Today my boss tore into me. To the point I felt threatened.

[Anonymous]

Some background - my boss announced he is leaving at the end of the year for another position. I think this was probably the best move and I applaud him for recognizing that it was longer a condusive environment to his strengths and it was time for a leadership change.

Since that point my boss (head of organization) has been extra sensitive about his leaving. We are all acting like he isn't going anywhere and it's almost an unwritten rule to not discusss it. Anytime I (respectfully) offer a different opinion it turns into him taking it very personally. It has always been like this but has escalated since the annoucment.

Today my boss called me into his office and just let me have it. Started out with saying he has noticed a change in my behavior the last 8 weeks (despite my recieving a recent stellar review and salary adjustment) and that I was disrespectful to him and the organization he built.

He laid out 3 incidents. All of which occurred last week or the week before. One was a conversation he listened to between myself and someone else that he took way out of context. The other was when I corrected him (after being prompted) about what a budget line item was intended for. Lastly, I was asked at a meeting with a potential consultant about the communication structure. I answered honestly and respectfully but this was somehow construed into me "tearing down the organization" he has built. I assure you, no one in that meeting would agree with his perception.

This all summed up into me not being respectful to him and being a know it all. At this point he physically leaned across the table and pointed his finger in my face while verbally yelling and berating me.

Up until this point I was silent. He was so irrational and clearly didnt want to make this a back and forth so I said nothing but made eye contact and nodded my head. When he put his finger in my face I said something to the point of "you're being very aggressive with me and if you don't stop putting your finger in my face I will need to leave the room" he stopped talking, sat back and said "watch yourself"

He continued on for a few minutes and when it appeared he had concluded I said I apologize and was that all. He said yes and I left.

I can honestly say I have never been treated like that by anyone in my professional career. It was almost the point of cruel. Not at all constructive and just truly one of the worst professional experiences I have ever encountered.

We had no interaction the rest of the day. I am trying to figure out where to go from here, what I should do if anything or simply try and put it behind me. We will have a new boss soon enough.

For the record, I don't think this behavior is characteristic of my boss. I think he usually has the best intentions and wants to do right but he can get very emotional and I imagine is under a lot of stress transitioning out of the organization.

I would appreciate your thoughts and advice.

[Anonymous]

Can you report it to HR?

[Anonymous]

Sorry that this happened to you OP. Sounds very frightening and scary.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Who do you trust in the company?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he has some weird anxiety about leaving. Staff pretending that he is not leaving, etc. is really odd.

Since he is the head of the organization and on his way out, maybe just try to keep a really low profile until the new boss steps in.

[Anonymous]

My boss tried to pull my salary and instigated all sorts of madness, as he cleaned out his office. HR took it for what it was, a lame duck loser on a rampage. I got bonus days and zero complaints once he was out of the building.

Boss knows his power is gone, even if everyone is being nice through his departure in December. Keep your ideas until then, when they'll be welcome. Employees can do a lot of damage before they leave. Bosses, more so.

Ride it out. You'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My boss tried to pull my salary and instigated all sorts of madness, as he cleaned out his office. HR took it for what it was, a lame duck loser on a rampage. I got bonus days and zero complaints once he was out of the building.

Boss knows his power is gone, even if everyone is being nice through his departure in December. Keep your ideas until then, when they'll be welcome. Employees can do a lot of damage before they leave. Bosses, more so.

Ride it out. You'll be fine.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP this is not about you, you are just his target. It isn't an excuse, his behavior is inexcusable.

I would document it in an email and send it to yourself or a trusted peer, with the intention of only documenting your version of the story. This person must not talk about it or forward the email. If you don't have a trusted peer, mentor or advised, just send it to youself.

Then, for now, put it on the back burner.

If he has to talk to you again, bring in the third party. Be professional but distant for the rest of his tenure.

If nothing else comes of it, let it go. Of course do not forget; the line has been drawn on the professional relationship. Use it as a learning point of what never to do.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar experience. Fed office. Reported it to EEO and HR. They couldn't have cared less.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like me he is ready to either get you to move on or let you go. Beware.

[Anonymous]

In a private company, what he did was assault you and he would have been straight up fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a private company, what he did was assault you and he would have been straight up fired.

I don't think it's so unusual. Certainly not unheard of in law firms.

[Montana6]

Anonymous wrote:OP this is not about you, you are just his target. It isn't an excuse, his behavior is inexcusable.

I would document it in an email and send it to yourself or a trusted peer, with the intention of only documenting your version of the story. This person must not talk about it or forward the email. If you don't have a trusted peer, mentor or advised, just send it to youself.

Then, for now, put it on the back burner.

If he has to talk to you again, bring in the third party. Be professional but distant for the rest of his tenure.

If nothing else comes of it, let it go. Of course do not forget; the line has been drawn on the professional relationship. Use it as a learning point of what never to do.

Good luck.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a private company, what he did was assault you and he would have been straight up fired.

I don't think it's so unusual. Certainly not unheard of in law firms.

+1 This is unacceptable but not assault.

I'm sorry, OP. I guess I would just try to wait it out since he's leaving, but it sounds intolerable.

[Anonymous]

Montana6 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is not about you, you are just his target. It isn't an excuse, his behavior is inexcusable.

I would document it in an email and send it to yourself or a trusted peer, with the intention of only documenting your version of the story. This person must not talk about it or forward the email. If you don't have a trusted peer, mentor or advised, just send it to youself.

Then, for now, put it on the back burner.

If he has to talk to you again, bring in the third party. Be professional but distant for the rest of his tenure.

If nothing else comes of it, let it go. Of course do not forget; the line has been drawn on the professional relationship. Use it as a learning point of what never to do.

Good luck.

+100

Agree.