how to help DS remember to bring his instrument to school?

[Anonymous]

One day of the week, DS age 11 needs to bring his instrument into school for band practice. Inevitably I have to remind him both the night before to put his instrument by the front door (in hopes that he will remember it in the morning), and then often I still need to remind him to pick it up on his way out the door in the morning (I swear, it is like he doesn't even notice it is there). We have tried the "natural consequence" of letting him forget the instrument and then he just has to miss band, but it hasn't seemed to cause him to remember it going forward. I'd like to help him come up with a way to remember it - does anyone have a suggestion? For myself, I set reminders on my smart phone - that obviously isn't a possibility for him Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I like threats. Tell him if he forgets it, you will come rushing to the bus stop with your hair in curlers and still wearing pjs to bring it to him, and then you will LICK YOUR PALM before petting his hair, and then give him a big hug and kiss when the bus pulls up. When he gets on the bus you will yell, "Mommy love you, Schmoopsie, have a fantastic day!"

That should light a fire under his ass.

[Anonymous]

That, and stick the instrument RIGHT IN FRONT of the front door the night before. Is it small or large? Hard to forget a tuba.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like threats. Tell him if he forgets it, you will come rushing to the bus stop with your hair in curlers and still wearing pjs to bring it to him, and then you will LICK YOUR PALM before petting his hair, and then give him a big hug and kiss when the bus pulls up. When he gets on the bus you will yell, "Mommy love you, Schmoopsie, have a fantastic day!"

That should light a fire under his ass.

Brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Put it on top of his backpack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put it on top of his backpack.

We have a few large clips that we use to take this one step farther. Things that need to be remembered get physically attached to things that are tough to forget. My kid seems to need that extra step to force him to pause and realize to take the other item.

Something like this: http://www.amazon.com/Large-Clip-Hook-Aluminum-Carabiner/dp/B0053OEUV8

[Anonymous]

When my daughter had trouble remembering her school folder she wrote herself a big note and put it on the front door. Can't get out of the house without seeing it and hasn't forgotten her folder since it went up.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for these ideas! I love the image of running to the bus stop in big pink hair rollers and fuzzy slippers!
These ideas still seem to require some reminder from me - even if it is the night before. I'd ideally like to help him get into some kind of reminder ha it that doesn't require me remembering at all! (since I have my own never ending list of stuff to remember!) Am I being unrealistic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for these ideas! I love the image of running to the bus stop in big pink hair rollers and fuzzy slippers!
These ideas still seem to require some reminder from me - even if it is the night before. I'd ideally like to help him get into some kind of reminder ha it that doesn't require me remembering at all! (since I have my own never ending list of stuff to remember!) Am I being unrealistic?

At that age, he is never going to remember something if it is only once a week. I'd go ahead and stick a big note on the door. Also, I have a big calendar on the wall where I write pretty much everything for the whole family. My middle schoolers have started checking that calendar daily to see what's going on. It's still asking a lot for an 11 year old when it's only once a week.

[Anonymous]

Block the door with the instrument?

I would give my son his instrument in the morning, but he would forget to go to his lesson during the school day...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for these ideas! I love the image of running to the bus stop in big pink hair rollers and fuzzy slippers!
These ideas still seem to require some reminder from me - even if it is the night before. I'd ideally like to help him get into some kind of reminder ha it that doesn't require me remembering at all! (since I have my own never ending list of stuff to remember!) Am I being unrealistic?

Does he even like band? Is forgetting the instrument something he's doing purposefully?

--If he has the same basic weeknight schedule, have a M-F calendar posted by the door with visual reminders--the instrument on the day he takes band.
--Have a set time every day after homework is done and ask him, "It's X o'clock, what do you need to do to prepare for tomorrow?"
--Insert a monthly calendar with his schedule written out, "Tuesday Band."
--Establish a "launch pad" where he sets his backpack and whatever else he needs for school.

These all came to me off the top of my head. I seriously question your ability to plan ahead/prepare when all you've come up with is "natural consequences."

[Anonymous]

If they really like band they wont forget the instrument

[Anonymous]

For my ADHD son, we've used both checklists and putting signs on the door. Both worked really well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for these ideas! I love the image of running to the bus stop in big pink hair rollers and fuzzy slippers!
These ideas still seem to require some reminder from me - even if it is the night before. I'd ideally like to help him get into some kind of reminder ha it that doesn't require me remembering at all! (since I have my own never ending list of stuff to remember!) Am I being unrealistic?

Yes, a little bit. No one is perfect, least of all an 11-year old. Keep trying; someday they will be reminding you about things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they really like band they wont forget the instrument

No true. My DS lives for music and sometimes forgets - - the difference is that he really beats himself up over it because now he is missing something he loves. You'd think that would be enough of an incentive, but alas, no.