Help - 42, thinking of TTC, know nothing!

[Anonymous]

So we're thinking about starting a family and are open to adoption. However, we haven't tried getting pregnant - I just assumed that path would probably be too difficult given my age. However, I'm thinking it might be worth it to at least give it a shot first before going the adoption route (not exactly a walk in the park either from what I hear). And this is terrible but I haven't been to the doctor in ages - not even for regular Pap smears. I know - idiotic. So obviously need to make an appt stat with an OBGYN but should I also be looking into an "RE" at same time or wait to see an ObGyn first (which could take months - this is partly why I'm so bad at seeing docs - can't stand the crazy long waits for appts....) and then wait another few months for an appt with an RE? And when I say I know nothing, I mean it. What is an RE, and do I need one of those or is an ObGyn the same thing? Thanks and please no need to tell me I'm an idiot - I know already. Just been too busy with life and was never really dying to have kids... Also never opposed tho so always just figured if it happens it happens. But DH really wants them and lately, I'm feeling like I'd really like that too so.... Timing has never been my strong point.

[Anonymous]

There is no reason you can't pursue natural conception and adoption at the same time. Adoption can be a very long and difficult process. I know one family that was in their early 2nd trimester when they were matched with a boy in Russia. Their sons are 19 months apart in age and great siblings.

I would 1) get a health check up, 2) read Taking Charge of Your Fertility (and follow it), and 3) go to an adoption info session.

[Anonymous]

Second "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". I also recommend the OvWatch to get alerted to your fertile days. Pursue adoption, but give every month a chance and maybe you'll luck out and catch a "golden egg".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason you can't pursue natural conception and adoption at the same time. Adoption can be a very long and difficult process. I know one family that was in their early 2nd trimester when they were matched with a boy in Russia. Their sons are 19 months apart in age and great siblings.

I would 1) get a health check up, 2) read Taking Charge of Your Fertility (and follow it), and 3) go to an adoption info session.

Agree with all this but step 0 can be "have unprotected sex".

[Anonymous]

Congrats on the decision to TTC, OP!

First, call an RE right away to get an appointment. Some women say the wait can be a few months but try a few clinics and see how quickly you can get in to do basic bloodwork/tests. At 42, I would not expect an RE to be super positive about your chances, but at least you'll be able to gather some basic information about your hormone levels.

Second, start charting. Either check out the book Taking Charge of your Fertility or look at a website like Fertility Friend for some tutorials. Essentially, you take your temperature at the same time every morning and you monitor your cervical fluid to determine when you're going to be fertile and will let you know that you ovulated. Some women also use OPKs (test strips you pee on to measure hormone levels) to help detect the time you're most likely to be fertile. It would be useful for you to know if you're ovulating or not. If you're not, TTC will obviously be a waste of time.

Third, have sex when you're fertile, at least every other day. Fertility is detected when your cervical fluid looks like "eggwhites." Again, the book or Fertility Friend website will help. At your age, you may only have a day or two of fertile cervical fluid, so you'll really want to time intercourse for those days. Try a sperm-friendly lubricant like Preseed as well.

Conceiving at your age is not impossible, but it'll be an uphill battle. An RE will likely suggest moving straight to IVF or possibly even donor egg. Personally, I would try to conceive for at least 6 months with my own eggs before thinking about moving on to other options, but your mileage may vary. You may as well start charting and trying to conceive right away while waiting for an RE appointment...maybe you'll have success right away! Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone! Just downloaded that book to my kindle. Its funny - you'd think I'd have more friends who've gone thru this but most of my female friends are single and childless.

[Anonymous]

Just as a tip on RE's - I called Shady Grove K Street and got a first-time, new-patient appointment the following week. So it doesn't have to be endless wait times, especially if you're not looking for a specific physician. Try au natural first! You could be surprised

[Anonymous]

The first step is to stop any birth control. Don't wait to do it, stop using any now!

Then do the rest of what everyone else said. You already know that time is not on your side. I would start trying on your own now, so that when the RE suggests IVF (which is likely) you have a few months of tracking your cycle so you know what you're working with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just as a tip on RE's - I called Shady Grove K Street and got a first-time, new-patient appointment the following week. So it doesn't have to be endless wait times, especially if you're not looking for a specific physician. Try au natural first! You could be surprised

I also got an appointment at Shady Grove really quickly. Call, go for your initial appointment, if you don't like what you hear you don't have to move forward with treatment.

[Anonymous]

just want to say good luck! Start taking prenatals as an "older woman" it helps to start before, if you aren't already

Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

As said above, go straight to RE. Shady Grove does not have long wait times. They will absolutely say IVF is your best bet at your age. Don't listen to the people posting about donor eggs--they need to see your test results first. I am over 40 also and just did IVF because my test results looked great--had a very successful cycle. Everyone is different. Go over your test results with your RE and decide what's best for you.

[Anonymous]

Ten years too late

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ten years too late

Hardly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ten years too late

Yes. No women conceive after 32. Proven fact.

[Anonymous]

def go to the RE. shady grove is perhaps the most convenient place to start-they will run all the tests to rule out anything and let you know where you stand. i would also invest in the clearblue fertility monitor even though its a bit pricey ($200 i think). you will be able to pinpoint your exact ovulation days and increase your chances greatly.