Anger/ODD help in No VA Stat

[Anonymous]

So hard to write this and I did do a quick search on older threads but overwhelmed.....so if anyone can share a quick idea this morning. My DS whom I love beyond measure is clearly in need of help. We've tried a bit of therapy in past so not new to us but I think this is more. He is a young teen so that the anger outburts and drama are no longer just chalked up to what has always been our excuse of " he's brgiht, he's just difficult, he's shy, etc. Also Absolutely loving and kind when he wants to be but now almost evrything is an over reaction to the smallest request, discussion, decions.

I see that Kellar Inova has a program for depression, anger - can diagnose. Has anyone been there or other suggestions? We have a therapist we can go back to but I am not sure if she is best as I think this is more than helping him with her gentle talk therapy on anxiety, not trying to be a perfectionist. I think this is biochemical or sometype of abnormal behavior identifiable in the DSM handbook. May even need to try meds?

So overwhelmed as I know it will be a process to find the right person. I am willing to do that but time is of the essence as he is starting to miss school. That is the other issue so I feel like we are just putting band- aids on crisis and he needs major support. If anyone can share resources this morning, I would truly appreciate.

Sorry for poorly written post but I have been up most of night waiting to call doctors. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I have been there, OP. You will find your way through. I would recommend a psychiatrist ASAP. The ones that take insurance often have long waiting lists, but there are many who don't take insurance who can get you in quicker. I don't know VA providers but hopefully you will get some recommendations here. (Or maybe the Keller Center has psychiatrists? I have read positive reviews on DCUM but am not familiar with their services.) Anxiety in teen boys often looks like anger. Your son is acting out because he is overwhelmed. (Whether by anxiety or something else.) You know your son best so make sure your psychiatrist listens to you as well as him.

I would not waste time with a therapist who doesn't seem like a good fit. I have spent thousands on therapy when I should have switched but it seemed like an overwhelming task to start over. Again, you will probably have better luck with a practice that doesn't take insurance. And make sure the therapist meets with you and your son separately. (Together is also fine, but there should be time for you and him to talk to the therapist alone.)

Finally, the advice I wish someone had given me - don't be angry with your son, even though it's a natural response to bad behavior. He is most likely not acting this way because he wants to. Continue to build your relationship with him, do things with him, show him that he is loved unconditionally and that you will do whatever it takes to get him feeling better and being successful at school and relationships and life.

It is overwhelming and hard but you can do this!

[Anonymous]

PP, thank you. Crying reading your post as no one really understands - not family, friends even though they want to supoort. Waiting until 10 to start making calls. Your post was like a warm hug so thank you.

[Anonymous]

We have had good psych care for similar issues at child and family counseling in fairfax. i have tried to get in to see someone at inova kellar since they are in network but they were not taking new patients when i called.

[Anonymous]

OP,


You definitely need to see a psychiatrist for an evaluation:
http://www.wrightslaw.com/blog/?p=131

"You also need to get a comprehensive evaluation to find out what is going on with him, why he can’t control himself, and how to help him get himself under control..."

Once you've attended to the immediate need, you may want to think about getting your son an IEP:
http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/Crisis.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been there, OP. You will find your way through. I would recommend a psychiatrist ASAP. The ones that take insurance often have long waiting lists, but there are many who don't take insurance who can get you in quicker. I don't know VA providers but hopefully you will get some recommendations here. (Or maybe the Keller Center has psychiatrists? I have read positive reviews on DCUM but am not familiar with their services.) Anxiety in teen boys often looks like anger. Your son is acting out because he is overwhelmed. (Whether by anxiety or something else.) You know your son best so make sure your psychiatrist listens to you as well as him.

We've dealt more with ADHD, but our experience was meds with seratonin helped tremendously with ODD (anxiety based) behavior. And I've heard from other parents of boys with ADHD that adding seratonin (zoloft?) for anxiety really helped. Good luck

[Anonymous]

I'm 8:34. My son has done very well on Prozac. Not well at all on Wellbutrin. Two other providers were surprised he was even put on Wellbutrin to start. Prozac/Zoloft are the usual first meds for anxiety for kids/adolescents. (Just FYI.)

[Anonymous]

I have a child with HFA and severe OCD type anxiety. Prozac has worked well for him.

[Anonymous]

For those on Prozac, what dosage are your children at? My DS has started at 5mg for the past 2 weeks and we are supposed to go up to 10 mg tomorrow, so I was just wondering what a common dosage amount was (if there is a common amount!)

[Anonymous]

My son is an older teen (fully grown) and takes 50 mg. That seems to be on the high end of normal dose for anxiety. Our dr. said he will use up to 80 for OCD symptoms.

It took a few months for him to get up to that dose.

[Anonymous]

I have a 120 pound, 5 foot 3 dc on 40 mg Prozac. He started on 10 mg at around 80 lbs, dose moved up to 20, stayed 29 for about a year, now at 40.

[Anonymous]

Take a look at the approach outlined in Ross Greene's work: his website, www.livesinthebalance.org gives a good overview.

Get an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss the possibility of medication. Depression often presents in young teens as anger and irritability. For my DD, Prozac was a life-saver.

I will also mention a specific therapeutic approach: DBT, which combines talk therapy with training in mindfulness and distress tolerance. It really works for kids who have difficulty with emotion regulation. Big time and financial commitment, though. The two practices I know are Wake Kendall (NW DC) and Rathbone (Bethesda).

Good luck and hugs.

[Anonymous]

Circle in the Square practice in Falls Church for therapy.

Most child psychiatrists are not in any network if they are good. If you can at all swing it, go to Dr. Bullock in McLean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a look at the approach outlined in Ross Greene's work: his website, www.livesinthebalance.org gives a good overview.

Good luck and hugs.

Second this. My son was much younger when he was angry and defiant all the time. The Explosive Child, Lost at School, and the ASLUP can be very helpful. Look for his lagging skills and unsolved problems. Implement Plan B (as described in website / book).

My son is much better now. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

He sounds depressed. We used natural calm magnesium dupplements and Epsom salt ( magnesium) baths to get us through a rough period and help the coil unwind but not recommended for more than a few months. School can trigger this kind of anxiety and stress. We also found dropping demands, reducing school and activity load helped. Make sure he has opportunities to exercise. Seeing a CBT therapist regularly is important. We got through a very tough period with our son with mild ASD this way. There is a CBT psychologist whose last name is Dalton who works with kids with school refusal. I saw him speak and seems excellent. It is hard to get in with him but perhaps he has a wait list and work with someone else in the meantime.