequately prepare him for school academics. Punishing him for being a bit odd or quirky is dreadful and it sounds like you have already attempted to educate his teacher. Don't leave him in such an environment. Next year, place him back in school for k and monitor carefully. Work within the system with good faith. However, in the end, it is always an option to pull your child out of a bad situation. ALWAYS.

[Anonymous]

OP your question title is How Does Your CHILD Treat Other Children .... so I'm going to speak to that topic.

My son has some mild delays and probably mild SPD, and I am heartbroken to report that other CHILDREN in his preschool sometimes do not treat him very well due to his issues. This has definitely affected his self-esteem a little and has shaped his view of whether school and typical activities like soccer are fun, or not fun.

This is particularly disturbing to me because his teachers are awesome and I could not possibly ask for them to do anything different in the classroom. Highly educated and trained, they are. The bottom line is that they can't police all comments and fleeting behaviors by all the kids, all the time.

[Anonymous]

on the thread topic too . . . I think my child treats children with minor issues well most of the time. It is something we work on a lot. DC is 4 -- and i think it is something you need to work on with your child. they are at an age where they notice differences, but don't know what is behind them. DC has expressed a preference not to play with certain children, and I can tell it is related to primarily minor social development issues with these kids . . . e.g., they aren't yet able to engage in imaginary play (and trust me, DC has/will have DC's own issues -- all kids do -- it just they aren't those that have played out socially in preschool yet). As DC's parent, at these times, I do several things: (a) I emphasize the community of the classroom, (b) I emphasize commonalities with the child (e.g., a shared love of dinosaurs), (c) I up our at home social curricuum of books on tolerances, differences, etc., and (d) I reach out for a playdate with the child (to build the bridge betw. my child and the other child) if possible. I really do these things when i am aware -- but i am not always aware, and i do fear that there have been times when my child has excluded another child. I guess I hope that the parents of children excluded also realize that the other child is not mean or cruel or bad, but also just a child . . . a child working on the skill of empathy. I would hope that if my child did something and a parent or teacher was aware of it, that they would reach out to the other child/other parent for a playdate, etc.

With regard to the teachers, I would definitely try to discuss the issues, and, if I wasn't happy with the response, find another school. My DC's teachers do a fantastic job of community building and i can't ever imagine allowing my child to continue in an environment where they were mistreated like that. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your question title is How Does Your CHILD Treat Other Children .... so I'm going to speak to that topic.

My son has some mild delays and probably mild SPD, and I am heartbroken to report that other CHILDREN in his preschool sometimes do not treat him very well due to his issues. This has definitely affected his self-esteem a little and has shaped his view of whether school and typical activities like soccer are fun, or not fun.

This is particularly disturbing to me because his teachers are awesome and I could not possibly ask for them to do anything different in the classroom. Highly educated and trained, they are. The bottom line is that they can't police all comments and fleeting behaviors by all the kids, all the time.

Oh gosh. OP here. I really messed up that title. It should read, "How does your school treat your child with.." I'll ask Jeff if he can change this title as I don't know how I can now!